Week 7 - Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: Doctor's Madhouse vs Dolla 49 McRib

Doctor’s Madhouse: Albus Dumbledore, Lord Voldemort, Draco Malfoy, Darth Vader, Batman, Robin, Alfred w/ Yellow Double Lightsaber, Nightwing, Batgirl, Catwoman, Kid Flash, Yellow Lantern #3, Clone Trooper #1-10

Dolla 49 McRib: King pin, Proffesor McGonagall, Spectre, Sentry, Navy Seals #1-10, 10 Mandalorians, Darth Malak, Dr Strange, Atreides Soldier #1-10, Harkonnen Soldiers #1-10, Deadmen of Dunharrow #1-10, Terminator #1-5

Albus Dumbledore and the rest of the Doctor’s Madhouse are already set up shop in Hogwarts. Dumbledore, Batman, and Darth Vader are having a spirited conversation in the Great Hall about abortion over a delicious meal. 

Every few seconds there’s a “fuck them kids” from Vader whilst Batman wants to adopt every potential aborted fetus to create an assassin army so he can retire; and Dumbledore, a known boomer crazed diddler, is strongly against abortion as he wants as many opportunities and openings as possible.

Draco is immediately questioning the crowd he’s accompanied with as he hears every bit of their loud drunken chatter outside the Great Hall’s doors. 

Kid Flash is zooming through the castle at blazing speeds checking for any members of Dollar 49 McRib as Knightwing, Batgirl, and Robin swing down the staircases throughout the school doing the same. 

Voldemort, furious that he has to follow the orders of Dumbledore, is patrolling the outside castle walls with the remaining commons of the madhouse awaiting an attack from Dolla 49 McRib any minute now.

Dolla 49 McRib enters the scene and drops down in the Forbidden Forest from a sling ring courtesy of Dr. Strange. They silently cruise through the trees as they wipe the BBQ sauce off their face from their McDonald’s catering party in the locker room; which they quickly realized was not the best pre game meal. 

King Pin was suffering so bad that he lost the will to walk from pure obesity and attempted to scream “Business is Boomin” as the McRibs left him behind in the forest while he slowly died from the worst food coma known to man, and they begun their journey. 

Navy Seal #10 wanted all the smoke when he challenged Navy Seal #1 to a swimming contest with the remaining Seals standing by as audience and were to not join the battle; but were seen swimming the surrounding waters of Hogwarts throughout the skirmish. Little did they know they would become the dinner of a gang of Symphonic Amphibians camping there. 

The Spectre flies high above the trees to scout and immediately sees that Yellow Lantern #3 and the Clone Troopers of Dr’s Madhouse are taking the initiative. 

Yellow Lantern #3’s Lantern Ring glows like a star as it sees the Dead Men of Dunharrow and feels the fear they endure. He consumes the souls of the 10 Dead Man and looks for more, as bloodlusted as can be. He then makes quick work of all 10 Atreides Soldiers before The Spectre says no more and turns his ring to dust, making the common fall to his death; the Clone Troopers quickly follow his lead when the Spectre turns them into leaves that gently fall to the ground as Dolla 49 proceeds through the forest. 

Proffesor McGonagall leads the way on the ground and is frightened by the sight of Voldemort but proceeds as they have him severely out numbered. The McRib’s technique and speed helped them get past Voldy fairly easily with only losing the lives of all 5 Terminators and and the Mandalorians whose armor was attracted to the fierce lightning of Voldemort’s wand leading them to death. 

They barge into Hogwarts with no regard to how prepared their Combatants were as McGonogall catches a punch coming in at 700 MPH from Kid Flash launching her 50 feet out the door. Kid Flash then makes quick work of all 10 Harkonnen Soldiers and sends Dr. Strange into a frenzy before Strange teleports him over top of Darth Malak who ignites his lightsaber through his heart. 

Knightwing, Robin, and Batgirl prounce onto the scene and look to get to work but are outmatched by Dr. Strange’s Sorcery and Sentry’s raw strength leaving them bloodied as they make their way through the South Wing and up the grand staircase.

Catwoman’s dumbass has been doing Makeup through the Library Annex mirrors this entire time and kills herself because she comes to the realization that her hobby is reliant on the worst possible house pet in the world and that she is the inferior gender thus having no reason to continue with her useless pathetic life.

Darth Vader feels a disturbance in the force and him and Batman are delighted to see some action when they rush out of the great halls and see the remaining McRib’s scrambling. They’re 7 butter bears in but they are absolutely ready to cook some fools. 

Batman sees the knock off Superman in Sentry and starts cackling before sending a Radion Bullet through his cranium leaving his brains splattered across his mortified teammates. 

Vader tosses his lightsaber aside and uses both his hand to pick up Darth Malak and rip him in half with the force to let em know he HIM and it ain’t close. 

Dr. Strange tries his best but is quickly overwhelmed by Vader and Batman’s sluggish and drunken yet lethal and experienced combat.

The Spectre, watching this whole battle play out and deciding not to intervene, becomes translucent and makes his way towards Dumbledore in the Great Hall. As Albus is having his stache patted dry by Alfred he’s startled by Spectre’s sudden appearance out of thin air. 

The Spectre slowly walks toward Dumbledore and Alfred and retorts. “One way or another, I’m getting this W. For I am god. “

Dumbledore gets up, stumbling. “You don’t get it. I built this place. Down here I make the rules. Down here I make the threats. Down here… I’M GOD.”

Draco, Vader, and Batman come rushing in as they hear Dumbledore cast “Avada Kadavra”.

Even The Spectre couldn’t have predicted this use of dark magic, as he vanished immediately in disbelief.

Albus stood there disappointed in himself, but knew it’s what had to be done. 

They rip celebratory darts and talk about Zach’s dummy thicc dumpy until sun rise.