Grayson's Goobers Vs. The Underhills

 Grayson's Goobers are:  Alpha Trion & Omnius Robot #1-15, Commander Stargazer w/ Slybird & Macgyver in a Two Seater B-Wing, Alan Scott, Dash Rendar w/ Leebo, John Arbuckle w/ Odie, Sam Bonser (w/ a crysknife), Conner Weidman (THE DRINK), Tom Brady (w/ crysknife), Ukrainian Special Forces Soldier #8, Chief Chirpa, Princess Kneesaw, & Ace Duck in The Outrider, IG-88 in The IG-2000, Skyfire, Octane, Hyperion, Agamemnon & Juno, & Dr. Doom & Nermal in Mando's Naboo Starfighter.

The Underhills are:  The Death Star Commanded by Revan Reborn, Jedi Knight Guardian #2-10, Sith Marauder #1-5, & Xenomorph #6-13, Starkiller in Kyle's Jedi Starfighter, Darth Talon in a TIE Dagger, Bossk & Greef Karga in Hound's Tooth, Bo-Katan in an A-Wing, Bastilla Shan in a B-Wing, General Zod, Matrix, Neo (w/ 2 blue lightsabers), & Steel.  

Welcome to Space ladies and gentleman.  Out here in the deep....  The final frontier......  We of course are putting the fantasy back in Fantasy Fantasy this week as we are not in real space; but the fake space that NASA, the government, and the media talk about all the time.  We are pretending like what they say is real and that it is possible to get past The Van Allen Belts.  As if there was truly something reachable beyond the firmament of the earth.  

This match, btw; will be fought completely in space itself and not in or on The Justice League Satellite Headquarters because the very first thing Revan and his peeps in the Death Star did was blow The JLA HQ up.  Revan is now recharging the weaponry on The Death Star preparing for its next blast.  aCksHuLlY......  That was the second thing Revan did as this match started.  The first thing he had to deal with was getting these d*** Xenomorphs of of his Death Star.  Not sure what genius was behind putting an alien that can live on its own in space inside his main ship when their entire movie series is about them taking over ships and killing everyone on board.  Luckily Revan has developed a devout loyalty among his half Jedi, half Sith crew whom he orders to get the Xenomorphs off of his ship.  The Force users from both sides of the aisle succeed in this mission; but Jedi Guardians #4 & 6, plus Sith Marauder #2 all perish in this friendly fire before they shove them out of THE GODD*** AIRLOCK.  Still not sure at this point how many aliens died by lightsaber before they got them out and how many are still floating around in space in the service of The Underhills.  I never was very good at math.  

 Dash Rendar has volunteered to lead the assault on The Death Star for The Goobers.  He has selected an elite crew of Goobers to operate the systems and weaponry of The Outrider to insure that everything goes off without a hitch.  His droid partner Leebo is of course in the co-pilot's seat; while Ace Duck, an excellent pilot himself is utilized for his perfect aim.  He and Tom Brady operate the front and rear guns of the ship.  Connor and Sam are the technical crew; but they are mostly just killing Busch Lights and talking about how cool Sam's new crysknife is while Conner The Drink (still don't know what the crap that even means) endlessly rips darts next to the hyperdrive.  Chief Chirpa and Princess Kneesaw are in the seats behind Dash.  They can't reach any of the ceiling switches that those seats are designed for; but they are laughing it up like fuzzballs tend to do as they use the vinyl seats to rub feces off their butts and pick lice out of each other's hair (a tasty snack when you are stuck in a space ship for that long).  John Arbuckle and Odie are hanging out in the lounge area playing fetch, waiting just in case Dash and the boys need the owner of Garfield to step up and use the amazing God Given skills that we all know he has.  Ukrainian Special Forces guy must have been in the bathroom or something, I don't remember seeing him.  As they accelerate to attack speed with the other ships following behind them, they all know that the space battle is about to begin; but thus far all they have done is pick off a couple of floating Xenomorphs as target practice.  Ace Duck made an amazing shot that took two Xenomorphs out with one laser blast; but Tom Brady, a stickler for the rules yelled to him that:  "THAT ONLY COUNTS AS ONE".  

The two Bounty Hunter Ships; The IG-2000 and Hound's Tooth are locked in a battle that appears that both of them are standing totally still.  IG-2000 has far better speed because of IG-88's maxed out mods from recently doing the Chewbacca event; but everybody knows that Hound's Tooth has health and defense that are straight up off the chain.  IG-2000 is double attacking with his basic and attacking way more often; but Hound's Tooth is wicked annoying and just keeps getting protection up with foresight.  IG-2000 gets some serious RNG and gets lucky with a crit hit on its double attack to take Hound's Tooth into the yellow and then finish it off; but IG-2000 was already in the red and is finished off by a basic blat from The Death Star.  IG-88 does have the capability to survive in space on his own; but he does not escape the ship in time.  

Skyfire and Octane a former Decepticon who turned Autobot and a current Decepticon that turned oil tycoon and dude not on either team are in their jet forms flying through the stars as they are caught by surprise by Bo-Katan, Bastilla Shan, and Juhani in their rebels ships.  The Star Wars chicks are pretty good at flying for girls; but they are finding that their proton torpedos and concussion missiles are not having much success against the Cybertronian metal of the much larger Transformer jets.  Octane in his M978 Fueler Jet form is able to take out Juhani's B-Wing before being destroyed by Bo and Bastilla; but the A-Wing and B-Wing combo are not able to take out the ultimate Autobot Jet.  

No hate on Hyperion; but he gets quickly ratioed by General Zod.  If you don't understand that process you are either a Marvel Slappy or a Retard.  

Alan Scott and Neo on the other hand is a pretty rad throw down.  Pitched battle as the Fantasy Fantasy Watchers of yesteryear used to frequently regurgitate.  Scott's green energy that is exactly like the other green lanterns; but somehow completely different and purely coincidental in name and methodology cuz magic.......   is giving The Chosen One quite a run for his money.  So much so, that Neo has said:  "Whoa".......  No less than thirty-seven times.  The fight has a lot of fast moving switching to slow-mo scenes with the backdrop of stars in space.  They must have used purple screen like George Lucas so it could pick up the green energy blasts and white lightsabers.  Or maybe they went old school and used blue screen and just forgot to color in the white lightsabers like that Darth Vader scene in The New Hope before the special edition came out.  Either way, the fight bopped hard.  6.5 stars out of a possible 4.  After all the magical flying and kung fu was done though, the skirmish eventually ended with two lightsabers going into the chest of ol' Al Scott.  

 Agamemnon and Juno roll up in some super fancy, modded out space meks that would make any floating brain in a jar jealous; with Stargazer and Macgyver acting as Wingman in their B-Wing.  They see two obvious DEI picks floating around clueless and assume that some chick and a black guy must be another NASA mistake that they left stranded.  Oh well, maybe Elon Musk and sPaCe fOrCe can come rescue them or something.  The two giant Cymek Titans pull up and try to get rowdy against the two DC Characters; but they quickly find out that although they still seemingly have the upper hand that Steel and Matrix might just be a little more than a big hammer and a big rack.  The S on their chests must not stand for stupid like they originally thought.  This battle is too, quite pitched.  Agamemnon and Juno are still super big and bad though and are able to use their myriad claws, guns, fire stuff, and other neat toys to keep Steel and Supergirl at bay.  They gain the upper hand; but the scales are definitely tipped for The Underhills when Zod and Neo show up to play.  Zod is able to take out Agamemnon and Neo does the same to Juno; but they don't get there in time to save the lives of Superman's buddies who fall to the adorable Titan couple.  The B-Wing tries to escape the encounter and regroup with the other Goobers; but Zod hits their gyroscope ship in the tailwing with his heat vision and ruins their retreat.  

As the Death Star's main laser cannon warms up for the next blast, The Goobers put together a fool proof plan that they are confident will succeed in the destruction of The Underhills.  Via com, Dash Rendar, Alpha Trion, Skyfire, and Victor Von Doom discuss the details before the action begins.  As Alpha Trion in his much larger and heavily armored Autobot Ship is attacked by Starkiller and Lord Talon in their fighters, Dr. Doom and Nermal in Mando's cromed  out Naboo Starfighter joins the skirmish and makes a dogfight out of it.  Dogs....  "I wish for a dog", Dr. Doom thinks to himself as he is stuck in his vacuum sealed cockpit with Nermal the cat.  The inside of the ship basically smells like a mix of spolied Russian dressing and cat urine.  They put a lot of thought into this ship when they made the modifications to take out the droid compartment and add the area in which Nermal is lounging; but a litter box and some tidy cat breeze was not part of it.  

In the meantime though.....  

What Revan and The Underhills do not realize is that this skirmish is merely a diversion from the true master plan of The Goobers.  

Skyfire and The Outrider are secretly docking with each other, so Dash Rendar himself can go on an extremely dangerous solo mission to knock out the deflector shield of The Death Star.  Once this is completed, it will make it much easier for The Outrider to target their concussion missiles into the main reactor and destroy The Death Star completely.  The Outrider and its crew will then have to navigate the narrow trench of The Death Star while evading the turbo lasers, gun turrets, and short range TIE Fighters.  Their flight plan will have to be conducted flawlessly; but the shot they make to start the chain reaction to blow The Death Star up from the inside will have to be even more perfecter.  It might even have to be the most perfectest.  As Commodore Rendar prepares to deboard The Outrider, he calls upon Captain John Arbuckle to come up to the cockpit and take over as the main pilot before they begin their attack run.  As a heartfelt goodbye takes place between John and Dash, who is worried that "he may never see her again" in regards to The Outrider they part ways......  But the action in the cockpit is just getting started.  And by action, I mean the furry farting contest being conducted by Odie and the ewoks Chirpa and his daughter Kneesaw.  The smell is just as bad as "the breath on that thing" in that ridiculous scene in Jaws 4 with Michael Caine.  Lt. Ace Duck and Lt. JG. Tom Brady from the gun turrets join in the fun too.  Ace eats three raw fish and throws down a feathery bit of foul, or was it fowl flatulence, while Brady channels his inner Gronk the Homie by shotgunning a Busch Latte and throwing down a girlie, Vegan SBD.  The farts are getting more and more intense in and out of the cockpit, and at first Leebo is annoyed but then decides "if you can't beat em, join em".  I didn't even know robots could fart until right now; but boy was I proven wrong.  Robot farts smell like a sort of acrylic paint sensation with a mix of DOT 3 Brake fluid and iron deficient baby stool.  BUT PRINCESS KNEESAW WOULD NOT BE UNDONE......  She decides it is time for her to shine and truly take control of this match.  She unleashes what would have been the winning fart of this contest had it not broken the rules and materialized as more than simply air passing through a mound of feces but instead became the very essence of fecal matter itself as she blasts a fiery deluge of butt pee out of her tiny furry butt that coats the control panel of The Outrider with a melted dark Nestle with almonds look that would have made an intoxicated Exxon Ocean Ship Captain proud.  Airman Conner Da Drink is  laughing hysterically in the back and I think I even heard some laughter from the can, where I think Private Danylo of The Ukrainian Special Forces still is (not really sure though, I still haven't seen the guy).  Chief Warrant Officer Sam Bonser is doing The Sign of The Cross and wondering how he ever got caught up with this insane group of De-Gens; but then reminds himself that he was made to suffer and that hanging out with a group of De-Gens is his lot in life.  But needless to say, they are professionals and have a job to do; and although this spaceship may resemble the cigar laden backyard of a Houslander Family Party............  This Death Star isn't gonna destroy itself.....              

The hope was that Alpha Trion and The Omnius Robots, along with their wingman Dr. Doom would hopefully be able to keep the fighting focused on them; but as the countdown concludes and The Death Star finally completes its warm up sequence, The enormous Autobot Ship is targeted and blown to pieces by The Death Star.  The dogfight between Dr. Doom being double teamed by Starkiller and Darth Talon.  Doom and the super useful Nermal the cat manage to take out The Jedi Starfighter Starkiller borrowed from Kyle Houslander; but The King of Latveria is eventually taken out by a proton torpedo blast from The TIE Dagger piloted by Talon.

Skyfire, the former master scientist of the Cybertronian Academy, with Dash Rendar on board comes in close to a landing platform of The Death Star; but The Autobot finds that he is no longer in control of his own actions.  He is being brought in by the powerful tractor beam of The Imperial Space Station.  Skyfire attempts to transform into robot form; but he is hit by an Ion Cannon from The Ultimate Weapon.  Skyfire, now being held completely motionless is being sent into an extreme heat, trash melting mechanism for debris (it is 2025 after all and The government of The Empire has gone woke; all ships must be equipped with clean/green energy trash disposal systems instead of dumping their garbage into space like the old administration used to do (silly libtards)).  As Skyfire's Spark is extinguished with Commodore Rendar still trapped inside, Dash's last words are murmured under his breath:  "It's all up to you now Arbuckle"...........

 John Arbuckle, now in the Captain's chair of the modified YT-2400 Light Freighter known as The Outrider, dials in and prepares his ship and crew for their attack run on The Death Star.  He knows that everything depends upon them to defeat The Underhills and win the day.  He focuses his attention on the mission and thinks to himself:  "This is where the training kicks in"........  

As the situation intensifies even further:  Conner, puts his hand on Sam's shoulder and says:  "I feel dizzy.....  Do you think it is a disturbance in The Force"??  Sam looks him in the eye and says:  "No......  That's diarrhea My Guy"......   

Captain John Arbuckle with his trusty aid Odie in his lap locks in and begins his attack run.  This is for all the marbles.....  He knows it.  Everyone on the ship knows it as they bravely swoop into the trench to begin their attack run.  John, via his nerves of steel reinforce his confidence and intensify his heroic nature.  

They take the brunt of the first laser blast going into the trench........

 

And that's it......  Are you guys still here??

The match is over.

Wait.  Wait.......  You didn't really think the guy from Garfield was going to blow up The Death Star did you??