Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Sandworm #1-13, Ginaz Swordsman #15, Dorf, Shatterstar, Jawa #1-10, Starro, Hawkman & Hawkwoman, Shazam, Scarlet Witch, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup, Doc Brown, Lobo, Agent-X, Ron Popeil, Marine #2-14, & Ewok #4 & 5.

Xavier’s Annihialtion Squad is Imhotep, The Scorpion King, Anck Su Namun, Silver Samurai, Ursa, Mary Embery, (movie) Bone Crusher, (movie) Barricade, Paul Atreides, The Sinister Six: Sandman, Hobgoblin, Dr. Octopus, Mysterio, Vulture, & Electro, Reverse Flash, Shredder, Spawn, Zorro, Walker: Texas Ranger, Darth Voltress, Darth Ocron, Geo-Force, Apocalypse, Shinobi & Yamato, The Leprechaun, Samurai #21-25, Atreides Soldier #11-13.


Ahhhhhh! What a great feeling it is for the Murderflies to be in the cinnamon enriched, arid landscape that is Arrakis. It is truly wonderful for the entire spice addicted team to be able to be on a planet that might as well be a giant spice tank, where their captive Sandworms can once again feel free and alive. For Brock Sampson’s boys being on this planet is like putting Kurt Cobain and Layne Staley directly into the heroine needle and then putting that little plastic cap back on. The Annihilation Squad on the other hand (like every other sane group of people) think that this place is an absolute S**t hole (but hey to each their own). To begin the fight Starro instantly disobeys Gen. Popeil’s orders by attacking the Annihilation Squad on his own. Paul Atreides sees how this creature of enormous telepathic energy is approaching and simply tells his team to get away from him. Walker Texas Ranger agrees because he is always right but Reverse Flash (from now on we’ll refer to him as his other name Zoom because it is not nearly as dumb) asks Paul “Why would we run away from one single member of their team? Aren’t we here to fight”? “We aren’t running from the Starfish” Paul says as he is already high-tailing it out of the area. Just then 6 Sandworms eject out of the sand around them leaving lightning like ripples in the ground. The Sandworms consume Starro, Anck Su Namun, Bone Crusher, Dr. Octopus, Shredder, Spawn, Silver Samurai, Darth Ocron, Shinobi, Yamato, & Samurai #22. This is such a tremendous melee of destruction that Sandworm #11 also is killed by its brethren in the process. General Popeil pulls out what is not so much an invention but an innovation of an old classic. Straight out of the Arrakis archives the Popester has used Fremen technology and Ronco know-how to create what he simply calls the Thumper Launcher. Every Fremen from age 5 and up knows how to plant a thumper so they can summon a worm to ride; but what if you want to summon the worm to send it somewhere else? That’s right, you guessed it! With the new patented Thumper Launcher from Ronco all you have to do is attach your Thumper (not included) into your Ronco Thumper Launcher, aim, point, and pull your Ronco quick release safety trigger and you can summon a worm to somewhere where you aren’t (only 6 easy payments of $33.32). ACT NOW! This spiel prompts the Leprechaun, though hundreds of meters away and on the other team to start singing everybody’s favorite St. Patrick’s Day commercial: “We’ve______ ______Got____ Bargains and bargains and bargains and bargains and bargains and bargains and bargains and bargains and bargains……… Gen. Popeil himself takes aim with the first thumper launcher which he shoots as close to the Annihilation Squad as possible. The thumper imitates the patter of human feet which summons the mighty worm to the surface. Once the maker has come onto the landscape a brave Geo-force tries to break up the sand around the worm in what turns out to be a vain attempt at attack as the worm instantly consumes him and is completely unaffected by Geo Force’s power. The Mighty Apocalypse extends his body to its largest possible form and tries to punch the side of Sandworm #3 but it is of no use as he and the remaining 4 Samurai, along with Zorro, Vulture, and Hobgoblin are all crushed to death by the sheer weight of the amazing creature. The Sandworm retreats back into its natural habitat and leaves all involved alone for the time being. The Fremen in Paul Atreides has no illusions about the unstoppable force that is the Sandworms of Dune but as the son of a Duke he also knows that if his team is going to have any chance against this amazing display of desert power than they are going to have to go on the offensive. Paul Maud Dib’ sees that there are several members of his team that have quite amazing desert manipulation skills that he has no desire to put to waste. So he sends Imhotep, Scorpion King, Anck-su-namun, Sandman, Barricade, and Walker (he’s good at everything) to personally attack the rock outcropping that Gen. Popeil and his men are hiding out in and blasting thumpers from. He sends Zoom and Mysterio out as a scouting duo to help them out. Paul then creates a team of fighters that he believes could be powerful enough to kill a sandworm. For this he puts Ursa, Mary Embery, Darth Voltress, Electro, & The Leprechaun on the ready for when The Murderflies shoot the next thumper. Doc Brown: Popeil’s right hand man, straight-up brother from another mother, and (in Latin) Gluttimuss Maximus Best Friendicus pulls out his Thumper Launcher and launches the next thumper back toward the Annihilation Squad. Ursa’s team waits patiently for the worm to come while Paul puts himself into a trance like state to try and foresee a better course of action than the one that is before him. Zoom and Mysterio arrive at the Murderfly holdout first. They take them by surprise with one of Mysterio’s illusions and Zoom picks up a rock throwing it into Scarlet Witch’s head, killing her before she even knows that they are there. Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup rush into action and attack Zoom. Zoom knocks Blossom to the ground but the other 2 Power Puff Girls rip the Reverse Flash limb from limb. Mysterio attacks the 2 ewoks. He manages to kill ewok #4 but Ewok #5 is so severely wasted on spice laced groudy mimosas that he just thinks he is watching a light show of some sort. Lobo avenges the ewok by sticking his hook into Mysterio’s head. Shazam flies out to meet the next wave but some of the squad manages to move past him and keep moving toward Popeil’s peeps in the cave. Sandman & Imhotep stay to fight Shazam out in the wide open dunes. Sandman & Imhotep use their similar powers together well and bury Capt. Marvel in so much sand that even he can’t seem to throw it off fast enough. Shazam is hurling lightning at the 2 sand masters but he can’t get it to go thru. During this process there is so much lightning being flung around that they do not even notice the worm sign approaching. Sandman & Imhotep manage to drown Capt. Marvel in sand but the giant worm that pops out in front of them is used to thousands of pounds of sand pouring into his mouth, so when the huge maker engulfs the 2 sand throwers it does not even notice a difference. Barricade transforms into robot form but he is blasted by the 10 Jawas and their mini ion cannons. They quickly begin to take the Decepticon apart mid-battle despite what is going on around them. Meanwhile on the other side of the battlefield Sandworm #7 has popped up in response to the thumper shot by Doc Brown. Ursa and Mary Embery fly on either side of the great worm attempting to get a good position for attack while Darth Voltress & Electro turn out to be somewhat useless against the giant beast and are crushed underneath it. The Leprechaun begins zapping the worm with his evil little powers while Ursa picks up the heap of metal that was once Bone Crusher and hits the Sandworm with it. The Decepticon cracks open leaving its disrupted spark out on the sands. Mary Embery picks it up and flies into the mouth of the worm. She throws what is left of Bone Crusher deep into the worm and then attempts to get out but is trapped inside and digested. Moments later the spark erupts inside the stomach of Sandworm #7 which kills him. More worms begin to resurface and Ursa and The Leprechaun resume their attack. Walker faces off against Agent-X in fight that consists of some super gnarly martial arts moves until Hawkman & Hawkwoman fly in to help Agent-X. Agent-X gets a hold of Walker for just long enough for the Hawk couple to bludgeon him to death with their maces. While Gen. Popeil is busy giving orders The Scorpion King runs toward him to attack. Marine #2 knows that one hit from this brute will kill their invention genius so even though he knows he has 9 FFL deaths he jumps in front of his beloved general to take the hit for him. The other 11 marines open fire on The Scorpion King and Shatterstar lends them some melee help to kill off the “Rock” hard Scorpion King, but he does manage to take out Marines #3 & 13 as well. When the next Sandworm pops out Ursa and The Leprechaun both attack once more but with no Transformers to use as weapons or help from Mary Embery the Sandworm devours The Leprechaun first and then even the mighty Kryptonian woman known as Ursa succumbs to the mighty belly of the maker. As the massive worms of Dune wildly move along the upset landscape of Arrakis Paul Maud Dib reaches into his Frem Kit and pulls out a thumper of his own. Paul tries to get his 3 loyal Atreides guards to follow him as he climbs on to the back of Sandworm #10 but not one of them makes it. Once atop the massive worm Usul as he is known by the Fremen in his sietch pulls out a set of maker hooks and begins controlling the Sandworm’s direction. He whispers his apologies to the holy worm in between his uttering of the Bene Gesserit Litany of Fear as he directs Sandworm #10 with its massive mouth full of would-be crysknives right into the side of Sandworm #8, ripping into the beasts and causing such a tumultuous crash that it mortally wounds both the worms. As a broken and bruised Paul lay in the sand he smiles to himself knowing that he just accomplished a miraculous feat but when he sees the massive Sandworm #1 coming down on top of him his smile gets even bigger due to the fact that he always knew that even the powerful and worshipped Maud Dib cannot stop Shai Halud from ruling the desert.
BROCK SAMPSON’S FIGHTING MURDERFLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!

3 comments:

Lickolas said...

Great match dude!

5:20am though, you are a mad man.

Lickolas said...

A singing Leprechaun and General Popeil, I only have three words for you.

BEST. MATCH. EVER.

Ryan said...

No love for Scarlet Witch. Shame.