TEAM vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

TEAM: Kryptonian Kal El & Thunder god Thor’s “We Really Like Wearing Spandex” Throng of Adequacy is Superman, Comet, Streaks, Thor, Thunderstrike, Ragnarok (the Thor Clone), God Emperor Leto II, Evil Paul Atreides Ghola, Duncan Idaho Ghola #3, Bashar Miles Teg Ghola, Duke Leto Atreides, Voltron, Set, The Road Runner, Wil-E-Coyote & Baby Wolverine in a Land Speeder, Galvatron, Iron Hide, (movie) Iron Hide, Nyobi, Bloodwind, Freddy Kruegar, & Leader One.

Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos is Luna Lovegood, Dr. Fate, Ginny Weasaly, Bashar Miles Teg, Paul Atreides Ghola, The Herculoids: Zandar, Tarra, Dorno, Zok, Igoo, Tundro, Gloop, & Gleep, Judah Ben Hur, Willow Rosenburg, Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Paralax, Black Adam, Bizarro Superman, Rodimus Prime, Qui Gon Jinn, Azeem, Saladin, Ardeth Bay & Ahmed Best in a Land Speeder, Kaja Sinis, Ben Kenobi, (movie) Blackout, Maxima, Ms. Marvel, Mary Marvel, Dr. Grant on a 4-Wheeler, & Bryan Beckerman in an Exo-Suit.


The newly formed Thor Corps, along with Superman land on the sandy dunes of Arrakis to rendezvous with the rest of their TEAM; already assembled with their unofficial Desert leader God Emperor Leto II. “I look forward to quickly dispatching this team, much as my last team did when we met them in the water”. Thor says arrogantly to anyone who will listen. Superman replies to this statement with “The team we are about to face is undefeated, we have no reason to take them lightly and I see no reason for your apparent arrogance”. Thunderstrike chimes in with “Everyone knows that the N.L. is weak” Superman looks at his 3 Norse TEAMmates and says “there is no proof of that, and furthermore there is no reason to talk about. We have a job to do, now lets go do it”. “Ahh is our Kryptonian leader scared of what lies ahead, or perhaps you are simply scared that you are no longer the most powerful member of our said TEAM”. Thor says to Superman. “We met last year Thor, back when you were on The Slaves and I think we both remember how that turned out. So you need not play up your power in front of your new friends”. Replies Superman. The God Emperor uses a hint of his Bene Gesserit voice powers to bellow out to his bickering TEAMmates saying “enough of this, it is time for TEAM to act like its name and water the sacred Dunes with the blood of The Commandos”. With that being said the holy emperor of the known Universe speeds off on top of the Dunes with his massive body exposed to the arid air of the planet he calls home. The other members of TEAM take off behind Leto II into the distance where they can see The Commandos preparing for a charge of their own. Dumbledore and Rodimus Prime have taken control of the team for the time being. Despite the fact that Rodimus Prime has the Autobot Matrix of leadership within his chest; he realizes that he is still a rookie to this league and that this Dumbledore guy really seems to know what he is talking about, so the Autobot leader doesn’t seem to mind taking a back seat to him for the time being. Rodimus lifts the wizard up in his right hand to elevate him for his speech to the troops but not everyone of the Commandos is quite as anxious to listen to him. “We will need to fight hard and to give everything we have but we should be cautious. TEAM is not to be taken lightly”. Black Adam yells for everyone to hear “Get over it old man, you’re busy living in last year. TEAM doesn’t even have that kind of power any more. We’ve all read the stats. This is our year”. Qui Gon adds “It is of no use talking about it on the battlefield. I sense them approaching and I don’t need the force to know that we will find out soon enough which one of you is right”. The God Emperor is only a couple hundred yards away when he decides to stop in his tracks. The rest of TEAM believes that he is simply letting them catch up but once they reach him he orders them to hold back. They soon see why as the angered serpent Set pops out of the ground as if to taunt the Commandos into choosing what they should attack first. Dumbledore looks at Black Adam and says “Well Adam, prove me wrong”. Black Adam then nods to Mary Marvel; who along with Ms. Marvel, & Maxima fly off to do battle with the once 7 headed but now only 3 headed monster. Once The God Emperor sees that the Commandos will not be sending their entire team over to battle with Set he allows his attack to continue. Leto II along with the 5 Voltron Lions, the 2 Iron Hides, & Wil-E-Coyote in his Land Speeder with Baby Wolverine riding Shotgun are the first to arrive in the area where the Commandos are hold out. The 2 Iron Hides begin battling with Blackout but the Decepticon doesn’t like the 2 on 1 odds so he transforms and takes to the air to fight elsewhere. Ardeth Bay is driving the Land Speeder thru the Dunes with Ahmed Best in the passenger seat when he notices that they are being chased by a similar land speeder. It does not take them long to notice that despite the significant amount of distance between the 2 speeders Wil-E-Coyote’s speeder is gaining ground on them quickly. “What is that, 1 of those new XP-38’s that all the dorks at the Comic-Cons are always talking about” Best says to a puzzled Ardeth. But the reality is that Wil-E has outfitted the land speeder with a huge rocket which is propelling them at an amazing rate of speed. They catch up quickly when Wil-E-Coyote realizes that although his Acme rocket is doing the job, that the brakes on the land speeder aren’t working. They crash into the back of the other speeder throwing all 4 of the combatant onto the sand. Once he is on his feet Wil-E-Coyote fires a smaller rocket at the head of Ahmed Best which turns his dome into icky yucky goo. Ardeth in retaliation comes at the coyote with his sword and cuts off his head. Ardeth seems triumphant but this entire time while he was driving he never noticed that there was another tiny person in the speeder. Baby Wolverine, being the best at what he does (compared to other babies of course) uses this to his advantage as he jumps claws first into the chest of Ardeth to kill him. Zandar leads his team of Herculoids and Bryan Beckerman in an Exo-Suit against the Voltron Lions. They dance around the sands for a while without touching each other in that strange way that only 80’s cartoon characters can fight Becks turns to Zandar as they are shooting their lasers and lava rocks at the metal lions and says: “These guys have some pretty thick skin, and I ain’t Lion. Get it Lie-in”….. But Zandar doesn’t get it. The Lions then form together to make Voltron which prompts Becks to turn to Tarra and say nothing because he was to busy staring at her breasts, but he does say to Dorno as he points to his Exo-Suit “crap, I thought only the lawyers could transform in this universe”. Which of course is not even remotely funny but Dorno laughs so hard that he doesn’t even notice Voltron’s sword cutting both him and Beckerman in half. Blackout, still in his helicopter form swings back around to help out The Herculoids but he is blown out of the air by Leader One’s missiles before he can attack Voltron. A furious Zandar, due to the loss of his son begins shouting orders to The Herculoids to attack Voltron while Tarra is busy being completely useless. Gloop begins bouncing off of Voltron’s metal body and Gleep wraps around Voltron’s legs to trip him. The 2 protoplasms then both try to bounce onto Voltron once again but Voltron opens up his hand/laser lion mouth and vaporizes both Gloop and Gleep. Voltron gets back up to evade Zok’s lazer tail attack when Tundro and Igoo both run in to attack. Voltron brings his sword down onto the back of Tundro slicing thru the thick skin of the creature while he is stepping on Tarra. Zandar and Igoo both rush in toward Voltron. Voltron crushes Zandar with his fist but Igoo punches Voltron in the chest knocking him to the ground. Igoo then uses his incredible strength to pound on the chest of the fallen Voltron until he is nearly destroyed. When the giant rock Ape gets ups Zok flies by and gives Voltron a triple laser shot from his eyes and tail to finish the GoLion off. Paralax flies in toward the battle but Galvatron transforms into his cannon mode and blasts the yellow energy being completely apart before he makes his way to his arch-nemesis Rodimus to so battle. Dr. Grant is blazing a trail on his 4-wheeler when The God Emperor decides to make his presence known. The man in a worm’s body easily crushes both Grant and his 4-wheeler. Willow Rosenburg and Luna Lovegood try to conjure up some spells to stop the rampaging Shai Halud incarnate but they are consumed by his sheer might as well. Even kaja Sinis, with his great gift of the force is no match for such a power. Sinis evades for a short time and attempts to get in close with his lightsaber, knowing that he is disadvantaged from a strength perspective but in this environment he is even outmatched when it comes to maneuverability. The God Emperor simply dives below the sand and then pops back out to consume the first ever Jedi Master. Bloodwind flies in to where Ginny Weasaly and Dr. Fate are standing back to back to protect each other from the carnage that surrounds them. The 2 magic users try a variety of spells on the disguised Martian but they all simply slow Bloodwind down instead of stopping him. Dr. Fate flies into the air try his attack from a different angle but Bloodwind flies up to meet him with an uppercut which knocks Fate down to the ground and sends his helmet off into the distance. Bloodwind then comes down hard onto Fate’s head with his foot to finish him off. Bloodwind then starts to move against Ginny but in a last ditch effort she conjures up a simple fire spell which seems to completely debilitate her opponent.. When she notices the effect that this has on him she works up as much fire as she can with her wand and sends it sailing in Bloodwind’s direction to take him out. Superman is finally done arguing with Thor (for the moment). So he, along with his super pets Streaks and Comet fly over the enemy lines to where it appears that a counter ground offensive is being laid out by the great military genius Bashar Miles Teg. The Bashar has hand chosen who he feels are the best people to lead his desert ground assault, but Superman, his Super Cat, and his Super Horse all simply land directly on their targets to take out The Bashar, Paul Atreides’ Ghola, and Judah Ben Hur; before the attack can even take place. Dumbledore and Harry Potter are actually smiling like they are back at Hogwarts together as they use a combination of spells to take out The Road Runner and then Nyobi before she can rock them with any of her patented Kung-Fu moves. (movie) Iron Hide actually goes down pretty easily as well when matched up against the 2 powerful wizards, but it is a little bit different as the New Thor Corps lands in front of them. Thor fights thru the magic of the two spell-casters and then knocks them down with a double close line that is reminiscent of Saturday morning wrestling. Once down on the ground Thunderstrike and Ragnarok both jump in with their hammers at the ready to cave in the skulls of the 2 worthy opponents. On the other side of the dunes the battle with Set rages on. Mary Marvel attempts to fly underneath one of Set’s remaining 3 heads but the giant serpent simply snatches her out of the air and swallows her whole, retaining her power as his own. Maxima and Ms. Marvel (or as they say about themselves in the locker room: Straight chicks doing straight things) fly over toward one of Set’s heads. Maxima blasts it with her eye beams to distract it while Ms. Marvel flies up underneath and begins pounding on the serpent head with all of her might. When this doesn’t work Maxima flies down to the other side of the head and begins pushing on the neck from the opposite direction. With the 2 of them pushing on either side they manage to cave in the neck and pop off Set’s head, leaving him with only 2. The 2 gal pals quickly fly over to Black Adam to assist him with the head he is working on. Black Adam is fiercely pounding on the mystical creature but it does not seem to get the job done. Maxima & Ms. Marvel fly in to begin their same regiment but Ms. Marvel gets caught in the Jaws of Set and consumed within a matter of seconds. A furious Maxima unleashes all of her cosmic power into the head that Black Adam has been beating on and leaves nothing but a burnt stump in its place. With this move it leaves Set with only one remaining head. Black Adam focuses all his energy as he screams “SHAZAM” causing a storm of lightning to come crashing into both the mid-section and remaining head of Set to completely destroy the Atlantean creature. Galvatron and Rodimus Prime are beating on each other’s metal bodies unmercifully when Rodimus kicks Galvatron in the chest and down onto the sand. Rodimus then tries to jump on top of Galvatron to gain the upper hand in the fight and finish him off but just before Rodimus can finish the attack Galvatron gets his arm cannon up and blasts him out of the air. Rodimus tries to shake off the attack but by the time he begins to pull himself together Galvatron has transformed into his cannon mode. With one more well placed blast Galvatron blows Rodimus and the matrix to pieces. Duke Leto Atreides and Duncan Idaho have deliberately separated themselves from the ghola referring to himself as Paulo. Because although he may look like the Paul Atreides that they both loved and respected, he is entirely different. The Red Duke and his Swordmaster both rush in toward the small group being led by Saladin: of Qui Gon, Ben Kenobi, & Azeem. Leto shoots Saladin between the eyes with his hidden wrist mounted poison dart gun while Duncan begins sword fighting with Azeem. Qui Gon and his reunited former padawan Kenobi ignite their lightsabers and make short work of Leto. Duncan knocks Azeem to the ground and is about to deliver a killing blow when he is sidetracked by the 2 Jedi. Duncan Idaho, as skilled as he may be, not to mention fueled by rage after once again not being able to stop the death of his Duke is no match for the 2 Jedi plus Azeem. Idaho dodges the initial swing of Qui Gon’s green lightsaber but is shortly thereafter killed by Obi Wan’s blue one. There is no rest for the 3 fighters, as Paulo jumps out of nowhere with his crysknife in hand. The failed Kwisatz Haderach uses the element of surprise to stab Ben Kenobi in the back of the neck. “Noooooo” Qui Gon screams as he and Azeem quickly dispatch the Tlielaxlu creation. Bizarro Superman lands in front of a very eager Freddy Kruegar. Freddy swings his claws swiftly at Bizarro but Bizarro simply blows on Freddy with his heat breath to further burn the villain and send him backward. This angers Freddy who charges back at Bizarro but it is no use as Bizarro simply grabs a hold of Freddy and rips him apart. Bashar Miles Teg Ghola races in at speeds that can not even be deciphered by the human eye. Qui Gon is able to keep up for a second but his force powers are exhausted just by simply watching the Bashar’s ghola. Miles Teg simply grabs a hold of Qui Gon to vibrate him to death while Azeem is busy getting run over by Iron Hide. Ginny Weasaly, Black Adam, Bizarro, Maxima, & The remaining 2 Herculoids all regroup to find that they are outnumbered by a decent amount but they are in no way ready to give up when they have that amount of combined power. Maxima flies up to fight with Superman and his pets. She grabs a hold of Streaks and rips the Super Cat’s head clean off. This was a great plan; that is if her intention was to piss off Superman which is exactly what that move prompted. If it were to be put in school terms they would say that Maxima pulling off Streaks head was the cause, and Superman pulling off Maxima’s head was the effect. It is no doubt that the Thor Corps has a fairly unhealthy resentment of Superman which can in no way be a good thing for TEAM if they can’t get over it somewhat quickly but at the moment it seems to be O.K. since they are taking out that aggression on Bizarro. Bizarro grabs a hold of Thunderstrike and begins choking him. He has such a grip on the younger version of Thor that he probably would have been able to finish him off had Ragnarok and Thor not pulled him off. Once released Thunderstrike is the first of the 3 to throw his Odin empowered Hammer at Bizarro Superman which breaks his rock like body into dozens of pieces. Black Adam is about to try his hand at Superman, which is something he has been looking forward to for a long time when The Bashar Miles Teg Ghola runs up and tackles him. Black Adam has a strength that is superior to Teg’s but when the ghola grabs a hold of him and starts moving his body’s molecules at a faster and faster rate even Black Adam cannot seem to get away from it. Miles Teg so exerts himself that he is to far gone to recover. He actually vibrates his body so severely that it deteriorates both the cells of his body and of the mighty Black Adam’s until they are both unrecognizable lumps of flesh. Ginny Weasaly feels she is ready for any challenge as she grips her wand tightly in anticipation of the oncoming battle but her magic is no match for the combined fire power of 3 huge robots. Ginny’s body cannot even be found in the blowing sands after Iron Hide, Galvatron, & Leader One blow her to bits. Superman and Comet meet up with the Thor Corps in the air and make short work of the lone flyer left on the Commandos: Zok. The alien dragon tries to blast them with his lasers but it is of no avail as the 5 super-powered beings rip the poor beast apart in mid-air. Igoo stands alone on the sands with his rock hard body to protect him against any of the planets elements but his hardened exterior proves to be not enough to protect him against the God Emperor, as Leto II throws his worm body into the air and crashes down on top of the Ape to kill him in an instant.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!