The Syracuse Valley Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

The Syracuse Valley is Soundwave w/ Overkill, Slugfest, Squawk Talk, Beast Box, & (movie) Frenzy, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, Navy Sailor #60-71, Alien Xenomorph #85-90, Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello, & Casey Jones, Zit, Rash, & Pimple, Hammer Bros. #1 & 2, & Little Goomba #2 & 3.

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Hellboy, Kyle Rayner, Hydroman, Jedi Master #20, Starro, Lobo the Duck, Ron Popeil, Doc Brown, Aunt May, Guy Gardner, G’Nort, The Groovy Gang: Ted, Val, Patty, Sonny, & Groovy, & Marines #1-24.


Ron Popeil, along with his new brother from another mother Doc Brown have devised what they call The Ronco Aquatic, gas-propelled, free-floating, open-air, water transport carTM for exclusive use by The Murderflies (maybe I’m missing something, but it looks an awful lot like a big pontoon boat to me). While The Syracuse Valley’s plethora of Decepticons patrol the air the rest of the team are attempting to swim up behind the Ronco transport. The entire Murderfly team is on top of the overloaded Ronco transport except for Hydroman and Starro who are in the water where they feel most comfortable. Soundwave flies over top of the Murderfly transport and ejects Overkill, Slugfest, Squawk Talk, Beast Box, and Frenzy, he drops the 2 goombas onto the platform as well. Aunt May hits Goomba #3 with her umbrella to kill it, but Goomba #2 touches her, so she dies. Groovy the dog then jumps on to Aunt May to avenge his unlikely teammate. While Soundwave’s tapes keep the Murderflies busy The Syracuse Valley begins their sea attack. The 12 Navy Sailors are the unlucky first wave as the skilled swimmers attempt to make their way from the water onto the Ronco transport. The Sailors move fast but The Murderflies 24 Marines led by the battle-hardened 9 death Murderfly FO-Life FFL veteran Marine #1 (Buck) un-sling their M-16’s and mow down the Navy Men before most of them even get out of the water and begin to attack. Only Marine #6 dies in this first wave with all 12 Navy Sailors falling victim to the defensive posture of The Murderflies. Megatron and Starscream fly by at incredible speeds attempting strafing runs on the water bound Starro and Hydro-Man with Megatron screaming in his electronic voice “All will die under the might of Megatron”! Meanwhile Doc Brown hears this and turns to Ron Popeil and to say “Is all the time traveling screwing up my memory”? “I don’t know, why do you ask” Ron answers. “Oh it’s nothing, I just could of swore that we fought Megatron last week”. As Doc Brown then yells “Great Scott” and ducks out of the way The tough as nails FFL All-Star Ron Popeil just shrugs his shoulders and gives that famous Popeil smile that makes everybody want to go out and spend $59.92 on an Electronic Food Dehydrator all over again despite the fact that he has laser blasts and conventional bullets whizzing by his head (war is hell). The Murderflies 3 green lanterns feel that the marines have the boat (excuse me, Ronco Transport) situation under control which is why they take to the air to do battle with The larger Decepticons. Jedi Master #20 is dueling it up with Frenzy while Hellboy is taking aim at the newly formed mini-gestalt of Squawkbox. Lobo the Duck is in the middle of an awkward looking fight with the tape turned Stegosaurus Overkill while Slugfest is pretending he is a real Dinosaur by snacking on Groovy. Everything seems to be as normal as one could possibly expect when The Syracuse Valley’s second wave shows up in 2 groups, one on each side of the transport. This wave is a little bit more effective considering that it consists of the 6 Aliens who have no problem jumping on to the side of the transport despite the oncoming fire from the marines. On the other side the 3 Ninja Turtles are climbing aboard. Casey Jones is supposed to be with them but it isn’t easy to swim in the ocean current with 2 hockey sticks a 3 wood and Louisville Slugger strapped to your back; especially when you are wearing a goalie mask. The Xenomorphs begin ripping thru the ranks of the Marines despite taking on heavy fire from the brave jar heads. Ted lets Patty out of her cage to help in defending the transport but she is quickly trampled to death by Alien #86. Zit, Rash, & Pimple make their way on to the transport and help the water-logged Casey Jones on as well. While Hammer Bros. #1 & 2 climb up over the motor (Oh, come on don’t tell me you forgot about the Hammer Bros.). The Xenomorph’s manage to take out half of the Marines while Hellboy, who just finished off Squawkbox and is now doing battle in what is many an indie-comic geek’s dream with Raphael and Casey Jones. Casey Jones says something not so profound in his stupid Brooklyn accent while he simultaneously and thoroughly pisses off Hellboy by slap shotting The Good Samaritan into the ocean. Hellboy then uses his right hand of doom to show everyone around why the NHL no longer uses those old-fashioned goalie masks as he crushes it along with Casey Jones’ head. Hammer Bros. #1 & 2 tag team Marine #14 by clubbing him to death with digital hammers but his buds Marines #15 & 16 pump the hammer bros. full of hollow points. Sonny yells to Ted “Hey Ted Groovy says we’ve got to help these army guys kill the aliens”. Val replies for Ted with “Groovy’s dead you idiot”. Sonny looks at her and says “Oh, so it was O.K. that I was getting my ideas from a dog, but now that I’m talking to a dead dog, I’m stupid”. The marines, despite their depleted ranks have taken out Aliens #85, 86, 88, & 90. What’s left of The Groovy Gang moves as a unit in an attempt to find out the mystery of the giant toads but instead of getting to the bottom of the mystery they find the bottom of the Battletoads feet, as Zit and Rash boot Val and Sonny in the heads with their giant amphibian feet and Pimple smashes Ted and the already dead Patty’s head’s together, proving that just because you are a serial killer, doesn’t mean you can fight. Donatello and Michelangelo each take out 2 marines while Xenomorph #89 dies in the process of killing one more. Then Soundwave’s 2 tapes that first appeared and partnered up long after any person who has ever seen a vagina stopped watching The Transformers cartoon, Overkill and Slugfest are re-united (cause it feels so good) in their epic battle against Lobo the Duck. The 2 robotic dinosaurs engage in a fierce fight with Ol’ Duckbo despite the fact that if you listen to Wikipedia Lobo the Duck is damn near impossible to defeat. The Main Duck uses his chain to smash Overkill to pieces but in the end Slugfest gets on the back of Lobo the Duck and bites his head off. I don’t remember if I mentioned that Jedi Master #20 came out on top of his fight with Frenzy, so if I didn’t: SURPRISE! Jedi Master #20 came out on top in his fight against Frenzy. Hellboy and Jedi Master #20 team up to put a stop to the rampaging Slugfest with a lightsaber/ Right Hand of Doom combo but The Ninja Turtles and Battletoads put the smack down on 4 of the last 5 marines. Hellboy, Jedi Master #20, and Marine #1 see that The Murderflies are not going to be able to hold on to their transport much longer which is why The Jedi Master in his wisdom yells back to their unofficial team leader “Admiral Popeil, you and Doc Brown are to important. Get out of here, we’ll handle this”. Popeil and Brown despite their tireless bravery know that you don’t argue with a Jedi Master so they run to the back of the transport and jump on to the 2 Ronco motorized single person water transport escape modulesTM (again, I could be off here but they just look like Jet-skis to me). Ron Popeil is successful in his escape but unfortunately for his partner in crime Doc Brown; Raphael thru his sai into the back of his head and killed him right before he got on the escape module. Marine #1 throws down his empty M-16 and pulls out his Beretta 92, ready to make his stand. “Semper Fi Murderflies” he yells as he jumps into the battle sticking his gun into the mouth of Xenomorph #87 (the last one) and blowing his head apart. Despite the deadly spray of concentrated acid all over his body, the dedicated Brock Samsonite fights on as he pulls out his grenade and bear hugs Pimple the Battletoad taking the much larger opponent out with him. On the transport The Ninja Turtles minus Leonardo Square off against the un-armed Hellboy while the 2 remaining Battletoads do battle with Jedi Master #20. But at this point we should perhaps visit the other part of the battle where some of the major competitors are fighting. The 3 green lanterns tripled teamed a tapeless Soundwave resulting in the somewhat easy destruction of the Decepticon Communications Officer. Starscream on the other hand has been continually blasting Hydro-Man with artillery fire, having little affect on him; while Megatron has transformed into his robot form to do battle with Starro. Megatron seems to have the upper hand against the alien when Kyle Rayner flies in to help Starro. Starro also establishes a mental link with his teammate Hydro-Man and orders him to glide toward their area so the Murderflies can put a stop to Megatron once and for all. Once Starscream sees this transpire he realizes that this could be the perfect opportunity for him to make his dreams come true. His attacks have done virtually nothing to any of the opponents that he has faced thus far but this time when he swings back around for his strafing run he locks on to the strongest power source knowing full well that that will be Megatron’s spark. He targets the weakened Decepticon leader with every missile he has left which not only blows up his teammate/rival but also sets off an explosion of Cybertronian proportions that completely destroys Starro, kills Rayner, and disintegrates Hydro-Man. G’Nort sees this bit of mass-destruction and begins to fly over and to engage Starscream in battle, but he is not fast enough to beat the furious Guy Gardner to the punch. Starscream at first successfully evades the attacks from the smaller opponent but Guy Gardner manages to get behind the robot in F-22 form and with a giant paint brush made out of green energy (in honor of his fallen bro Rayner) he blasts right thru the short-lived Decepticon leader. Hellboy and Jedi Master #20 attack at the same time in a vain attempt to regain control of their Ronco Ocean Transport. Jedi Master #20 slices thru the neck of Rash but while in mid lightsaber swing Zit clenches his hands together and brings them down on the Jedi’s neck snapping it. Raphael manages to lose his other Sai when Hellboy kicks it out of his hand and then brings down the hand of doom on Donatello’s dome to kill him. Michelangelo is kicked in the chest and almost knocked off the transport when Zit picks up Jedi Master #20’s green bladed lightsaber and throws it to Raphael. The freshly armed Ninja Turtle ignites the lightsaber and sticks it into the chest of Hellboy, killing him instantly. The remaining members of The Syracuse Valley: Raphael, Michelangelo, and Zit, who now have complete control of the Ronco Transport rush over to the controls to see how they can use the infamous Ronco technology to destroy the remaining members of the Murderflies. Michelangelo turns to Raphael and Zit and says “with this transport, we are now the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it”. A frightened Guy Gardner and G’Nort regroup with each other in the air, unsure of what lies in store for the last few members of The Murderflies, knowing that this unstoppable vehicle is now in the hand of their enemies. “How could we let this happen” Gardner says to G’Nort. G’Nort replies with “Usa thinking wesa people gonna die”. Just then, at that moment when all hope for Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies was lost…………………….. Ron Popeil pulls a remote control out of his pocket, and presses the self-destruct button for his Patented Ronco Aquatic transport as he says under his breath “it was just a boat”.
BROCK SAMPSON’S FIGHTING MURDERFLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!