Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. TEAM

Le’ Napoleon Brigade is Jaws, Penguin, The Lochness Monster, The Sando Aqua Monster, Skyfire, Maverick & Goose in a Stealth Bomber, Gandalf the Gray, Princess Leia (Jedi), Obi Wan Kenobi, Powergirl, Glinda the Good Witch, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Alan Scott, Arwen Evenstar, Silver Dragon #1 & 2, Namora, & Namorita.

TEAM is Max Ray, Jack Lalane, Godzilla, Zilla, Phibian #1-10, Sharkticon #47-50, Seaspray, N.S.-5 #23-26, & Underdog.


This is quite a different setting than when these teams last met in The Universe Bowl but it does not change the fact that these 2 teams have a significant amount of talent on them. As both teams are dropped into the water Alan Scott Creates a breathing apparatus for himself out of green energy and follows both Namora & Namorita down into the murky depths. Alan Scott & Namora hang back while Namorita uses her genetically enhanced abilities to see thru the murky dark water of the ocean depths. Namorita catches a glimpse of the 4 N.S.-5’s who just jumped into the water off of Seaspray and she instantly swims up toward them with her 2 accomplices following close behind. The 4 robots feel very comfortable in the water but once they are encountered by the 2 Atlanteans their dense alloy is no match for the peaked, water-fueled strength of both Namora & Namorita who easily rip the 4 robots apart. Alan Scott, who up until this point has done nothing but cheer on his fellow brigade members is the first of the 3 to take flight above Seaspray. Namora and Namorita begin pounding on the metal hull of the water Autobot but none of the attacks do any permanent form of damage until Alan Scott uses his ring to blast a blade of green energy thru the Transformer splitting him in 2. Whether The Sando Aqua Monster is driven by a sense of imminent threat or simply an opportunity for the biggest meal of all time is unknown but the huge Naboo native wastes no time pulling Zilla under the water where the 2 of them engage in a battle that the filmmakers of Japan really should see, just so they would know what an entertaining giant monster fight actually looks like. This fight is going to last a while so we will go to the skies where even though it is bugging him Maverick is being the perfect wingman to Skyfire. The 2 jets are flying around the body of Godzilla who is swinging his fists around wildly in an attempt to knock the bomber or the Transformer out of the air. Even when Godzilla uses his fire breath to attack, Skyfire and the excellently piloted Stealth Bomber continue to evade anything the giant monster throws at them. Skyfire goes in low to distract Godzilla but as he shoots the atomic breath at him Maverick finishes the plan yelling “NOW” to Goose who targets a nuke right into the throat of the huge monster. It is not until the 2 planes are flying away that the nuke goes off in Godzilla’s stomach sending the monster flopping down on his face. “Maverick, you can be my wing man any time” says the flying Autobot but Maverick replies with “No Skyfire, you can be mine”. The Phibians swim down low and lure both Jaws and Nessie down where their friends in the air can’t help them. The 10 fierce Phibians swim quickly toward the 2 mammoth beasts with their spears drawn. A melee than ensues which not only involves the Phibians fighting the 2 Brigade animals but also Jaws and Nessie fighting with each other. Phibians #3 & 8 are killed by The Lochness Monster while Phibian #6 grabs a hold of its neck and tries to slit it open. The Great White Shark we like to call Jaws then with one single bite takes out Phibians #1, 4, & 10. But #5, 7, & 9 all repeatedly stick the shark with their spears. Nessie knocks Phibian #6 looses with his tail and then finishes him off but is then attracted to Jaws as the real meal deal, due to all of the blood the shark is losing on account of the stab wounds of the Phibians. The Phibians plan of making the 2 animals fight amongst each other worked famously except it was not good enough to allow for them to escape. When Nessie moves toward Jaws for the glorious feast he goes right to the source of the blood, crushing Phibian #7 between the 2 huge bodies and biting the legs out from under Phibians# 5 & 9. Phibian #2, the last of the survivors is caught in the huge jaw of Jaws as the Great White Shark in a mix of both hunger and retaliation bites down on the neck of The Lochness Monster making him extinct once more. Zilla and The Sando Aqua Monster viciously pound on each other while they both give out the exact same scream. Zilla manages to wrap its tail around his opponent and then claws out Sando’s left eye but it is the true water beast that comes out on top as The dweller of the planet core gets its large but dexterous hands around the neck of Zilla and strangles the life out of the monster. Skyfire does another loop around the Brigade dominated air and opens up his rear hatch to let out Penguin who has been chilling inside him all of this time. Penguin has no problem staying airborne with his spinning helicopter umbrella but he is instantly killed as Underdog bursts thru his obese stomach like a giant furry bullet. Gandalf and Arwen are perched atop Silver Dragon #1 while they are flanked by Glinda on top of Silver Dragon #2. Arwen uses her mystical Elvish powers to temporarily part the water while Glinda encases the 2 close flying dragons with a protective pink casing as the dragons reluctantly dive head first into the water area being dominated by the 4 Sharkticons. The dry, magically protected mouths of the dragons shoot fire at the water dwelling Transformers but it has little affect on The Sharkticons. Gandalf focuses all of his power on Sharkticon #47 to completely obliterate him but eventually the attacks of the remaining Sharkticons bust thru the barrier created by Glinda leaving the oxygenites exposed to the dangers of the water around them. With Glamdring and Hadafang drawn along with the fierce teeth of the 2 Silver Dragons the 5 of them do amazingly manage to take out 1 more Sharkticon (#50) but eventually the fact that they have significantly more power than their opponents was not enough for them when they are attempting to fight in a setting that so favors the Sharkticons. Max Ray in his highly advanced water suit is patrolling the depths of the ocean looking for any form of enemy to attack. Powergirl uses her X-Ray vision to spot him far below the water. Powergirl has no desire to dive into a setting that is not her specialty alone so she decides to go total women’s lib on The Centurion water expert and enlists Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, and Princess Leia to join her in her attack. Power Girl flies down into the water to pick up Leia and then goes back into the air along with Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl. The 4 of them scream “Men Suck”! as they plunge into the water toward a well-prepared Max Ray. It is safe to say that on land any one of these 4 women could dispatch this scientist turned adventurer but in these depths he moves with an amazing level of grace. The 4 women separate and surround him but Max Ray points his “power extreme” machine at Wonder Girl and blasts her with his Hydro Missile killing the Teen Titan. Leia force pushes Max which sends him along with some substantial wave push tumbling thru the water but Max recovers and blasts Leia with his laser cannon while she is trying to get back to the surface for air. Power Girl and Wonder Woman at this point have about had it with this dude so they both swim in close to him. The enraged Super-heroines surround him and both go in for a punch and nearly both break each other’s hands as their knuckles hit each other with the mush that was once Max Ray’s head barely putting up any resistance. Obi Wan will never forget being repeatedly scolded by his former master Qui Gonn for allowing his lightsaber to become wet and useless which is why he has done little more than swim with one hand in the air to keep his weapon dry for the entire match. Jack Lalane sees this as an opportunity so he dives below the water and uses the handcuffs around his own hands to wrap around Obi Wan’s feet and pull him under water (as any Lalane fan knows, Jack only swims with both his hands and feet handcuffed). The 2 of them then struggle with each other under water as Obi Wan thinks to himself repeatedly “How the hell can this old guy stay underwater so long”. Obi Wan then resurfaces for a second to catch his breath and then goes back underwater. Even though he cannot use his lightsaber until it dries off Obi Wan is still after all a Jedi. Master Kenobi with a series of force pushes, pushes the Juice Tiger inventor deeper and deeper into the water proving that Jack Lalane is after all human by drowning the 90 year old. Maverick and Goose, now being followed by Skyfire regroup in the air with Power Girl and Wonder Woman While Namora, Namorita, and Alan Scott regroup with each other in the water. Skyfire assures Power Girl and Wonder Woman that the air situation is more than under control and that if they can be of any use in the water to go ahead during which Maverick does some fancy and somewhat unnecessary moves to get behind Underdog while Goose targets him out of the air. Namora and Namorita work together to bust apart Sharkticon #48 while Alan Scott wraps Sharkticon #49 in a ball of green energy and then throws the Transformer out of the water and into the air. Once in the air Power Girl punches the head of the Sharkticon off to finalize a good bit of retribution for her new teammates.
LE’ NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!

1 comment:

Ryan said...

Not even close. Damn Julie you ripped Ed a new one. Nicely done.