Monday, June 1, 2009

Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. TEAM

Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s Beeyatches are Star Wolf in an Arwing, War Skrull #6 & R2-KT in an X-Wing, Darth Vader in a Tie Bomber, Orion in an F-22, Holocaust & Tasha in a Tank, Wolverine in The Fire Stingray, Magog in an Ornithopter, Red Hulk, Doomsday, Dark Phoenix, & Vehicle Voltron.

TEAM is Superman, Unicron, Set, Thor, God Emperor Leto II, Voltron, Luke Skywalker & R2-D2 in an X-Wing, Jengo Fett and Young Boba Fett in Slave 1, Lando Calrissean, Nien Numb, & C-3P0 in The Millennium Falcon, & Ryan Poteracki in a Hovercraft.


A good portion of TEAM’s forces begin the battle, already in space. Set is set up in the city while Ryan is hovering in the water and Leto has made an empire for himself in the sands. Other than that, the rest of TEAM is hanging back with Unicron above the planet, waiting for their opponents to come to them. Vader assembles his squadron which he plans to lead into space directly against TEAM’s space threat. Vader’s takes the lead in his Tie Bomber while Star Wolf and the other Star Wolf (War Skrull #6) fly behind him. Orion is with them as well. Although an F-22 is not usually a space worthy vessel, with Orion behind the controls using the Astro-Harness, it makes the F-22 more than space capable. Dark Phoenix follows Vader’s lead into space as well with a certain level of excitement for the coming battle, and so does The Voltron from the Near Universe. With Set and The God Emperor on 2 different settings, it makes it near impossible for them to help each other which is why Tasha decides that her land squad will move against The God Emperor first. Under Gen. Tasha’s orders Magog flies in above the desert landscape in his Ornithopter to work as a diversion. He then jumps out of the bird like flying contraption and allows it to crash. This attracts the attention of Leto who comes racing in toward the crash with hopes to take advantage of the situation. But as The Tyrant rears up his worm body Red Hulk & Doomsday, along with Magog jump out and attack. The God Emperor may be huge and powerful but he is overwhelmed by the strength and power of the 3 of them. Wolverine has been given the opportunity to execute a mission which is the dream of anybody on The Backyardigan Squad: Kill Ryan Poteracki. Wolverine rips thru the grasslands going upwards of 400 miles an hour in The Fire Stingray and then rips right over the water ripping the top off the Hovercraft and killing Ryan. The F-Zero car is moving so fast that Wolverine doesn’t even notice that he ripped both engines out of it with this stunt until he gets back onto land with it. Tasha has her entire land team regroup before they begin the huge undertaking of battling with Set. Tasha has Red Hulk pick up the tank that her and Holocaust are in and then jump to the top of a building with it. From that vantage point Tasha should be able to not only see the battle transpire so she can give her much needed orders but it will also give her the ability to shoot at Set’s heads with the tank’s weaponry. Tasha knows that in order to destroy the mammoth Set that they will need to kill all 7 of the creature’s heads. Tasha orders the attack which begins with her firing pot shots at the massive serpent from her tank. Now that the tank is stationary on top of the building she orders her driver, Holocaust to get out and join the others in the attack. Tasha’s tank blasts are not powerful enough to do any permanent damage to Set but they do work to distract the serpent enough for the rest of The Backyardigan’s to begin their attack. Holocaust uses his powers of life absorption to attack one of Set’s heads and then finishes it off with a massive energy blast to destroy it, but before the futuristic mutant can duplicate the trick he is eaten by another of Set’s heads. Doomsday and Rulk each manage to take out a head while Wolverine and Magog work great together to team work 2 of them to death. The 2 last remaining heads bring down the entire building that Tasha’s tank is on top of which destroys both the tank and their fearless leader. Wolverine yells: “FOR TASHA”! As the 4 teammates converge on the final 2 heads of Set and take them out for good, so they can claim the land portion of the planet for the Backyardigans. Space on the other hand is quite a different story. As Vader leads his space ready team into battle Star Wolf asks: “Are you sure this is a good idea Lord Vader? I mean maybe we should just wait for them to come to us? I here this Unicron guy they got can rip entire planets apart”. Vader of course replies with: “The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force”. “The power of the force is insignificant next to the power of the Phoenix force”. Dark Phoenix replies telepathically to Vader. Vader thinks to himself (which is also thinking to Dark Phoenix) “I hope you’re right cause we could use that kind of power”. As the ships exit the Play-Off Planet’s atmosphere Dark Phoenix realizes thru telepathic thought that although the ground leader Tasha is dead, that her squad was victorious. Knowing that they may need more help Dark Phoenix races back down to the planet in the blink of any eye and brings Wolverine, Magog, Rulk, & Doomsday out into space with her before the rest of the team even notices that she is gone. Now with what is left of both teams floating in space above the planet the battle can truly begin. Unicron hangs back, still in a semi-dormant state just waiting for the right time to strike, while Rulk and Thor begin doing battle on the massive Transformers body. Luke and the Skrull Star Wolf engage in a fierce dog fight in their X-Wings and the 2 Voltron’s clash in a masterpiece of equal matchedness (it’s a word, trust me I should know I just made it up). The free-floating team up of Wolverine and Magog fight with Superman while Star Wolf and Orion despite having smaller ships engage The Millennium Falcon and Slave 1 in battle. Rulk grabs Thor by the neck and wrestles him down but Thor continues to struggle. Thor then catches Rulk in the side of the head with Mojinir to break free and the battle starts fresh. Rulk jumps into the weightless air and then comes down on the side of the “sleeping” Unicron with such force that it causes the planet Transformer to transform into his mammoth robot form. Thor jumps off of his humongous teammate, but Unicron grabs a hold of Rulk and then crushes him in his massive fist. Dark Phoenix, who has been quietly and patiently waiting for Unicron to awaken uses telekinesis to throw Doomsday into Unicron. Unicron does more than just simply dwarf Doomsday; in fact Doomsday appears as little more than a bread crumb on the chest of Unicron. True as this may be Doomsday’s strength is not to be trifled with. Despite a ridiculous size advantage Doomsday starts inflicting massive amounts of damage on Unicron. Unicron screams with the pain that he is feeling while Dark Phoenix hangs back once again biding her time. Once Doomsday has turned the dents that he inflicted on Unicron into holes, this is when Dark Phoenix strikes. She unleashes the Phoenix force into the opened metal wounds of Unicron and lets her power begin to consume his. Dark Phoenix tries to increase her own already incalculable amount of power by absorbing that of Unicron but she finds that even the Phoenix force cannot consume so much power within such a miniscule frame. The merging of these 2 powers causes a massive implosion which destroys her and Unicron as well as Doomsday. The other fighters from both teams are sent miles away by the shockwaves of this interaction. Luke wins out by use of a proton torpedo in his X-Wing dog fight against Skrull Wolf (that’s what were calling War Skrull #6 for today). Vader can sense thru the force that his Voltron is not going to come out on top against the Voltron from the Far Universe (that one must be a little better, if they cancelled the show in the U.S. before the other one could even show up). Vader sends 2 bombs from his heavily equipped Tie Bomber into the area where the 2 Voltrons are fighting which causes yet another massive explosion that levels both Voltrons before The Voltron from The Far Universe could destroy his Near Universe counterpart. Superman breaks the trident of Magog and then breaks his face (“your face broke his face”). Wolverine sees this and floats up behind Superman with his claws drawn ready to kill but before Wolvie can get to the Man of Steel, Thor launches Mojinir at Wolverine’s head and takes him out. Star Wolf does an amazing job of evading the turbo lasers and missiles of Jengo and Boba in Slave 1. Star Wolf is able to make the little Arwing do amazing things but eventually the better ship does catch up with him. Star Wolf attempts another evasive stunt but the Arwing takes one to many hits on the left wing which sends it spinning off uncontrollably and then exploding. C-3P0 does an amazing job of being annoying and freaking out while Lando and Nien Numb blow up Orion’s F-22, but after they do, they see something that they had never quite seen before. After the destruction of Orion’s ship, Orion simply ejects from the seat and continues to fly around in space with no help at all (well really it’s because of the Astro harness but Lando doesn’t know that). Luke is able to shoot Vader’s Tie Bomber do to the fact that it is so much slower moving than his X-Wing but Vader maintains enough control of the ship to keep it from being completely destroyed. Vader and Orion both know that his Tie Bomber cannot withstand much more damage so Orion pulls the bomber in with his tractor beam and then projects an energy force field around Vader so he can eject out of the ship (really just jump out into open space). Orion takes the 2 of them and then flies on to the side of The Millennium Falcon and Vader uses the force to open the hatch. The 2 remaining Backyardigans break into the Falcon and then rush into the cockpit. Lando pulls his blaster but Vader and Orion make short work of Lando, Nien Numb, & C-3P0. Vader then sits down and takes over the controls of the Falcon with Orion sitting in the co-pilot seat. Together they swing back around and mount an attack against the remaining TEAMmembers. Vader and Orion fly in with great gusto in the “fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy”, but Luke reluctantly gives the order to fire on his best friends’ ship. Luke says “Well Han said he had a bad feeling that he was never gonna see her again, I guess we can’t make a liar out of him”. The 2 remaining ships (Slave 1 & Luke’s X-Wing) target the Falcon while Superman hits it with his Heat Vision and Thor with the thrown Mojinir. As the Falcon explodes and Thor catches his hammer Superman turns to Thor and says: “Well are season hasn’t stopped yet”. Thor replies with “Aye, Superman my friend I’m not sure that us being stopped is even a possibility”.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!

4 comments:

Darkseid said...

We shall see Thor.

Solobeck said...

B@llsh%t. Simply b@llsh%t.

-Pablo

Josh the Commish said...

You had a great team Bryan, I'm not sure that you would have lost to anybody but Ed in that round.

Lickolas said...

Damn, that was a great match.

Congrats to Ed, your team is really amazing.

I thought you had this one Bryan, you were my pick to beat Ed this year.

I look forward to writing your team in the Consolation Matches.