Sunday, September 27, 2009

George Washington's Slaves

Head Coach: George Washington
Assistant Coaches: Robert E. Lee & William Wallace

Protected Roster
Yoda
Optimus Prime
Jason Bourne
Cosmos
Colossus
Sauron
Capt. Kirk
T-1ooo
Loki
Adm. Ackbar
Santa Claus
Rudolf
Cade Skywalker
Jedi master #14-19
Martian manhunter
Sonny (I-Robot)
Sandworm #15-20
Agen Kolar
Darth Plaguis
Super Soldier
Dare the Terminator
Connor McLeod
Ben Skywalker
Sypho Diaz
Cassandra Nova
Amazo
Patrichlus
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Dormamu
Frank Martin
Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez
Windcharger
Ajax Major
Hound
Jabba the Hutt
Sarumon
Golum
Sgt. Marcus Fenix
Dominic Santiago
Augustus Cole
Damon Baird
Bronze Dragon #20
Cthulu
Wedge Antilles
King Kong
Red Dragon #10
Rocky Balboa
Shaak Ti
Frankenstein's Monster
Capt. Bicard
Mr. Miracle
Inspector Gadget
Duncan Idaho Ghola #7
Kyle Reese
Corbin Dallas
Yoshi
John Connor
Simon Phoenix
Scorpion
Spongebob Squarepants
Unprotected Roster
Fidel Castro
Sayid Jarrah
Saladin
Fizzle
Sgt. Slaughter
Red Dog
Mercer
Taurus
Dasher
Dancer
Prancer
Vixen
Comet
Cupid
Donner
Blitzen
Bebop
Rocksteady
Jedi Master #2-13
Suk Doctor #1
Navy SEAL Chief #8 & 9
Navy SEAL #21-25, & 27
Crash Bandicoot
Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen #7 - 18
Ginaz Swordsmen #1-9, & 17-19
R5-D4
Bender Bending Rodrriguez
Cave Dump
Starship Trooper #1-30
Tank
Dozer
Zack Morris
A.C. Slater
Samuel "Screech" Powers
Jesse Spano
Lisa Turtle
Kelly Kapowski
Huckleberry Hound
Sonny Chiba
Mad Eye Moonie
Moe
Larry
Curly
Jedi Padawan #1A-23A, & 31A (formerly Jedi Youngling #1-23, & 31)
Ninja #1-15
Metroid #19 & 20
Gonzo
Kamilla
Wild Man #1-6
Fell Beast #1-6
Marty Mcfly
Beowolf
Ben Linus
Gargamel
Azrael
Uncle Buck
N.S.-5 #39 & 40
Fred Weasely
George Weasely
Taki
Zorack
Stinkor
Barney Fife
Andy Taylor
Stonewall Jackson
Tony the Tiger
Bilbo Baggins
Bart Simpson
Bill Rieser
Lance Bean
Crimmell
Darkman
Wesley Willis
Jack Daniels
Practice Squad
Head Coach: Bill Clinton
Assistant Coaches: Ryan Burke & Ron Jeremy
Jerry Seinfeld
Elaine Benus
George Castanza
Cosmo Kramer
Dave Seville
Alvin
Simon
Theodore (Du Du du-du-du-dute)
Peter Griffin
Stewie Griffin
Brian Griffin
Lois Griffin
Meg Griffin
Chris Griffin
Hillary Clinton
Suk Doctor #2-4
Fell Beast #7-10
Jedi Padawan #24A-30A (formerly Jedi Youngling #24-30)
The feelings are very mixed and the emotions still run high after The Slaves very successful season, yet disappointing loss in The Universe Bowl to The Horsemen of Apokolips. They lost many friends to the Graveyard but the team is still a solid one and will no doubt still be a force to be reckoned with come Season 3. The Slaves 31, Yoda trained Jedi Younglings have all progressed to the next step and are prepared to continue their training as Padawans. Yoda himself has taken on Jedi Padawan #1A, who was given the deceased Jedi Master #1's lightsasber as a keepsake and reward for finishing at the top of his class. Jedi Master Ki Adi Mundi's lightsaber was given to Santa Claus who has been practicing with it during the off-season. In a very unorthodox move, Old St. Nick also took Jedi Padawan #2A as an apprentice. Jedi Master #2 took Padawan #31A. Jedi Master #3-13 took Jedi Padawan #3A-13A. Jedi Master #14 took Padawan #23A. Jedi Master #15 took #20A. Jedi Master #16 & 17 took Padawans #16A & 17A. Jedi Masters #18 & 19 took Padawans #21A & 22A. Cade Skywalker took Padawan #13A. Ben Skywalkwer took Padawan #14A. Sypho Diaz took Padawan #15A. Shaak Ti took Padawan #18A. Jedi Padawans #24A-30A are patiently awaiting a Jedi to take them as a Padawan or to be traded to a team who has the Jedi manpower to train them while Jedi Padawan #19A has been secretly training with the apprenticeless Darth Plaguis as a Dark Side Akolyte. This chain of events led to the in house death of Jedi Padawan #26A, but this event was quickly covered up by the Sith Lord. Navy SEAL # 23 was dealt a death when he foolishly challenged Scorpion to some one on one Kombat as was Starship Trooper #6 when he reminded Amazo of his not so amazing latter half play-off performance. The only other in house death took place when Suk Doctor #2 showed up for Fidel Castro's weekly check-up and was accidentally stepped on by Cthulu. Several of Jimmy Nuetron's existing inventions are still being utilized by the team while Senior Jedi Master Yoda was chosen by the Green Lantern Ring of Arisia to wield it in defense of his team.

5 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

The Younglings turned Padawans new cost is 16 (as opposed to 20 for other Padawans).

Josh the Commish said...

Assuming that The Slaves management wishes to keep the passed on weapons; Yoda now costs 10 more than he used to, while Santa Claus costs 3 more than he used to. This of course is due to Yoda's new Green Lantern Ring and Santa's new lightsaber.

Ryan said...

Holy shit, Green Lantern Yoda. That's going to be one hell of a "Force" to reckoned with.

Josh the Commish said...

Although it went unmentioned in the initial post, it is worth noting, that the entire Slaves team is addicted to the Spice Melange which gives them all heightened awareness and near super-human reflexes.

Josh the Commish said...

I just realized, that there is a typo in my first comment. They now cost 18. It is -1 for every year they were kept as the last incarnation. If they become Jedi Knights, they will only cost 22, as opposed to 25 for most.