Wednesday, March 3, 2010

TEAM S.P. vs. THE ABOMITRONS

“This place resembles its name, rustic.”
―Chris M. –Judysbook.com

I transport the combatants to the Rustic Pub located in Farmington, Michigan, for this Week 1 Match. They are as follows:

Team S.P.: Elijah Snow, Jakita Wagner, The Drummer and Ambrose Chase.

The Abomitrons: Hancock, Immel # 20 (Iron Jedi), Kyle Houslander, Zachary Houslander, Ewok #47 and Ewok #51.

I “watch” the following events take place. . . .

Outside the Pub
Both Kyle and Zachary Houslander are not allowed into the Pub since they are minors. They stand outside and wait for their chance to enter the bar without being noticed.

Inside the Pub
Inside the Pub, Ewoks #47 and #51 trot through the watering hole with spears. The Endor inhabitants look for prey. As they walk, the cash register, credit card machine, television, juke box, surveillance camera, microwave and all remaining electrical devices go haywire. The Ewoks are discombobulated at the events. The two look around the bar and see the Drummer silently laughing to himself. He has used his physiological connection to information sources (i.e., electronic signals, radio waves, etc.) to interface with the bar’s equipment. With the Ewoks distracted, Elijah Snow uses his abilities to freeze the Ewoks. The Ewoks are frozen. Jakita Wagner runs into, and smashes, the teddy-bear-like participants. Frozen pieces of Ewoks #47 and 51 litter the floor.

Outside/Inside
Kyle and Zack see a trash can on the side of the pub. Above the can is the bathroom window. The two jump on the can, shimmy up a drainpipe and open the window. They both drop to the bathroom floor inside the Pub. The two think it better to go to the bathroom before they begin the fight-they are briefly detained.

Inside
Immel #20 takes action. Elijah Snow freezes the armor encased Immel #20. Immel #20 shakes it off. Snow shoots ice projectiles at Immel #20. Immel uses his lightsaber to batter the icicles away. Immel wades his way through Snow’s ice weapons and reaches the Planetary iceman. Snow is sliced in half. Immel #20 then focuses his sights on the Drummer. Ambrose Chase comes to the rescue of his teammate. Chase uses his psychic field to manipulate the effects of both time and gravity around himself and the others in the Pub. Chase slows time to a near-halt, redirects gravity to allow himself to run up the wall and flips down behind Immel #20. While Immel is frozen in space, Chase takes the lightsaber from Immel’s hand and cuts off his head. Immel #20’s body falls to the ground.

Inside the Bathroom
Kyle and Zack look at their teammates’ decimation; only Hancock survives. If the Abomitrons are to win the match, the two Houslanders know that they better come up with a plan, pretty darn quick.

Inside the Bar
Hancock decides that it is his time to shine for the Abomitrons. He is immediately met by Jakita Wagner. The two tussle and destroy half the bar while they fight; they are evenly matched. The Houslanders see the Drummer sitting at the bar. Knowing that he is crazy, they decide to do something equally as crazy: talk to him face to face. Zack walks over to the Drummer and sits down in the barstool next to the Planetary member. The Drummer is aghast at the audacity of this mere child. He and is about to use his abilities on Zack, when Kyle comes from behind with the bar’s fountain drink hose. Kyle chokes the Drummer with the hose and Zack soon joins him. The two Houslanders manage to strangle the Drummer to death.

Meanwhile, across the establishment, Hancock finally gets the upper hand, and although beaten down, manages to kill Jakita. Wiped out after the bitter battle, Hancock falls to his knees in exhaustion. Ambrose Chase uses his power to warp the realities of gravity and time. He breaks a chair and uses the sharpened leg as a spike. He drives the wood through Hancock’s eye.

Chase looks to the Houslander children who have just killed the Drummer. Although he does not want to, Chase knows what he must do. . . . and, in fact, does.

Team S.P.: Chase Ambrose lives.
The Abomitrons: All dead.

TEAM S.P. IS VICTORIOUS!!!

4 comments:

Sinful Glory said...

Oh dear god Rustic Pub, I've never been but I've heard things.

Josh the Commish said...

The Atlas was given to Herman Munster, the Heat Axe was given to Grandpa Munster, and the Halberd was given to Norman Rockwell. No extra cost.

Lickolas said...

Great stuff Bryan, you were able to do what I didn't have the stones to do.

Josh the Commish said...

I don't remember Bryan talking to a woman in that match?