Season Three: Week 2: Consolation Match: Logical Genocide vs. Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve

Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Brandon Inge (w/ a blue light saber and an Iron Man suit), Justin Oblak (w/ Mandalorian Armor) & Charlie Brown.

Logical Genocide is Robert Hudson (w/ a laser sword, laser gun & pokeball), Melissa Hudson (w/ a star wand) & Dr. Deathbrain.


At a local pub recently, two members of the Fantasy Fantasy league met up to discuss this week’s consolation matches. The meeting was supposed to be a secret, outside of the watchers influence. These two people wanted to know what the outcome of their match would be without reading it from a watcher. The following conversation is said to be an accurate representation of what transpired that evening.

Matt Oblak: “Hey Chris, thanks for meeting me here.”

Chris Seeney: “Yeah no problem. Why am I here again?”

Matt: “Well, after last week’s Jim Joycing of my match, I wanted to discuss my match with someone other than a watcher.”

Chris: “Oh, okay. Seems kind of pointless though.”

Matt: “Not really. I’m thinking if we could get a good enough match together with our two consolation teams, they might except the match and just keep it as a legit story.”

Chris: “Yeah, I kind of doubt that.”

Matt: “Just hear me out on this.”

Chris: (Waiting for Matt to say something additional in regards to his plan)

Matt: “Actually I guess that’s all I have. What do you think?”

Chris: “About what?”

Matt: “The plan, do you think it will work?”

Chris: “No, I already told you it won’t work.”

Matt: “Well, I think you are wrong. Now let’s discuss our teams.”

Chris: “Fine I guess. For the record though, this has literally no chance of working.”

Matt: “Just tell me who you’re starting.”

Chris: “You tell me who you’re starting, then I’ll tell you who I’m starting.”

Matt: “Look, you’re lucky I didn’t kick your ass from your comment’s on the message board a couple of week’s ago. Just tell me who the hell you are starting.”

Chris: “That wasn’t the real Chris Seeney, that was my online persona talking to your wife.”

Matt: “Well the real life Matt Oblak is going to kick the real life Chris Seeney’s a$$ if he doesn’t tell me who he is starting for this week’s match.”

Chris: (Smiles for a second and then realizes that Matt might actually be serious about this.) “Um, okay. I’m starting Robert Hudson (w/ a laser sword, laser gun & pokeball), Melissa Hudson (w/ a star wand) & Dr. Deathbrain.”

Matt: “Aren’t those the people who have never showed up for anything league related yet?”

Chris: “No, I think Dr. Deathbrain showed up to the expansion draft this year." (Chris laughs.)

Matt: (Matt doesn’t)

Chris: “Yeah, that’s them.”

Matt: “Well I’m starting Brandon Inge and my brother, so I would obviously win this match.”

Chris: “Really, that’s it? You brought me up here tonight to discuss our match and that is all you have.”

Matt: “Well maybe if you actually started a real team against me we would have something to talk about, but instead you started an entire team that would probably not even show up for the fight.”

Chris: “Look, I know Inge and your brother have gotten an absurd amount of love in this league, but if we are going to look at this logically, it’s obvious that my team would waste yours.”

Matt: “Yeah “Logical Boy”, tell me how your so-called team could even consider putting up a fight against my perfect squad.”

Chris: “First off, it says it takes place at Nick’s house, whatever that means.”

Matt: “It means it takes place at one of Nick’s houses that he’s lived at.”

Chris: “Yeah, no s#*@ “Lurve” boy. It’s a pretty ridiculously vague setting though.”

Matt: “So, what’s your point?”

Chris: “My point is that they can make the setting work out anyway they want. My guess is that the fight would take place in tight quarters, which totally favors my team.”

Matt: “First off, if tight quarters favors anyone in this match it’s me. Second, it wouldn’t take place in tight quarters. It would take place in the backyard of the house, which again would favor my team.”

Chris: “So what your saying is that no matter where we would fight, my team is at an automatic disadvantage?”

Matt: “Yeah, I already told you that. Continue though, I am curious to here how your team could possibly even stomach being in the same match with my guys.”

Chris: (Thinking to himself that leaving would probably be the best course of action right now) “Okay, I guess both our team’s would be inside an apartment. I am picturing an apartment because it has yet to be used as a setting.”

Matt: “Okay, keep going.”

Chris: “I’m thinking that both of your guys will be bitching about how they lost last week’s playoff match. Then as they are talking to each other, Robert throw’s a Pokeball at them and the pokemon character inside will either kill them or distract them long enough for Robert and Melissa to destroy them with their weapons.”

Matt: “You really think that is how the match would play out?”

Chris: “Yeah, that’s how I see it going down. I think it will be a quick one.”

Matt: “First off, Nick is writing this thing so it’s not going to be quick. Second, you have about as good of a chance of beating me as Amy did against Beckerman this week.”

Chris: “You’re a big fan of putting your thoughts in order aren’t you?”

Matt: (Just stares back at Chris and doesn’t say anything.)

Chris: “Okay, I didn’t know Nick was writing this thing. He’s like your beat writer isn’t he?”

Matt: “No, he just understands my characters and knows how good they truly are.”

Chris: “Yeah, like I said, he’s biased towards your team.”

Matt: “No, he just knows what my team can do.”

Chris: “Okay, well if Nick is writing this match then I suppose he would have my team show up like an hour late or possibly never and then have Brandon and your brother just light my team up for five pages, ending with Dr. Deathbrain saying something stupid and then dying at the end.”

Matt: “Actually, I kind of pictured Dr. Deathbrain dying at the beginning and then having Brandon and my brother light your team up. Either way though, I like where you went with the second story, it just makes sense.”

Chris: “So basically everyone on my team just dies without a chance and everyone on your team lives, without even getting hurt.”

Matt: “Well, I started Charlie Brown as well. I suppose he could die, but I don’t really care if he lives. I guess I would except him dying as being a legit storyline.”

Chris: “You never mentioned starting Charlie Brown.”

Matt: “I just figured it wasn’t worth mentioning, you know, it’s not like I need him to win or anything.”

Chris: “Okay, this is pointless. I am guessing that no matter what I say you will just disagree with it and go with what you want anyways.”

Matt: “No, I will listen to what you have to say and then when you slip-up, I will correct you on your mistake.”

Chris: “You know what, I’m just going to check the site right now and hope the match is already posted.”

Matt: “So you are just giving up on my idea already?”

Chris: “It is a terrible idea that would never possibly work. I still don’t know why I am here.” (Waits for the page to load on his web-enabled phone) “Oh god, why does it still say, “Who Watches the Watchers” on the site, like their ever going to make a movie about that.”

Matt: “So, is the match up yet?”

Chris: “Yeah, hold on a minute. (Reading the match) “Oh, hell yeah, it’s takes place in a apartment like I thought it would.”

Matt: “Woopty frickin do, who won.”

Chris: “Oh come on, you didn’t tell me Brandon and your brother both had nine deaths. S@#%, I have no chance in this match.”

Matt: “Well, what happened? How bad did I kick you’re a$$?”

Chris: (Mumbles something under his breathe that sounds like “Bulls@#!”) “Well, it looks like your beat writer wrote you another biased match with the two retard wonders.”

Matt: “How did it play out, how bad was the spanking?”

Chris: “Well, Dr. Deathbrain said something stupid and then was killed by Charlie Brown. Then Robert and Melissa showed up a couple of hours late, which lead to Brandon and Justin getting drunk. Robert and Melissa then killed Charlie Brown with a double laser sword/star wand attack and then it took Brandon and Justin three and half pages of pointless scenario’s and dialogue to finally kill my team. Though it does have a cool part where Justin thinks Brandon is dead, but at the end you find out that Brandon was just passed out because he was so drunk. In the end though, you won.”

Matt: “Hell yeah I did, because my match was written right this week.”

Chris: “There was no real reason for us to do this tonight was there?”

Matt: “Yeah, we did this so we could figure out how our match should be written.”

Chris: “But the match was already written before we even started to discuss it, so how on earth did this do anything for anyone?”

Matt: “I don’t know, but you lost though. Looks like the match we envisioned ended up being the real match after all.”

Chris: (Chris slowly gets out of his chair and walks towards the exit of the bar. He has his middle figure pointed directly at Matt the entire time.)

Matt: “Can you say sore loser, I knew we shouldn’t of let that guy into the league.”

Logical Genocide: All Dead

Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve: Brandon Inge and Justin Oblak survived.

Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve is Victorious!!!