Tuesday, June 22, 2010

George Washington's Slaves vs Former Pop Superstar Hannah Montana and President Barrack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

George Washington's Slaves are Optimus Prime, Yoda w/Green Lantern Ring, Martain Manhunter, Amazo, Darth Plageuis, Hound, Loki, King Kong, Sandworm #15, Zombie Ki Adi Mundi, Shaak Ti, Super-Soldier, Ultraman, Doppleganger, B'dg, Corbin Dallas, and Santa Claus w/Rudolph, Comet, Cupid, Donder, Blitzen, Vixen, Dasher, & Dancer.

The Commandos are Dave Bowman: The Starchild w/Green Lantern Ring, Numinus w/Blue Lantern Ring, Movie Jetfire w/Indigo Ring, Fatality, Parallax, Agamemnon w/Red Lantern Ring, Juno, Optimus Prime (Orion Pax), Black Adam, Mary Marvel, Bizarro, Ms. Marvel, Zombie Darkseid, Zombie Cloverfield, Albus Dumbledore, Captain Steven Hiller in a MiG, and David Hasselhoff & Zombie Al Dogg in the Silver Age Batmobile.


Before George Washington’s Slaves exit the locker room, Yoda turns to them and says, “Beat the Commandos we must. Depends the Season, it does.” And with those words the Slaves shoot out of their locker room and on to face their hardest challenge yet.

Neither team hesitates for a moment once they are teleported to the Playoff Planet. They find themselves mostly deep inside the city area. But out far away in the desert, there is a battle that is causing the entire planet to quake. Sandworm #15 is being attacked by Zombie Cloverfield. The zombified parasites are falling off of Zombie Cloverfield and beginning to gnaw away at the Sandworm’s hide. Zombie Cloverfield mounts his own offensive against the giant Sandworm, but it’s not enough, and finds itself devoured by Sandworm #15. But just then the duo of Black Adam and Mary Marvel fly right into the mouth of the Sandworm and simultaneously blast out of the side of it, killing the massive creature.

They then fly back into the city where Red Lantern Agamemnon and Juno are leveling any buildings in their path. Juno takes aim and blows apart Zombie Ki Adi Mundi as Agamemnon blast a building that happened to have King Kong climbing on it. The giant gorilla leaps onto Juno and begins to smash and rip through her hull. Agamemnon blast Kong with some red energy, but King Kong is determined to end the life of Juno. He savagely slams his fists down onto Juno, finally breaking through to where her brain is stored. Kong punches through and destroys the brain and kills Juno once and for all. Agamemnon, overcome with rage at this point, unleashes a blinding blast of red energy that literally incinerates King Kong, finally sending him to the graveyard. But unbeknownst to Agamemnon, Yoda quickly scurries up the robotic body of the Titan and finds his stored brain. Yoda uses his Green Lantern ring to remove the protective shell and he then slices the brain in half with his lightsaber. Agamemnon’s Red Lantern ring the flies back to the Commando’s locker room where it will wait for its new recipient.

The Commando’s Optimus Prime then leads the team of Indigo Lantern Movie Jetfire, Bizarro, Albus Dumbledore, and the duo of David Hasselhoff and Zombie Al Dogg in the Silver Age Batmobile into the fray. “Prime did you just see that?! It… looked like you!” says a surprised Hound. “Yes Hound, I thought I felt something change deep within the Matrix,” replies the Slaves’ Optimus. “Rodimus must have passed the Matrix of Leadership onto the younger version of me. Let’s hope that experience is more important than youthfulness.” The Slaves’ Prime then orders Hound, Shaak Ti, Darth Plageuis, Amazo, and B’dg to follow him in hope to flank their opponents. They are soon assaulted by the duo of Parallax and Zombie Darkseid. Parallax dives right into Darth Plageuis and takes control of his body. “Darth Parallax” then proceeds to cut B’dg (which, by the way it's pronounced “Badge”…go figure) down with his lightsaber. Shaak Ti defends herself against her own teammate as Amazo tangles with Zombie Darkseid. The zombified ruler of Apokolips is relentless in his attack against the amazing android, but due to Amazo’s advanced technology, his attacks aren’t doing much damage. Amazo utilizes Flash’s speed and Superman’s strength to deal multiple hard blows to Zombie Darkseid. He then knocks him back into a building with a blast from his duplicated Green Lantern power. But Zombie Darkseid continues his attack. He unleashes a full blast of Omega Beams at Amazo, who tries to evade them, but this is nearly impossible to do. The beams hit Amazo in the back and incinerate the android. “Darth Parallax” is still attacking Shaak Ti, as well as keeping Hound and Optimus Prime at bay with his yellow energy. “HO HO HO! Looks like our team needs a little hand, don’t you think, Corbin ‘ol buddy?” bellow Santa Claus as he swoops in aboard his sleigh. “Yeah, and we got just the little hand for the job!” exclaims Corbin Dallas, as Yoda leaps off of the sleigh and flies in courtesy of his Green Lantern ring. He immediately blast “Darth Parallax” back and then uses his amazing connection with the Force along with his Green Lantern ring to rip Parallax out from his teammate’s body. Darth Plageuis falls to the ground as Parallax is caught in a green energy web. “Time for you to die, it is. Victory, fear will not have,” says Yoda as he slices Parallax in half with his lightsaber. Zombie Darkseid’s eyes then begin to glow as he is powering up his Omega Beams yet again, only this time his target is Yoda. Optimus Prime sees this and reacts quickly. He races in, pulls out his rifle and blows Zombie Darkseid’s head clean off. “Seeing you out on this battlefield brings warm feelings to my heart,” a grateful Yoda says to his old friend.

Meanwhile, the Commandos’ Optimus Prime’s crew is fending off Ultraman, Super-Soldier, Doppelganger and Martian Manhunter. Doppelganger leaps onto the hood of the Batmobile and starts smashing the half-bubble windshields. David Hasselhoff does his best to keep the car under control, but he is having extreme difficulties due to both Doppelganger’s attack and his own blood alcohol levels. Zombie Al Dogg does the only thing he knows how to do and lunges at Doppelganger. He bites into the evil near-mindless duplicate of Peter Parker, who then sub sequentially tears into Zombie Al Dogg’s chest with his harden talons. They both fall off the front of the Batmobile which causes it to drag both of them underneath it as “The Hoff” looses control of it and it smashes into a wall, causing it to explode into a fiery mess killing all three of them. Super-Soldier has engaged Indigo Lantern Movie Jetfire high above the buildings as Optimus and Dumbledore are attacked by Ultra-Man and Martian Manhunter. Super-Soldier blocks Movie Jetfire’s blast from his Indigo ring with his shield. He then flies hard and fast at the Blackbird jet and breaks through not only his Indigo energy force field, but also completely through the Transformer himself. Super-Soldier hovers there in the air as Movie Jetfire plummets to the ground. He is then quickly driven into the ground by Bizarro. The backwards Superman then pounds his fist harder and harder into the back of Super-Soldier’s skull, driving it deeper into the street. By the time Bizarro stops his attack, Super-Soldier has been reduced to a stain in the pavement. Dumbledore is doing a pretty good job of keeping Martian Manhunter tied up with various pyro-magic spells as Optimus battles Ultraman. The young Optimus has to think quickly on his feet if he is to survive this battle against the much larger and more powerful Ultraman. He dodge’s Ultraman’s Spacium Ray and evades Ultra Slashes. Dave Bowman: The Starchild then arrives to give Optimus some much needed support. He uses his vast cosmic powers to take the parts of the fallen Movie Jetfire and outfits Optimus Prime with some heavy armor. This allows Optimus to fly up to fight Ultraman head on. All of this extra armor also gives Prime the additional firepower needed to blast a hole through Ultraman’s chest, which is exactly what he does. Black Adam then arrives to aid Dumbledore in his attack against Martian Manhunter. Dumbledore believes that he has J’onn J’onzz still with his magical spells but, he has phased and turned invisible. He reappears behind the wizard and phases his hand into Dumbledore’s chest, killing him. Black Adam then shouts “SHAZAM!” and launches a lightning bolt right at Martian Manhunter, frying him to his core.

Numinus has now joined Dave Bowman in the battle, where they are soon faced by Loki, Yoda, Corbin Dallas, Santa Claus and his reindeer. Captain Steven Hiller tries to zip in and surprise Santa, but his reindeer are too well prepared for such an attack. They quickly take evasive actions and are able to fly up behind the MiG. Rudolph then blasts the jet away with his red laser nose. Yoda, Santa Claus and Corbin Dallas then set their sights directly upon The Starchild as Loki attacks Numinus. Santa Claus presses the turbo boost on his sleigh and they rocket towards Bowman. The Starchild unleashes a massive blast of cosmic energy entwined with green energy that utterly consumes the sleigh and reindeer. But something is still coming for him. Before Dave Bowman can react, Yoda burst through the smoke from the destroyed sleigh and uses his lightsaber and green lantern energy to do what very few have been able to do, he kills Dave Bowman. Numinus is shocked that Dave Bowman has died. (Which I would like to point out had only happened ONE time prior to this match all season.) This is the opportunity Loki was looking for. He hits Numinus with such a massive amount of black magic that the cosmic entity is unable to defend against it and dies as well. “Chance of victory is at hand. Continue fighting, we must,” says Yoda as he flies himself and Loki back to their team, which is just in time, as they are surrounded by the remaining six members of the Commandos.

Darth Plageuis is still weakened by from his possession by Parallax, but he continues to fight. Last year’s Playoffs M.V.P. (Slaves) Optimus Prime leads his team against what he knows to be a much younger and quicker version of himself. The duo of Black Adam and Mary Marvel immediately attack Loki as Shaak Ti goes on the offensive against Fatality. Yoda knows that Bizarro is their biggest threat right now and engages him. Both Primes know that this fight is inevitable and both agree to not wait any longer. The two Primes clash with such power that it shatters the surrounding buildings’ windows. One draws out his orange energy axe as the other one pulls out his dual orange energy swords. They match each other with every swing, blocking each move as if they both know what the other one is thinking. The Commandos’ Optimus Prime then performs a beautiful spin kick that knocks the Slaves’ Prime right off of his feet. “PRIME!” yells Hound. “Stay back! This is my fight,” replies (Slaves) Optimus. He regains his footing and spear tackles (Commandos) Optimus to the ground. (Commandos) Prime then pushes (Slaves) Optimus off of him as the two get back to their feet. They both simultaneously draw their rifle and fire a single shot. The older and more experienced Prime is able to hit his target, but even then, he only clips the younger version’s side. Black Adam sees this and swoops in against his teammate’s orders and shouts “SHAZAM!” and sends a lightning bolt right into (Slaves) Optimus Prime. He then quickly flies back to aid Mary Marvel in her fight against Loki.

Optimus falls to his knees and then crumples to the ground. His teammates all see this and retreat back to his aid. Yoda erects a green energy bubble around them as Hound kneels down beside Prime. All of the remaining Commandos are pounding away on the force field, trying to break through, but Yoda is fortifying it with the Force as well. “Prime…” a shaken Hound says. Optimus, using all his remaining strength to make himself heard replies “Do not grieve… Soon, I shall be one with the Matrix…” His head is turned so all assembled can see. His eyes flicker weakly, his voice rumbles with overtone of vast weariness and resignation. He reaches up with his hand with great effort to his fellow Autobot. “Hound, it is to you old friend, I shall pass the Matrix as it was passed to me…” Hound grabs a hold of Prime’s hand unwillingly, with mixed grief and surprise on his face. “Prime, I’m not a leader. I’m just a scout,” Hound says to his fallen leader. Prime’s voice is failing, but he presses on, “You will learn, just as I did. Listen to Master Yoda… he will show you the…. path…” A distraught Hound nods. Optimus then presses a button on his chest, which causes it to open up and something extremely bright glows from inside. Hound, nearly blinded by the intense light, reaches in and pulls out the Autobot Matrix of Leadership and holds it for a moment in his hand. Optimus Prime’s hand then drops to the ground as he dies. The Matrix then suddenly lights up even more. A miraculous transformation begins to take place. Hound begins to grow at an alarming rate; age shows on his face; he is stronger and wiser. Then all of a sudden, everyone hears Optimus Prime’s voice say “Arise, Houndimus Prime.”

Yoda then blasts the green energy bubble outwards, knocking back all of the Commandos. Once the smoke clears, the Commandos see Houndimus Prime leading the way. He goes right after Black Adam and fires his shoulder mounted rocket, knocking Black Adam out of the sky. He then races up and finishes him off with his newly upgraded plasma cannon. Shaak Ti leaps into the air in a spinning motion and is able to cut down Fatality before she can use her Star Sapphire ring against her. Yoda continues what he set out to do before Optimus fell, and goes after Bizarro. They fly head first right at each other. Yoda is quicker of the two, and is flying circles around Bizarro. But he is finally caught in Bizarro’s grip. The backwards Superman squeezes and begins to kill Yoda, but with his last bit of energy, Yoda accomplishes his mission and drives his lightsaber into the neck of Bizarro. They both fall to the ground, lifeless. Ms. Marvel then flies in at twice the speed of sound and destroys Shaak Ti with an explosive blast of radiant energy. She then flies in to aid Mary Marvel against the powerful Loki. But as soon as she arrives, Loki blasts her with a massive amount of mystical energy which vaporizes Ms. Marvel. However, Mary Marvel, who had been mentored by Black Adam, uses this distraction to her advantage. She flies up behind Loki, grabs his horns on his helmet and twists them down into his own heart. Darth Plageuis then hits her with a bolt of Sith Lightning, which ironically enough does do some damage to her. Mary Marvel then powers through it and yells out “SHAZAM!” and hits Darth Plageuis with some lightning of her own. But the two forms of lightning reacted poorly with each other and caused an explosion that killed both of them.

It now comes down to one on one. Prime vs Prime. Optimus vs Houndimus. Optimus Prime pulls out his orange energy axe once again and rushes towards Houndimus. He blocks the attack and knocks Optimus back. The two trades blows back and forth. Houndimus is much more on the defensive, as he is having a difficult time dealing with the fact that he is fighting Optimus Prime. In the end, this proves to be his undoing, as Optimus Prime gains the upper hand and finishes Houndimus off. “You will be a great leader one day, Houndimus,” Optimus says to himself as he walks off the battlefield.

FORMER POP SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA AND PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCE TO THE NATIONAL LEAGUE FINALS!!

5 comments:

Artifact said...

Wow dude. Easily your best match ever. very well written!

I wonder if it was my undoing that when I sent my team in, I forgot to mention Plagius had a red lantern ring... Sure would have come in handy in the end there. Dammit!

Good Luck Nick! Do the NL Proud!

-Z

Lickolas said...

Holy crap Ryan, nice match dude! I was literally on the edge of my seat the last half of the match.

Nice match as well Chris. I honestly thought I was done for when Bowman and Numinus were killed off. I still can't believe Optimus beat Houndimus, what a great final paragraph.

I will do my best to make the NL proud but I still have to get past Joe next week.

Solobeck said...

Ryatu:
Absolutely fantastic match!

On a different note: I will attempt to live up to your team of last year and defeat Ed. Wish me all the luck-I'm going to need it!
-B2

Josh the Commish said...

The red lantern ring went to Tlaloc. Cost is plus 10. Boots' lightsaber went to his best amiga Dora. No extra cost (because she already has a lightsaber as well). The Purple lightsaber went to Karallen, his cost is plus 3.

Josh the Commish said...

I love this match. It is still awesome after all these years!!