Sunday, February 27, 2011

Pre Season Battle: Griffin’s High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers vs Logical Genocide

Griffin’s High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Xio Jade, Junkeon #17 and Black Lantern Al Dogg.

Logical Genocide is Predator #48, Mungo w/a Demon Rod and Hector w/ a Devil Lance.



The Danger Room is activated to Training Program #409-SX-02…. The Kodak Theatre in Hollywood, California. “Yo, Mungo, I think weez at da 83rd Acdemys Awardz!” exclaims Hector. “Huh, dat’s werd Hekter,” Mungo responds. The orchestra begins to play as the stage opens up with James Franco and Anne Hathaway walking out. But before they can begin their most likely terribly scripted monologue, the Franco/Hathaway robots are destroyed by Junkeon #17 who squeals onto the stage in his motorcycle form. He quickly transforms and shouts “And the winner is….Cadillac Cats! Yes, act now, destroy the cats, eliminate even the toughest stains!” Junkeon #17 blasts Mungo away before he can even raise his Demon Rod to use it. “Yo bro! Dat ain’t cool!” Hector yells back as he jumps over the front row, behind holograms of Halle Berry and Jeremy Renner. The Junkeon then is blasted in the back by something high above the giant Oscar statue that’s on stage. “Ackk!” yelps the transformer. “Now to present the award for Best Actor in Supporting Role… Xio Jade!”
The evil female Sith leaps out of the Orchestra Pit and ignites her lightsaber. She instantly raises her hand and Force pushes the giant Oscar statue down. This causes their mystery opponent to reveal himself. Predator #48 turns off his cloaking device and engages the Sith in battle. Being the cunning hunter that he is, Predator #48 is well aware that his weapons cannot defend against a lightsaber, so he keeps a fair amount of distance between himself and his opponent. He fires several blasts from his shoulder rocket, but Xio Jade blocks them with her lightsaber. She then uses the Force to crush the shoulder mounted weapon. “Accepting the award on behalf of Heath Ledger is Junkeon #17,” exclaims the transformer as he tries to attack the Predator. But Predator #48 throws one of his glaive and decapitates the Junkeon. The transformer’s headless body crumples to the ground and falls off the stage into the “audience.” “Daaammnn Dogg! Way to go, bro!” exclaims Hector.
Hector then is levitated out from behind the row of seats in a glow of black energy. “Yo, what gives?!” shouts the Jersey born Cadillac Cat. “Back the f#@k up, Black Lantern Al Dogg is in da house!!!” exclaims Black Lantern Al Dogg. “You know after dying sixteen times now, the power that be, FINALLY gave me something that will do me some good.” Hector tries to hit his foe with his Devil Lance, but the cursed weapon has no effect on the zombified super powered being. The man so nice they’ve had to bury him, well you get the point, uses his new found Black Lantern powers to rip the heart right out of Hector and consume its energy. Xio Jade manages to get in close to the Predator and slices his side with her lightsaber. The Predator then retreats back behind the stage where robots of E! News correspondents Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic are currently waiting. They attempt to get a comment from the Predator, but much like I’m sure most of the actual award winners from that night would like to do, he guts both of them with his giant retractable claws. Black Lantern Al Dogg then uses his Black Lantern powers to blast through the stage backdrop and flies ahead of Xio Jade after Predator #48. He finds the Predator bleeding out all over the table of envelopes and Oscars. His gauntlet begins to beep as its self destruct counts down. “Oh no you don’t motherf#*&er! Your heart is mine!” yells Black Lantern Al Dogg as he tears open the chest of Predator #48 and consumes his heart. He then grabs Xio Jade and flies out of the Danger Room before the Predator’s nuclear weapon goes off.

GRIFFIN’S HIGH MAINTENCE DOPE FIENDS AND DESTROYERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!

4 comments:

Ryan said...

Logical Genocide: All dead.

Dope Fiends: Black Lantern Al Dogg and Xio Jade survive.

Mungo said...

We wuz sposed to win for RiffRaff cuz dose udder gais wuz the 1 who got RiffRaff his mean powdur and maked him all mean.

We lost and I is sad. :**(

Josh the Commish said...

Good work Ryan. Funny stuff. Although, I'm not quite sure how I feel about Al Dawg living through a match.

Lickolas said...

Black Lantern Al Dawg Baby! He is now a great power in this league.