Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Tijuana Taco Benderz Vs. George Washington's Slaves

George Washington's Slaves are Doppleganger and Gizmo

The Tijuana Taco Benderz are Mammoth and Jinx


Damn Gizmo is cute. I mean seriously, I know that I am supposed to be totally unbiased as a watcher, but I am not sure if there has ever been a human child as cute as that friggin magwai. I know that fan-boy dorks (like me) like to act like they think that The Gremlins movie is cool because of some retro horror aspect; but lets be honest. That movie is cool because even the most hardened A-Hole on the planet can’t help but have their heart melt when Gizmo says “Bright-light, Bright-light” in that friggin movie... Don’t deny it people, I mean seriously who do you think you’re bulls&*^in? But back to the story. The fact that I am totally obsessed with the cuteness of Gizmo doesn’t change the fact, that this match starts with Mammoth punting the little Magwai right into the AT-ST painting above Josh’s vintage T.V. Which destroys both the painting and the life of Gizmo.

**At this point, we shall forego the week that Josh spends crying over this double loss and just continue with the events of the fight.

Mammoth and Doppleganger become locked in an intense and violent battle. They break everything that they come in to contact with and turn Josh’s apartment into an absolute disaster (Josh is going to come home and think that he is married again). Mammoth may actually have the upper hand in the strength department, but he is definitely lacking in terms of speed and fighting ability when put up against Doppleganger. Jinx is attempting to make a move to help out her teammate but she, in essence does little more than follow the fight into Alex’s room as the 2 brutes turn every room in Josh’s place into a complete disaster. Mammoth gets pushed down, but pops back up as quick as he can. The HIVE Academy Graduate attempts to defend himself, but Doppleganger uses his two top arms to grab the arms of Mammoth and break them in place while he is simultaneously gut-punching the genetically enhanced teenager. With Mammoth’s arms broken and lung’s compressed he makes virtually no effort to stop the evil Spider-Man Clone from using his multi-armed frame to crack his neck. As Jinx’s teammate falls the HIVE FIVE Leader jumps into action. She attempts to attack Doppleganger but the four-armed individual’s spider-sense tingles before she can land her attack. Doppleganger ducks out of the way of his smaller attacker and punches her on to the top of Josh’s dresser. The dazed Jinx shakes off this brutal attack just in time to see that the sword set that Doppleganger had thrown her into had become airborne. Jinx smiles as Doppleganger runs in for the attack and sees the sword set’s Wakisachi fly through the air and land blade first in the back of Doppelganger’s neck. It sure is good to be lucky.
THE TIJUANA TACO BENDERZ ARE VICTORIOUS!!

2 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Slaves: All Dead

Taco-Benderz: Jinx is sole survivor.

Josh the Commish said...

If the end of this match is confusing to people, it might be of use to know that Jinx's power is to cause "bad luck" to the people around her.

I just thought that that knowledge may come in handy for some people.