Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Season 5 week 4- Better Than All of You vs The Tijuana Taco Benders

Better Than All of You is:
Ric Flair w/ Blue Lightsaber
Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk
Stone Cold Steve Austin (Assistant Coach) w/ Blue Lightsaber
Red Skull (Assistant Coach) w/ Glamdring (Gandalf the White's sword)
Predator # 11 w/ Green Lightsaber
Space Godzilla
Zombie King Kong
Velociraptors # 1, 2, 3 & 4
Tyrannasaurus Rex # 17, 18, 19, & 20 (#19 w/ Dino Riders Equipment B)
Yellow Lantern # 2

Tijuana Taco Benders are:
Copper Dragons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Brass Dragons 9, 10
White Lantern Swamp Thing
Kryat Dragon #4
Mon Mothma
Justice Force:
Silver Sentry w/Green Lantern Ring
Ananda
Metal Head w/2 Green Lightsabers
Chrysalis
Tsunami
Nobody
Raptarr
Nano
Green Mantle
Boomerang

"Dammit, Rick. I can't suit these damn things up" yells Tully Blanchard. "The damn T-Rex won't stay still"

"Move ya stupid son of a bitch. I'll do it" sneers BTaY's assistant coach "Stone Cold" Steve Austin who grabs the dino rider gear from the 2012 WWE Hall of Fame inductee and saunters over to the T-Rex with his typical BMF walk.

"Now lissen up, ya overgrown lizard. Yer gonna put on this gear. Take us out there and open a can of whoopass on them damn Teeeoowanna Taco Benders" growls Austin

"RRRROOOOOOAAAAA***" the T-Rex starts to growl when suddenly Austin kicks the dinosaur in the stomach, jumps up, and gives the mighty reptile a Stone Cold stunner knocking it out cold.

"Hurry up and get this thing ready, we got us a match to win" says Austin leaving Blanchard looking in disbelief what just transpired

"Well, Skull. How we lookin'" Stone Cold asks the Red Skull, who's hunkered over the team view screen plotting his next move

"Nicht zo great" says the Skull "Ve haf lost almost all uf our dinozaurs, but taken out ze Justice Force, except zat flying turkey Raptarr. I vas most pleased ven ve felled the schwatze Silver Sentry. Zombie King Kong has done a most impressive job taking out all ze copper und one brass dragons"

"I done warned you about bein' racist, Red" warns Austin "Ya just saw me drop that dino, I got no problem whuppin' yer sorry carcass too. Plenty of whup ass to go around"

"Ja, ja. Sorry" responds the Skull "Still ve look ok, but not great. SHEISSE!! Ze Green Mantle just dropped zombie King Kong!!"

"Dammit! Where's the yella lantern!"

"He's finishing off ze last brass dragon. Zose tings talk too much." says Skull "Ah, zere. He has got him. He took his cape and ze Green Mantle has just fallen"

"Well, I ain't gonna let them have all of the fun" says Austin as his fires up his light saber "Telly, meet me out there. It's go time."

Austin teleports to the battlefield and runs into the fracas, cutting down Mon Mothma before she can process what's happening.

"'Bout time ya showed Steve" grins Ric Flair as he uses fires his Sith lavarouk and blasts the wings off of Raptarr, who crashes to the ground and is torn to bits by the two remaining Raptors. Their feast is short lived though, as suddenly vines encase the two and squeeze them to death.

"What the hell?" asks Stone Cold as the vines begins to appear by him and the Nature Boy. Steve begins furiously hacking away at the plants.

"Steve, we got big problems, baby. WHoooo" says Flair, who is quickly becoming encased in vegetation.

"Austin" booms the voice of the Skull. "It's zat Schwamp Ting. He is using the island againt you. I haf dispatched Blanchard to stop him, but he needz back op"

"We got our own problems" responds Austin. still hacking "We just lost Flair."

"I'm fine baby" says Flair "I'm just a little tied up is all, maybe a bit outta breath. Can't really move"

"Dumkoffs." yells the Skull "Must I do everything? yells the Skull, who teleports in with Glamdring and assists Stone Cold in cutting back the assault.

Suddenly, the attack stops.

"Comeon. We gotta free Flair" says Austin

"Leave me for a sec, brother." replies the Nature Boy "I think I hear the radio. You can free me after we finish bending these Taco Benders. WWWhhhOOOOoooOOOO!!!"

"uys. I....ot.....Thing...he....ot..ff' crackles the radio

"What?" says Stone Cold.

"He said 'Guys I got Swamp Thing but he got a shot off' " says a mysterious voice. "At least he tried to before I killed him.

"Nein" says the Skull "You're dead . SAW YOU DIE!!!!"

"Maybe" replies Silver Sentry "But you forgot. We have our own white power. Now, how about we finish this?"

"Hah. You are out numbered?" sneers the Skull "You haf no cha" Skull is cut off as a giant green hand pops his head like a zit.


"You want some?" says Stone Cold as he tosses aside his lightsaber "Come on, son. But no weapons"

"Just the way I like it" replies The Sentry "who flicks his green ring off to the side

the two rush at each other and a legendary battle begins. Each man dishing out punishment, and receiving some in turn. Austin thinks he hears a scream, but can hardly be sure. Then Sentry throws Austin into a tree, when all of a sudden there's an unmistakable huge roar

"Bout damn time" says Stone Cold as Space Godzilla appears

Silver Sentry looks on in shock as the mighty beat opens it's mouth to incinerate him

"Nothin' personal, Sentry" says Austin as he grabs his lightsaber "Yer a good kid, but this team ain't called "Fair Fighting Nice Guys". We're 'Better Than All of You' "

As Silver Sentry is engulfed in flames, Austin cracks open a couple of Stevewiesers. Unaware, that there was still one Taco Bender lying in wait. The Kryat dragon is about to pounce, when Austin turns and whips a beer can at the beast hitting it in the face

"You made me waste beer ya bastard" sneers Austin who furiously jumps on the beast, gives it a double bird, and stabs it right through the skull-killing it.

"OH HELL YEAH" says Austin, who saunters over to his cooler and begins a giant, beer fueled celebration. Then he looks closely at the beasts jaws. There's blood all over the Kryat's mouth and Austin thinks he sees something sparkling. He pries open the dead dragons mouth, when a hand falls out, holding up four fingers in an unmistakable sign with WWE Hall of Fame rings on two of the fingers .

"Damn, Ric. The sumbitch got ya" murmers Austin. He picks up the hand, holds it and a beer and says "Here's to ya, Naitch. Whoooo!" and solemly toasts the fallen horseman.

17 comments:

Krisatu said...

Better Than All of You: Space Godzilla and assistant coach "Stone Cold" Steve Austin survive

The Tijuana Taco Benders: All dead.

BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!!

Archr5 said...

Great match. Both teams put up great rosters.

Solobeck said...

Nice match!
-Becks

Jim Ross said...

Stone Cold! Stone Cold! Stone Cold! The Texas Rattlesnake strikes again!

Artifact said...

Good stuff dude!

Nice win Joe!

Lickolas said...

Joe joins the ranks of the winning. Good match Seeney, I need to learn from your brevity.

Stone Cold was the man, maybe he can come back to fight Cena in real life so that he can finally have somebody who is close to his equal.

Ryan said...

Come on Nick.....

Cena has no equal.

Lickolas said...

I know, I'm just trying to give these other guys some confidence.

Krisatu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Krisatu said...

Cena has no equal, because Rock is clearly his better.

Lickolas said...

Jezz, say it don't spray it.

Ryan said...

Nick, Seeney is obviously just hoping if he says it enough, he'll start to believe it.

Cena's so superior, he's the type who goes up against guys to make them look better.

Krisatu said...

If Cena's so superior, why did he lose me $5 betting on him to win?

And that's five AMERICAN dollars.

Solobeck said...

Nice match; well done!
-Becks

Solobeck said...

Nice match; well done!
-Becks

Ryan said...

Stone Cold Steve Austin got the Jetpack.... and that's the bottom line because The Commissioner said so!

Krisatu said...

After all he did this match, the man stunned a dinosaur for god's sake, I couldn't see anyone other than Stone Cold getting the jetpack

Oh hell yeah!!