Thursday, April 24, 2014

Spoiler Sport Week 5!

Hello Everyone, Cotton McKnight here. Welcome to Spoiler Sport. Here on The Ocho! The Play-Off Planet decided old rivalries, while many new ones were created among planetary unrest!

We start with Mitchy's Luminous Tentacle Warriors, who ordered up a loss in week 5. B-3 was happy to benefit, and find themselves in a good position heading into the home stretch. We here at Spoiler Sport have a good feeling about The Warriors in week 6!

The Grindhouse's Tom Brady had an impressive offensive line blocking for him, but when Yellow Lantern Becks met Team SP's Zombie Becks, Becker-Mania ran wild on their plans! Bizarro was kind enough to declare The Grindhouse victorious, but in Bizarro-speak, that means Team Sleeping Pussy wins!

Care Becks saw the majority of the action for Charles' Barkley's Turrible Decisions, but in the end, it all came down to The Slaves' Darth Shemalya. Is this the birth of a new FFL Legend? Only time will tell!

Real Man's Rabblerousers get wrecked by The Supper Orange Kitties and Cats. Despite the best efforts of The Red Hulk, The Kitties get by, thanks to Supergirl and Kingdom Come Wonder Woman! Condolences are in order for Menos, who was rudely awakened during his siesta.

The decimated Play-Off Planet caught a break in The Travelling Sisterhood versus TEAM match. TEAM's Captain America's strategy went according to plan, but unfortunately, it was all just an alternate reality imagined by The Midgets' Franklin Richards.


The Play-Off Planet sustained severe damage throughout The Imperial Commandos and Fighting Nut-Busters match. As the planet itself shuddered, Earth-2 Superman made his presence felt at various points in the fight! Filmy the Ewok, LMD Vinnie Johnson, and John Browning toured the carnage via AT-ST, but they are ended by the experienced and ever-dangerous Dora in the finale. The Empire and The Commandos hope to use this win to bolster their post-season dreams, as the future becomes more uncertain for The Murderflies and Nut-Busters.

Finally, The Universe Bowl rematch was all we could have hoped for, delivering satifying action on every front! Desperate plans by both teams had their ups and downs, but the wins and loses piled up in the end. The Highness' out-numbered Yoda fell before the Horsemen's Batman and Wonder Woman! Can anyone stop the rampaging Horsemen of Apokolips?

As always, the excitement of Week 5 is concluded with Pepper Brooks' Resurrection Points report. Pepper!


Muh muhmuh muh muhmuh muh muh muh. Muhmuhmuh muhmuhmuh muhmuh muhmuh muh muh. Muh! Muh muh muhmuh muh muh! Muhmuh muhmuhmuh muh muhmuh muhmuh muhmuh muh. Muhmuhmuh muhmuh muh muhmuh muh muh muhmuh!

Thank you Pepper! Some of your finest reporting yet! Next week, The FFL heads to the punishing deserts of The Outskirts of Arakeem. In this critical time of the season, the slightest mistakes can any evaporate any hope of the play-offs, while winning teams might just find their own post-season oasis! Stay tuned to The Ocho as we travel to Nueilly-sur-Seine, France for the qualifying match in competitive Pelota! For The Ocho, I'm Cotton McKnight. Thank you, and goodnight.

4 comments:

MVP Council said...

MVP's Week 5: 1.Batman 2.Darth Shemalya 3.Earth-2 Superman 4.Care Becks 5.Supergirl

Josh the Commish said...

Ooh. Extending The MVP Council, I like it!!

Solobeck said...

SHEMALYA!!!!!!!

Ryan said...

For the love of f*ck. Could someone either fix Pepper's brain or just finally put him out of his misery already?!?!