Sunday, February 8, 2015

A beginning of endings

Cotton McKnight enters his good friend Pepper Brooks hospital room and closes the door. He hasn't missed one day of visiting, not since Peppers tragic run in with a cliff last year.

"Hey, Pep. How ya doin?" he asks, once again getting no answer.

"Buddy- If you can hear me, don't go hurrying up to wake up on our account. I just got the word "Spoiler Sport" is no more. There's been a huge fight between cable stations and ESPN, and there's not one outlet who will carry us anymore. I just got the news today" Cotton's eyes well up with tears, but he chokes them back-vowing to stay strong for his comatose co-worker/best friend

"Things *sniff* things are getting dark man. They're calling this year "The Purge" and promising MORE bloodshed, if you can believe that. I guess there's some new policy enacted where a bunch of random commons have just been assigned teams all willy nilly- you can imagine how that went over with Dusty Rhodes. He's saying that as the voice of the common man, that his people deserve better than to be bullet catchers to help pad teams for the play offs. That these Watchers are lazy, not bothering to take the time to get to know his people. He said that every common has the ability to become the next "Butterscotch" but who really gives a hoot when Superman from Earth 742X-3, or Hal Jordan: Chartreuse Lantern approach these owners about coming to the Big Leagues"

Pepper's heartbeat monitors continues to beep, as Cotton gathers his thoughts

"Did you hear the other news? They found one of the Watchers dead. Krisatu. No one knows how or why. It seems like everything is...." Cotton trails off, an idea starting to brew.

Suddenly- it hits him.

"Oh my god. Pepper. Pepper, buddy. You're not safe. None of us are safe. It's happening. They're-"

Suddenly- there's a flash of light and a mysterious figure appears.

"Ah-ah. That'd be SPOILING SPORT." the figure laughs as Cotton McKnight is gutted like a fish. He collapses to the floor. Watching helplessly as his attacker strides over to Pepper's life support machine.

"Hee hee. So- they pulled the plug on your little show? Well I'm pulling the plug on Pepper! Hee haa haa haaa"

As Pepper flat-lines, Cotton struggles to crawl to the hall to get some help- cursing himself for literally closing the door on his chance for survival.

"Well, well reporter man. I gotta run. The sight of blood makes me a bit queasy if we're being honest. Toodles" he drops an orb to the floor and vanishes.

His throat filling with blood- Cotton tries to gurgle his famous sign off line for the very last time, as the plasma grenade violently explodes incinerating  Cotton McKnight and Pepper Brooks.


8 comments:

Krisatu said...

Press release-

Due to a lack of funding, as well as the brutal slaughter of it's two founding hosts- Cotton McKnight and Pepper Brooks- The FFL highlight show "Spoiler Sport" will no longer be a part of the ESPN 8 family. We at the Ocho would like to thank the FFL for their support over the years, and wish them the best of luck with their up coming season.

Artifact said...

NO ONE IS SAFE FROM THE PURGE!!

RIP Cotton, Pepper and Krisatu.

Josh the Commish said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Poor Pepper and Cotton.

Krisatu said...

Hey!

Josh the Commish said...

Oh, and poor Krisatu.... We'll miss him too..... Until THE UNIVERSE BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!!!!!!!!

Ocho Producer #17 said...

It was a pleasure working with you both. Godspeed.

Lickolas said...

You will all be missed for sure.

Great stuff, um, whoever it was who wrote this...

Lickolas said...

Seriously though, I am already looking forward to seeing what is going to happen for the UB this year.