UNIVERSE BOWL IX: CHAPTER XIV

Water Region – Beach. . .

Captain Crunch jumps off of his raft and onto the beach.  Mer-Man wades from the water and stands by his brother-in-arms.

Mer-Man:  Now we must join our teammates.

Captain Crunch:  Darn tootin’ we’re going to join our teammates!  We’re gonna eat some Highness a$$!

Mer-Man, once again, guffaws at the double entendre.

Mer-Man:  Captain.  You have to stop with your quips.  You just don’t know what you’re saying.  Remember. . .

Mer-Man’s words are cut short as his head explodes, brain matter splattering across the face of Captain Crunch.

One hundred yards away, the Punisher moves his head from the sniper scope.  The vigilante is seen lying down on top of his van, smoke emitted from his rifle’s barrel.  He calls down to the driver of the van.

Punisher:  Mission accomplished, Microchip.

Microchip:  Nice going, Frank.

The Punisher looks in the scope again.  He sees Captain Crunch in an insane frenzy.

Captain Crunch:  Show yourself, you f#%n’ coward!!!  Show yourself and face the wrath of the Cereal Captain!!!

A click is heard from the weapon as the Punisher locks on his new target.

Captain Crunch: You f#%n’ pu$$y!!!  You g#dd@mned, f#%n’ piece of s#&t pu$$y!!!  Face me!!!

The Punisher locks on his quarry.  The van is jostled and the gun fires, missing its’ mark. 

Punisher:  What the h#ll, Microchip!  What’s happening down there!?!?

Microchip’s head, sans body, drops next to Castle.  The Punisher grimaces and immediately rolls off the van’s top.  He comes face to face with Kol Skywalker and Shado Vao, lightsabers ignited.

Skywalker:  Your time is over, Punisher.

Both Skywalker and Vao are about to finish their foe when Captain Crunch rushes to the scene, trident brandished.  The Punisher, distracted by the Jedi, turns around too late and is impaled by Crunch.

Captain Crunch:  That’s it, boy!  Show me your “oh” face!

Skywalker and Vao look at one another, shaking their heads.  Captain Crunch jumps in the Punisher Van.

Captain Crunch:  Check this sh*t out, boys.  Hop on board and let’s cause some havoc.

Skywalker and Vao smile as they enter the motor vehicle.