UNIVERSE BOWL IX: CHAPTER XXII

The dust settles within the cavern containing Batman and Old Man Logan.

“Tell me,” directs Old Man Logan to Batman.

Batman stands in silence for several minutes before beginning his story.

“After our team assured itself of a position in the Universe Bowl, Richards, Luthor, Doom and I held a secret conference.  The meeting was held with only the four of us present.  We were a silent cabal within our team, formed for a single purpose: win the Universe Bowl. We knew that the Universe Bowl would take the lives of many, but more importantly, we knew that in order to defeat the Slaves, we needed to focus on their champion, Darth Shemalyah.

“Yes, the Slaves have Superman, Thunderclash, Fernus, Loki, Wolverine and Spongebob Squarepants, but it is Shemalyah who has gained the recognition of being one of the most powerful and practically undefeatable entities within our league.   She has been a force to reckon with throughout the season and we needed to put her down.  With Shemalyah’s death, the Slaves would be in a state of disrepair such that their spiral could never be corrected.

“But how do you destroy something that is indestructible?  There were no records of Darth Shemalyah in the databases at the Batcave.  There were no databases within the FFL records to which I perused.  She seems to have come into sheer existence from a figment of warped minds’ imagination.  She was created from the ether.

“Nonetheless, the cabal knew there had to be somewhere which would disclose the history of Shemalyah.  I was sent to find the place.  To assure my mission’s secrecy, we decided to wipe the minds of the remaining cabal members, Richards, Doom and Luthor.  They would remember nothing of our discussions; they would only know that I had gone missing.

 “While the others crafted a strategy in winning the Universe Bowl, I’m assuming utilizing the Death Star, which Doom was always fixated on, I traversed the Playoff Planet and the stars surrounding it for any indication of Shemalyah’s origin.  Through countless interviews and investigations, I discovered a satellite, nameless, appearing insignificant to all those who pass by.  As we all know though, appearances can be deceiving. 

“I located a Sith Holocron on this satellite, hidden away, no doubt by Darth Shemalyah herself or her acolytes.  The Holocron miraculously contained the history of Shemalyah.  Her birth.  Her transition.  Her travels throughout the galaxy as a Jedi.  Her transition to the Dark Side.  The sacrifice of her lover by her own hands.  The taking of both apprentices, Landsoh and Nyram.  Her power and her near indestructibility.  All of it.  All of it was contained within the Sith Holocron.  Although her history will be discussed another day for we do not have time at this moment, I need to point out that the Holocron did contain something else: the way to defeat her.”

“What per chance is that?” questions Logan.

Batman continues his story. 

“There is an element unknown to man; never discovered until this very day by myself and witnessed by you, Old Man Logan.  The Holocron contained this information.”

“The Holocron directed me to this very cavern on the Playoff Planet.  This cave contains the essence of a spirit cube.  The spirit cube is what is held in my hands.  The cube, in essence a crystal, contains the spirits of the lost Sith.  This crystal can be weaponized.  The weapon which utilizes the crystal will not only defeat any Jedi or Sith in its path by drawing his or her midichloridians from their body, but more importantly for our team, will leave Darth Shemalyah a mere husk, defeated and dead.  This crystal,” notes Batman as he looks down at the dark gem in his gloved hands, “is the key.”

“Now I knew that Richards would eventually look for me and send someone to find me before the Universe Bowl, I just needed the time in between to finish my plan.  When someone found me- - you Logan, I needed to have everything in place.  I do now.  It was your mission from Richards to find me.  It is my mission for you to safely get me to the locker room.

“You see, I formulated the weapon and it is currently in a secret compartment within our locker room.  No one know but myself and now you.  I need to place the crystal in the weapon to defeat her.  So, like I said before, you need to get me to the locker room, undetected.

 “This crystal is a gem to our victory over the Dark Lord Shemalyah.  It is a key to our victory over the entire George Washington’s Slaves team.”

Old Man Logan looks at Batman, “Are you sure, Bruce?”

“As sure as Shemalyah is now dead.”