Week 3: TEAM vs Scar Jo's Leather Trash Pandas

TEAM: God Emperor Leto, Hasimir Fenring, Titan Cymek #1-2, Istian Goss, Moritani Soldier #1-15, Abulurd Harkonen, Yakub, Tom Bombadill, Beta Ray Bill, DC Thor, Tripticon, Chris Artrip w/ Inquisitor Lightsaber, Julie Artrip, Ella Artrip w/ Courtney Love’s Gun, Jack Artrip w/ Tanooki Suit, Ben Artrip w/ Ninja Star, Loki, Set, Chattari #3-6

Leather Animals: Thor, Adam Warlock, Paul Maud Dib, General Grievous, Zaheer, Ghazan, P’Li, Ming-Hua, Vision, Lucius Malfoy, Alia Atreides, Count Glossu Rabban, Duke Leto Atreides, Scytale, Avatar Roku, Tlaloc, Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother #1-10, Hrethgir #1

Duke Paul Muad’Dib Atreides, leader of this rebel squadron, stands at the forefront of battle at the command of Scar Jo’s word. “Wait… one second… pssssst, Lucius do the thing” Paul whispers. “Oh right, my duke…” Lucius turns his body, “AVADA KEDAVRA!” And just like that, the guy who emma describes as “slimy” has killed his own teammate, Duke Leto Atreides, so that Paul could have the rightful heir to the throne without contest. Naturally, Paul, who ordered the assassination, then slides his crysknife into Malfoy’s chest as payment for “justice”. It’s all very weird politics, but now the only person left to overthrow is Paul’s own son, God Emperor Leto… at least this one’s on the other team.

Considering Wallach IX is simply desert and remains of a long forgotten civilization, the other team, TEAM, saw all this unfold. The art of sneaking is simply not an option in this desolate setting. Therefore, an all out brawl occurs before our eyes. I could swear this fight was written and directed by Amazon based on how absolutely gorey it is. It’s chaotic, there’s limbs flying about, blood splattering everywhere, indistinguishable screams… chaos.

…

Some time later… after some well thought out canceling out of characters on each team…

…

The fighting has settled down, the sun begins to set. Some characters were worn down by the battle and died due to the climate rather at the hands of another character. Tripticon fell into this category because the metal machine simply got too bogged up by sand… L bozo transformer. All that is heard now are the deep breathing of the few remaining characters on each team…

God Emperor Leto leads Tom Bombadill, Beta Ray Bill, DC Thor, Chris Artrip, Julie Artrip, Loki, and Set.

Kwisatz Haderach leads Thor, Adam Warlock, Vision, Alia Atreides, Avatar Roku, and Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother #1-10.

The first to rest up and get back to their feet is Julie Artrip who begins frantically looking for her children. Too soon she finds their bodies, lifeless, “CHRIS!! HOW DARE YOU?!?! HOW COULD YOU NOT PROTECT OUR CHILDREN?!?! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!” Naturally, Chris is the one to blame for such a thing, and somehow with her itty bitty short body she is able to chokehold Chris into the air and snap the life from his neck. Then she goes into the ultimate fury and starts resisting the Reverend Mother’s voice and mows down half of them before Vision sends a beam through her heart. 

This starts a chain of events where Set snaps at vision. 

Thor Thunderbolts Set. 

DC Thor retaliates at Thor meaning Thor had killed Thor which in other words Thor died at the hands of Thor because Thor did the thing that killed Thor and now Thor is dead but also Thor is alive. 

But now Thor is also dead because Adam Warlock shoots through him which now it can be said that Thor is dead and Thor is dead and now no Thor is alive. 

Beta Ray Bill responds against the golden boy.

And then Roku ends Beta Ray Bill.

Tom Bombadill goes to stop Roku, but the being who is “master of wood, water, and hill” hath no more power here, for all that remains is the remains of this world. Instead, he walks away from the battle, disgusted with the state of this world.

Scar Jo’s peeps now need to overcome their biggest obstacle… the God Emperor. Before they could mount a proper attack, Leto’s tail whips around and strikes his father first. The Duke is truly dead. The remaining Reverend Mothers shout commands in the voice but they fall on deaf ears for they hold no power over the prescient being that is Leto who followed the Golden Path. The worm-like creature writhes around and tramples the common Bene Gesserit, as well as Avatar Roku. 

Although, Alia expected all of this to occur. She had prepped by covering herself in blood and hid amongst the fallen bodies so that Leto may look past her. And gosh darnit it worked because she just leaped out of nowhere and pushed a crysknife through the face of her own nephew…

Confusion sets in as for some reason the body is changing shape… oh my god it was Loki the whole time shapeshifted to appear as the God Emperor. The true Leto Atreides would never have fallen for suck trickery and comes forth to put Alia down. This was not the first rebel group that Leto has snuffed out, nor will it be the last.

One positive from this battle is that Tom Bombadill, with full control over his domains, has now started to repair the desolate world denoted as Wallach IX. Perhaps one day it will bloom into a new earth-like planet. Tom looks around to say, “I will call you… Middle Earth…”