FFL 2025 Week 8: Trash Pandas vs. The Sigmas

Cosby and Scar Jo’s Trash Pandas: Thor, Gandalf the White, Batgirl (Cassandra Cain), Naruto, Radagon, Peregrin Took and Pete Rose w/ a baseball bat

The Sigmas: Bane, Blake Corum, Tarnish, Dwealin, Duncan Idaho, Maverick, Goose, Iceman, Slider, John Rambo, Shadow the Hedgehog, Grand Slam and Femen #1-6

What an FFL match we have here today folks!! As we have a fierce interdivision match up today between the Trash Pandas and The Sigmas. These teams have made it quite known that they don’t like each other, so look out for that today folks. 

Today’s ball game takes place at the home of the Gritty, American League leading Detroit Tigers!! 

Comerica Park!!

Rod Allen joins me in the booth today.

The Trash Panda's are lined up on the third base line while The Sigmas are lined up on the first base line as the announcer calls for the removal of everyone’s caps as the singing of the National Anthem is to take place.

Jack White plays a solo guitar rendition of the anthem while a trio of F-22s do a flyover of the stadium on this sunny, brisk April Sunday afternoon.

The Sigmas will bat first while the Trash Pandas take the field as they are the home team today.

The Trash Pandas defensive lineup today goes as follows. Gandalf on the mound, Naruto in Left Center, Thor in Right Center, Radagon at First, Batgirl at Second, Pete Rose at Third/Short, & Peregrin at Catcher.

Shadow the Hedgehog leads off from the right hand batters box for The Sigmas, as Gandalf throws a sweeper that catches the outside corner of the plate. Rod, that sweeper is looking good today for Gandalf there. Rod says “Yeah Kyle, Gandalf’s been gifted a plus sweeper by the hand of Era Iluvatar.”

Second pitch comes to the plate and Shadow hits a hard one hopper directly to Pete Rose. Rose makes a quick throw across the diamond as Shadow was flying down the line. Oh what a play there Rod, Rose caught the one hopper right off the bounce and made an excellent throw there. Rod says “Yeah Kyle, Gandalf’s sinker caused that ground ball there. If Gandalf’s got that pitch working today, it’s gonna be a quick game today for the Trash Pandas.”

Maverick walks up to the plate and sets his stance in the right hand batters box. He sets his feet with a narrow and open stance. Gandalf starts his windup and hits a pitch high and inside on the fighter pilot, knocking Maverick to his butt as he dodges the pitch. Maverick is stunned as he almost gets hit there and starts bad mouthing Gandalf from the mound. The Sigmas dugout is now yelling to the ump, telling him to do something about this. The ump points at the Sigmas dugout and Gandalf, giving them both a warning. As the great Vin Scully once said, “Comerica Park has gone from a ball field to a school yard where the ump looks like a teacher that sees trouble.”

Maverick gets back in the box and recollects himself, as Gandalf starts the windup. 

BOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!

Folks, I don’t know what’s happened but, the infield and the dugouts have collapsed into the earth like some sort of sinkhole.

The Trash Pandas have lost Peregrin Took, Naruto, Radagon and Pete Rose.

While The Sigmas have lost Blake Corum, Tarnish, Dwalin, Maverick, Goose, IceMan, Slider, and their Fremen.

All of a sudden Bane and Grand Slam have been dropped off into centerfield from a helicopter as Gandlaf exclaims “you did this didn’t you?! You rigged the field with explosives?!”

“Yes” Bane states, “It was the only way I thought The Sigmas could win this lopsided match up, The Sigmas may have lost some of their own, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make”

Thor has lost patience with this conversation and calls for a thunderbolt to his hammer. He charges his hammer and shoots a bolt of lightning to Shadow and John Rambo. Immediately killing them.

Bane attacks Batrgirl, at first her nimbleness allows her to dodge some attacks from the strong masked man. But eventually he gets a hold of her and breaks her back over his knee like he did to her mentor. Then he grabs her neck and snaps it with ease.

Grand Slam shoots a rocket at Gandalf but he uses his power as the wielder of the flame of Anor to to create a force field around himself. Gandalf then calls for Thor to help. Thor calls for more lightning to his hammer and then shoots it at the transformer, Gandalf joins him by calling for a lightning strike to hit Grand Slam. The combination of both strikes melted every MOSFET and Capacitor in the transformer. Rendering him defeated.

Now all that stands is Bane and Duncan Idaho against Gandalf the White and Thor.

I wish I could say this was a close match but it was not.

Gandalf fought Duncan Idaho while Thor fought Bane.

Bane charged Thor and attacked with a couple furious combos but Thor was able to block and dodge all with ease. Thor then picked up Bane and used his hammer to fly a mile high up in the air. Thor then dropped Bane and let him fall to his death.

Duncan’s skill with a blade was impressive to Gandalf but eventually, Gandalf’s combo of blade and magic was too much for the warrior from House Atreides.

Gandalf and Thor walk out the park and head to Tin Roof for some nice ales to cap the night off.