2026 Week 5: Sigmas vs Sigmaz

Sigmas: Satoru Gojo, Griffith, Dio Brando, The Pillar Men (Kars, Esidisi, Wamuu, Santana), Su-Yin, Mon-Starr, Deadshot, Batman, Hawkman & Hawkwoman, Bane, Huntress, Duncan Idaho (final death), Gurney Halleck, Chani, Moneo Atreides, Rhombur Vernius in B-Wing, The Witch King of Angmar on Fell Beast, Smaug, Melkor, King Manwe, Varda, Tulkas, Nessa, The Black Order (Proxima Midnight, Black Dwarf, Corvus Glaive, Supergiant), Mr. Sinister, Darkhawk, Nightmare, Anakin Skywalker in TIE Dagger, Aatrox (final death), Percival de Rolo, Grog Strongjaw, Iron Hide

Sigmaz: Goku, Eren Yaeger, Gurren Lagann, Guts, Vash the Stampede (1998), Avatar Aang, Azula, Tai Lee, Mai, Lobo, Kratos (final death), Atreus, Fenrir, Rowena Ravenclaw, Death, The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers forming Megazord, The Straw Hats (Sanji, Zoro, Jimbe, Nico Robin, Franky), Malcolm X in Vibranium Suit w/ Green Lightsaber, Unabomber in Ironman Suit, Ronald McDonald w/ Rito Bow, Grimmace, Hamburgler, Officer Big Mac, Mayor McCheese, Birdie the Early Bird, Captain Crook, The Professor, Fry Kid #1, Fry Kid #3 (final death), Barack Obama, Adolf Hitler, The TMNT (Leonardo w/ Glock 35, Donatello w/ Glock 21, Michelangelo w/ Glock 38, Raphael w/ Glock 20), Grimlok, Slag, Sludge, Snarl, Swoop, God Emperor of Mankind 40K, Brightburn, Radahn, Doomguy w/ BFG, Spawn, Solomon Grundy, Huzz #1, Domestic Terrorist #1

Sigmas vs Sigmaz, huzz vs chuzz, skibidi vs toilet, rizzler vs aura farmer… many names have been spoken in regard to this rivalry. Once brothers, now sworn enemies who must face each other in the largest setting possible…

This planet’s integrity is instantly challenged from a sky fracturing battle. Melkor clashes with God Emperor of Mankind 40K, Saturo Gojo activates infinity (whatever that means) and battles Goku answering with ultra instinct (also no idea what this is), and Nightmare faces Death. Meanwhile, the remaining Valar are trying to stabilize the destruction being laid down. I fear these fights might take a while, let’s come back to this later.

The streets are filled with so many bad guys that Batman has teamed up with once villains, Bane and Deadshot. A coordinated attack takes down the Ronald McDonald crew. The TMNT fight back and are able to land a Glock shot to Deadshot’s head, but not long after Bane handles the meer turtles. Hawkman, Hawkwoman, and Huntress aid Batman as an approaching group of Straw Hats grow nearer. They battle, anime stuff happens, the Pillar men come to support, more anime stuff happens, Guts and Vash the Stampede appear, anime stuff again happens, Griffith joins in battle against Guts, anime yet again is occurring… only Batman remains.

To the vast desert, many Dune characters alongside Smaug and the Witch King on his fell beast are in chaotic battle against the Power Rangers as Megazord, numerous transformers, and the great beast Fenrir. The Sigmas characters put up a good fight as Duncan makes use of his last life to take down many transformers and even toss a dagger at Megazord to take out the green power ranger. Although, Megazord is the only one to be standing at the end of this sand fight. Not long after, Anakin Skywalker in his TIE Dagger makes a bombing run and takes down the rainbow group. Kratos and Atreus are enraged by the cute puppy’s death and takedown Anakin.

Back to the cityscape, the Black Order simply watches as the Sigmaz reign down their own destruction. Unabomber is braindead and kills himself in the Ironman suit and manages to only kill off teammates Malcolm X and Barack Obama. Hitler also decides to take his own life, the shot of his bullet not only pierces his head, but also somehow oneshots Radahn (a lot of people probably wish they could’ve had a Glock to fight Radahn). Moving on, Black Order and Mr. Sinister duel Lobo and the Avatar peeps. Lobo is a sicko and is tearing up the Sigmas crew, but the Black Order shifts focus to takedown the Avatar and his mates. Not long after Lobo is the only one standing.

Shifting to Second street, Solomon Grundy and Spawn are making quite the dead duo. Enough to takedown Mon-Starr, Percival de Rolo, and Grog Stronjaw. Brightburn and Doomguy aid their teammates by shooting their respective blasts, heat vision and BFG, their marks heading for Aatrox and Batman, but Dio Brando is able to stop the time. The Sigmas are able to make their move on frozen enemies, Aatrox ends Grundy permanently and Batman uses the metal of Brightburn’s ship to impale the kid through his chest. Time can no longer be held still by Dio Brando, and Doomguy takes another shot with his BFG that is able to end Brando.

Each team retreats to gather their troops.

Let’s look back at this reality warping fight we started with… oh they all canceled each other out and brought death upon all of them. Okay cool, I guess.

Remaining Huzz are Batman, Darkhawk, Aatrox, and Su-Yin. Remaining Chuzz are Eren Yaeger, Gurren Lagann, Lobo, Kratos, Atreus, Rowena Ravenclaw, Doomguy, and Spawn. A bit lopsided coming down the stretch, but never count Batman out. Which in this case means he does some anti-anime stuff and kills both Eren Yaeger and Gurren Lagann. Doomguy shoots his BFG towards Darkhawk, but he evades and uses his own energy blasts to end Doomguy and blast through Spawn standing behind him. Lobo and Kratos have seen enough of this and each punch Darkhawk in the head from either side simultaneously. Aatrox tries to battle the two, but is only able to take Lobo down with him.

Batman, alongside the youngest daughter of the legendary Toph Beifong, faces Kratos and Atreus with an out of place Rowena Ravenclaw. The legend is with her mother, not Su-Yin, and Atreus shoots an arrow through her head. Rowena Ravenclaw panics, “Avada Kedavra”, towards a battered Batman, but not before he lets a final batarang loose towards the chuzz…