Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Untouchables Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade

The Untouchables are Ra's Al Ghul (designated leader), Megatron, Duncan Idaho ghola #9, Deadpool, Orc #23, The Atom, The Constructicons, Malficent, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Fremen #43-54, Griffin #4 & 9, & Army Soldier #76-85.

Le' Napoleon Brigade is Allia Atreides (designated leader), Hecate, Duncan Idaho (Mentat) ghola #12, Atreides Soldier #1-10, Even Piel, Evil Lynn, Karg, Skeletor's Crack Troop #1-5, Obi Wan Kenobi, Alan Scott, Army Soldier #101-118, Skyfire, Silver Dragon #1-3, & John Mclaine.

Allia Atreides and Ra's Al Ghul have both decided that their dessert/leadership skills will be best used by actually leading their ground troops into battle. Ra's, who has the smaller force by about half has basically told his soldiers to follow the Fremen's lead. Allia who has warned her troops to not be to excited about their larger numbers, knows exactly what the Fremen are capable of considering that she is one of them. Ra's Al Ghul's 12 Fremen, 10 Americans, and 1 Ork hold their position as Allia's 10 Atreides, 5 Crack Troops, and 18 Americans simply throw caution to the wind and charge (there team is French after all). Duncan Idaho squares off against Duncan Idaho, but it is a fairly quick battle. The Mentat version of the old Atreides weapons master has calculated every move that his slower self could have possibly done and then used his super human speed to stick the slow blade through the shield of Idaho #9 and stab him in the heart. Maleficent turns into a huge dragon and takes to the air in order to do battle with the 3 silver dragons. She mows through the fire that is blown at her and then easily takes out the dragons 1 by 1, not by the use of fire but by biting their necks. She comes out on top but is very hurt by the attacks of the 3 smaller dragons. She is then taken out by a missle from Skyfire. Megatron is about to take to the air with the plan to take on Skyfire when he notices a much bigger threat. Hecate, who is fitted in her largest walking robot form is coming towards the great decepticon leader. Megatron blasts the huge titan with his arm cannon but the artillery does not penetrate her computer controlled shielding devices. Megatron screams "then I will crush you with my bear hands" as he flies in close to the gigantic cymek. Megatron goes to punch Hecate but Hecate grabs the decepticon with 2 huge claws and throws him on the ground. She then opts for the use of a monstrous flame-thrower/saw blade combo which she uses to start doing major amounts of damage to Megatron. She is about to pull the transformer in closer to finish him off when Megatron notices a little pink thing protected inside the casing of the huge robot. Megatron uses his left hand to punch the center of Hecate's machinery and widen the hole. He then, right before Hecate can finish him off uses his arm cannon to shoot inside the hole and destroy the human brain that is controlling the every move of Hecate. Deadpool is locked in a fierce fight with Even Piel. Deadpool has given up on projectile weapons due to the Lannikk warrior's amazing ability to block everything with his lightsaber. Deadpool, who is driving the Jedi Master crazy with his constant banter has decided that this crazy looking short guy with the gnarly scar is possibly one of the coolest people he has ever met. Master Piel wants to hate the mercenary but he can't help but respect his fighting style. Even Piel stabs Deadpool in the leg and in the side, narrowly missing any internal organs. Piel, who does not realize that Deadpool has an accelerated healing factor is completely clueless as to how a person could take that kind of punishment, and is even more suprised when Deadpool who has lost his sword takes out a hidden throwing star and throws it right through Even Piel's one good eye, killing him. Skyfire flies by and does a strafing run on the Constructicons which makes them decide to merge to form Devastator. At seeing the 6 huge robots form an ever huger robot Alan Scott decides he should go and lend a hand. Meanwhile the infantry battle rages on with the Fremen killing more than their fair share of soldiers. The battlefield is strewn with bodies with every army soldier (from both sides) dead. Out of the 12 Fremen, only Fremen #1,5, & 6 remain alive after they kill Karg, the last Crack Troop, and last Atreides Soldier. Allia Atreides, who is just as good in the sand as any Fremen manages to bypass every well-placed swing of Ra's Al Ghul's sword and to sneak her crysknife into the throat of the Egyptian swordsmen. Fremen #5 then turns to his fellow survivors and says "Shai Halud has sent another Fremen to fight us" Fremen #1 replies with "She is only a woman and we are 3 of the best Fremen men". This sexist comment in no way offends the Reverend Mother/Fremen abomination; in fact she does not even bother to wait until she is does laughing hysterically to slaughter the 3 Fremen men. Green Arrow and Black Canary are enjoying their view from the air as they ride on the 2 griffins. They swoop down in an attempt to get a quick and easy kill off the non-superpowered human on the ground; but John Mclaine is tougher than he looks as he grabs onto the griffin carrying Black Canary and swings himself on top. The 2 griffins fly higher and higher into the air as Mclaine says "John what the f*@* are you doing on the back of this half lion/half eagle". The seasoned New York cop then grabs Black Canary and throws her off of the creature. In the heat of the moment and without even thinking he starts shooting his Beretta into the back of the griffin's head. This kills the very creature that is keeping him up in the air causing him to say "dumb f@#$%g idea John". He then starts plummeting to his death but on the way down he sees Green Arrow taking aim at Obi Wan Kenobi who is down on the ground attempting to keep up with the Atom. John, knowing that he is going to be dead soon takes aim with his Beretta and says "say hello to your partner for me", as he shoots Green Arrow in the chest. Skyfire and Alan Scott are both trying to shoot at Devastator without getting to close to the gestalt when Devastator goes running toward them, and with his mighty fist knocks Skyfire right out of the air and then crushes him into the ground. The Golden Age Green Lantern realizes that his energy blasts are not having the desired effect on the huge decepticon, so with his ring he picks the heap of metal that was once Skyfire and throws it at Devastator, killing 3 of the Constructicons and breaking apart Devastator. While they are trying to regroup Alan Scott creates a meteor-like ball of green energy that takes out 2 more of the Constructicons. The Atom flies by Evil Lynn's head on the way to doing more fighting with Obi-Wan and punches her in the head. This causes more than enough head trauma to kill her. The Atom and Obi Wan engage in a really annoying fight where they are both to fast to be hit by the other one. Obi Wan attempts to force push the tiny titan but he is even fast enough to dodge that. The Atom tries to punch out Obi Wan much like he did to Evil Lynn but Obi Wan uses his Jedi reflexes to dodge the attack. Obi Wan, as the Atom is flying by his head does his patented lightsaber spin move which catches the miniscule hero on the downswing and cuts him in half. Obi Wan, who would love to have a couple of seconds to rest is not awarded such a luxury as Allia and Duncan Idaho are running past him saying "come on, we need your help". He joins them in their plan to triple team Deadpool as Allia tells Alan Scott to "start flying and kill that last griffin". Deadpool delays taking on the 3 of them because he is busy creating a new motto: "How can you get yourself killed if you retreat". After he utters this crazy mantra he attacks the 3 super-powered beings and puts up quite an amazing effort before Duncan Idaho is actually forced to use Obi Wan's lightsaber to kill him (I told you it was a crazy fight). Alan Scott is successful and the last Constructicon decides that retreat is his best option when he hears his Decepticon leader utter the words "I still function". The Constructicon flies over to the huge heap of metal that was the setting for the Megatron/Hecate battle and picks him up; the 2 Decepticons flee the battlefield.
LE' NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!

3 comments:

Archr5 said...

Here I was thinking Otto Han and Fritz Strassman split the atom in '38.

apparently it was obi wan...

who knew?!

Artifact said...

Go National League! I told Ya'll we were better.

And a perfect prediction for me.

Damn, I'm cool

Josh the Commish said...

A Han and Stassman joke! How great is that!