Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Match of the Week: Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches Vs. Team

Beckerman's Backyardigan's Beeyatches are Pablo (designated leader), Mer-Man, Trident, Krypto, & Sharkticon #1-10.



Team is Superman (designated leader), Godzilla, Sharkticon #47-50, Seapray, Emerald Weapon, Phibian #1 & 2, Jack Lalane, & Mr. Crabs.



Pablo the penguin decides that since the Backyardigan's enforcer Darth Vader is not present at this battle, he is not going to be able to simply instruct the team but that he must lead by example, but not before he reminds his team of what they must do to hold off Superman. He swims up to Mr. Crabs which then sparks what will forever be known as "the greatest fight that nobody will ever care about". Pablo and Mr. Crabs at first dodge each others attacks but once Mr. Crabs goes in for the kill and misses with his claw it opens him up to be brutally pecked to death by the Backyardigan Penguin. Jack Lalane is actually forced to cut short his yawn to grab Pablo and break his neck. The 10 Sharkticons move against the 4 Sharkticons and Seaspray but since the Sharkticons strength lies primarily in their ability to swarm and outnumber an opponent the Autobot and the smaller Sharkticon squad put up not much of a fight as they rip the outnumbered Transformers apart just as they were created to do on their way to the bigger threat of Godzilla. Krypto dives underneath the water and along with his teammate the self-proclaimed perfect speciman Trident they attack Emerald Weapon. Emerald Weapon attempts to blast the 2 incoming attackers with his shoulder mounted cannons but Trident is able to dodge his blasts while Krypto is able to avoid any major hits and rolls with some of the smaller scrapes that he is dealt. Krypto then swims right into the shoulders of the Emerald Weapon to disable its attack while Trident uses his mighty 3 pronged weapon of the same name to stab the Emerald Weapon and destroy it. In a somewhat evenly matched fight the the 2 Phibians work togeather to try to defeat Mer-Man. They stab at Mer-Man with their spears but he grabs the spear of Phibian #1 and pulls him in close to cut off his head with his sword made of crustaceans and then uses the spear to stab Phibian #2 in the heart. The 10 Sharkticons swarm the larger Godzilla but Godzilla fights back. The giant monster starts killing the Sharkticons off one by one but becomes severely weakened as his reptile skin is pretty vulnerable to the razor sharp giant metal teeth of the Quintasson's basically brainless yet ruthless creations. The powerfull Godzilla with a combination of his firey breath and powerfull appendages kills all but 2 of the Sharkticons before they finish him off, but although they are victorious they do not survive for much longer as Superman flies in to melt Sharkticon #3 with an intense dose of heat vision and to punch the head of Sharticon #9 right off. Superman met with his head coach the Oracle just before the match and she instructed him about as plainly as she ever speaks. She told him that he would face opponents who would feel much more at home in this particular setting than he would but despite that slight disadvantage they would still be more than beatable for the Man of Steel. She told him that his skills and ability were in no way in question but that victory for their team was because a choice was going to be laid before him that only he could make. She reminded him that it was choice that made him a hero instead of a villain and choice that made him a leader instead of a follower and that he should rely on his own ability to distinguish what is right and wrong and whether or not his values can be twisted to help the cause of their team. The last son of Krypton had basically put this strange conversation out of his mind as he begins racing toward the water's surface faster than a speeding bullet to dive in and do battle with foes that he views as not even close to his caliber. Before he goes head first into the water he uses his X-ray vision to peer deep below the water's surface in an attempt to see what he is getting into when he notices his own dog Krypto, who has been put into a net by his own 2 evil teammates just as the Ruthless head coach Hanibal of Crete and the evil Backyardigans had planned. Krypto can sustain the rigors of water for quite a while but he cannot hold his breath forever which is why the poor dog is struggling to get free of his watery prison. Trident and Mer-Man seem to be actually enjoying the Micheal Vick-like torture of their own teammate as Superman uses his super hearing to barely make out Trident yelling that if he wants his dog to live he had better retreat. At this point it doesn't matter that he is the Man of Steel, what matters is that Krypto is man's best friend which is why Superman makes the choice he does and retreats, grabbing Jack Lalane on his way out and allowing Krypto to swim back up to the surface after Trident and Mer-Man let him go for some much needed oxygen.
BECKERMAN'S BACKYARDIGANS: BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!

3 comments:

Ryan said...

I may have lost this week, but so did Ed. Thanks Beckerman. But you got lucky this week. That was some pretty devious tactics your team had to resort to... I respect that.

Artifact said...

Evil is as evil does. You don't see dirty shit like that in the NL.

-fizz

Solobeck said...

Team:

Respect and honor is held by us for you. . .
-B2