Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Consolation Match-Round 2: Alice's Wonder Team Vs. Better Than All of You

Alice's Wonder Team is Kimbo Slice

Better Than All of You is Ric Flair

“We should do this more often man, this has been great” a very delighted Rick Flair said to the rough, but sensitive Kimbo Slice. “I know man, I know I should want to kill you right now, but I just don’t feel the need to resort to violence at this time” Kimbo said to Flair.
“I know what you mean man. We’ve been in this bus for hours now and I still do not want you dead”.
“Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look like the dude from 48 hours?”
“You mean Nick Nolte? Yes, I get it all the time. You know what is funny though?
“What Rick?”
“Is the fact that you look like Nick Nolte as well. The funny part is that you look like him from that mug shot photo.”
Both of the fighters laugh out loud and keep on carrying on like the oldest of friends.
“Hey Rick, I have an idea, let’s just both concede the match and take a draw”.
“You know what Kimbo, that is a great idea. In fact, let’s just do it”.
Just then the glove box opened up and a piece of paper flew out of it. The paper reads as follows:
Hey Rick and Kimbo, it sounds like you’ve been enjoying your ride a little too much so far. We heard about your idea of making this match a draw and after very little consideration, we’ve decided to make a draw impossible. To make sure that this draw does not occur, we have taken over control of the bus, locked all the doors and in approximately 5 minutes you will smash into a brick wall. We know that this sounds like suicide for the both of you, but we are fairly confidant that one of you will come out unharmed. Anyways, I hope you both enjoy the remainder of your trip. Good luck to the victor.
-Josh and Ryan.
Both Kimbo and Flair looked very disappointed by this letter, as they did not want to fight each other.
“Well this is a bummer, I really didn’t want this to end bloody”.
“Either did I Rick, I really hate it that Fantasy Fantasy League always has to resort to violence. I wish that it was more about the mind of the members instead of just the physical aspect of them.”
“I couldn’t agree more Kimbo. In fact, we should just both crash into this wall together and just leave it at that.”
“You know what Rick, I’m with you. I mean, they put air bags in this thing so we should both survive the crash.’
“You’re right Kimbo, alright, let’s do this.”
Rick and Kimbo both buckle their seat belts and brace themselves for the crash that is coming up very soon.
“Kimbo, I think I can see the wall now. I would just like to say that I had a really great time today. We should do lunch sometime.”
“Absolutely Rick, in fact I can’t wait for it.”
As the mini-bus raced towards the brick wall, Rick looked at the dash in front of him and noticed something that had a key slot on it. He read it more closely and it noticed it said, “Passenger Air Bag Shut-Off Switch”. Rick thought to himself about whether or not he should turn it off and let Kimbo die but he just couldn’t do it.
“Well, I’ll see you around sometime Rick” Kimbo said to the retired wrestler.
“Yeah you will, though I have a feeling you are not going to be too happy to see me”
Just as Flair says this he stick the bus key into the Air Bag Shut-Off Switch, disabling Kimbo Slices air bag from turning on. Kimbo takes a look at this and gives the former heavy weight champion a look of fury. The look didn’t last very long as the mini-bus crashed into the brick wall. Kimbo Slice smashed his head on the dashboard, which broke his neck in the process. Flair was knocked out by the collision and both of his legs were broken, but after a couple of minutes he woke up and looked over at his short-lived friend.
“Well Kimbo, I guess that is what you get for trusting one of Vince’s boys. I’ll see you on the other side.”
Flair then crawled out of the bus and crawled his way back to his teams’ headquarters. It was be a long trip home, but a very satisfying one at least.

Better Than All of You is Victorious!

3 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Damn, Josh and Ryan sure are jerks. Great job Nick.

Ryan said...

No draws. Ever. Wooooooooooo!

Joe said...

Woo! That's all I have.