Sunday, June 1, 2008

Consolation Match-Round 2: Reign Supremacy Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

Reign Supremacy is Paul Coffey, Ewok #49, & Ewok #51.

Brock's boys are Mystery Inc: Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, & Scooby-Doo, w/ Scooby-Dumb, & Ewok #5.

In the most monotone voice you have ever heard, Paul Coffey continues to drive his point home to Fred, that he should be the one to drive the van. He explains to Fred that since he owns many car dealerships in Canada, that it is only natural that he be the one to drive the 68’ Volkswagen Mini-Bus. Fred of course being the pilot of the Mystery Van thinks otherwise. “Come on Fred, just sit in the back with me and Scoob. I mean, like who cares who drives this thing. As long as I can have my marshmallow and bbq sandwich, I don’t care who drives” a very laid back Shaggy says to Fred.
After another couple of minutes of arguing, Fred finally concedes the point to the four time Stanley Cup winner. The seating arraignment in the van is quite cramped, as there are a total of ten people in this contest. Paul Coffey and Fred are in the front two seats while Daphne and Velma are stuck in the back with Shaggy, both Scooby’s and the three Ewoks who have instantly forgotten that they are on opposite teams.
As soon as the van takes off Scooby and Shaggy take out a glass bong that has been molded into the shape of Scooby’s annoying cousin, Scrappy Doo. They light the bong up and soon enough they begin blowing the smoke into the faces of the Ewoks. The Ewoks, who up until this point had been jumping up and down in the back of the van, were now lying down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling.
The two up at the front of the van were having a very uninteresting conversation about hockey, since that is all Paul Coffey knows about. All of a sudden though, Paul Coffey lets go of the stirring wheel. Fred looks at him like he crazy, but then he looks at the wheel and notices that it is still steering. Just as this happens the glove box opens up and out drops a white piece of paper. Paul Coffey looks down at the letter and looks at Fred in the most boring manner possible and says, “What is it?” Fred picks up the letter and reads it to Coffey, who is hoping was is the latest sales reports for the first quarter from his dealership. The letter read as follows:
Hello folks, I am sure by now that you realize that this van is no longer being controlled by anyone of you. From here on out, it will be driven by us. If that is too vague for you, we are sorry, we’re not explaining anymore about the logistics of how this van can control itself. Anyways, we would just like to tell you that the object of this trip is have all but one of you die. Yes, you are going to have to kill each other. That also goes for people on the same team. The match will not end until there is one person left. Good luck to all of you and have a nice trip. Oh, by the way, the weed that is being smoked right now has been laced with special chemicals that have some pretty nasty side effects. Two of which being rage and death. Again, Good luck to all and have a very safe trip.
-FFL
“Huh” says an emotionless Paul Coffey. “I guess this means we are going to have to kill each other. Should we tell everyone else about this?” Fred looks over at Coffey and gives him a look that suggests he should not utter a word of this. “We need to keep this secret, we are going to cause a panic if people hear something like this” a very disturbed Fred says to Coffey.
“I don’t know if that will cause a panic Fred, though I’m pretty positive that this will”. Just as Coffey says this to Fred, he jam’s a sharpened down mini hockey stick into the neck of the ascot wearing Fred. Fred begins to violently jerk around in his seat while blood is gushing out of the side of his neck. Fred instinctively gets out of his seat and falls onto Velma who is screaming while blood is pouring over her entire body. “Why the hell did you do that Mr. Coffey? I can’t believe that you killed Fred” Daphne says in a rather unfazed tone. “Though now that the front seat is open, I might as well join you up there.” Daphne gets up and moves into the seat where her former lover was sitting.
When she gets into the seat she sees the piece of paper and says, “What’s this? Ooh, it’s a letter. I wonder if it mentions me in it?” She reads over the letter and looks back at Velma, who has finally pushed the now dead body of Fred off to the side and says, “Velma, I don’t need your help or anything, but if you could read this letter for me and explain it to me I don’t think I will be confused anymore.” Velma first looks at her with disgust and then snatches the letter from her hand and reads it over. “If this letter is correct then we are all going to have to kill each other and Shaggy, Scoobs and the Ewoks are all going to go into some sort of Bezerker rage in the next coming moments.”
Daphne still looks at Velma with a confused look on her face and says, “I still don’t understand, what does it mean? Velma looks at the very good-looking red head and says, “It means I finally get to kill you, you dumb red headed bitch.” As soon as she finishes saying this to Daphne, she grabs the Scrappy Doo bong that Shaggy was smoking out of, breaks it on the ground and with one of the pieces of glass from it, slices the throat of the extremely stupid Daphne. In fact, she sliced her throat and then repeatedly stabbed her in the stomach until Shaggy grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the very dead Daphne.
“Like what did you do that for? Daphne didn’t do anything wrong.” Exclaimed Shaggy.
“Oh like she didn’t have that coming. But listen to me Shaggy very closely. Somebody messed with your stash. You smoked some bad stuff a while ago and very soon you are going to lose your mind and very possibly die. So you need to concentrate really hard and try to stay with me. If you don’t we are all going to die". As soon she says this, an Ewok runs up to her and sticks his wooden spear into the shin of Velma, who lets out a shriek that can be heard through out the fantasy fantasy landscape. She falls to the ground and passes out.
Paul Coffey who has remained in the drivers seat has managed to stay out of this match, despite the fact that he is the one who started it. Things were about to change though as the effects of the weed were about to completely take over the rest of the van’s passengers. Suddenly, all of the Ewoks, who were now all naked as they had taken all of their clothes off, started to lose their minds. They all started chanting unreckagnizable words at the top of their lungs. Scooby himself also started to foam at the mouth and lunged himself at one of the Ewoks. Scooby then began to violently tear apart the Ewok, who was not lucid enough to even react to the crazed dog. Scooby then began to eat the dead body of the Ewok, spraying blood everywhere in the van. “Well that’s what I call a Scooby Snack,” a still coherent Shaggy said.
Scooby then looked over at his cousin Scooby dumb and bit him in the neck. Scooby dumb then fell to the ground. Out of nowhere an Ewok threw one of his spears at Scooby Doo but he missed, smashing the back window out of the mini-bus. Then Scooby picked up Scooby Dumb by the scruff of his dead neck and threw him out of the moving bus. Scooby Dumb’s dead body fell out of the bus and hit the ground, splattering blood all over the pavement. The sight was enough to make even the most avid animal hater to cringed in horror.
Then out of nowhere Shaggy was hit in the back of the head with the butt end of Paul Coffey’s sharpened hockey stick. As soon as Shaggy fell to the ground, another one of the crazed Ewok’s ran over to Shaggy’s head and started to stab it with his spear. Shaggy was close to death when Scooby noticed this happening to his best friend. Scooby, though crazed, still knew who Shaggy was and went over to help him by literally biting the head of the Ewok off. Scooby then fell to the ground and dropped the head of the Ewok onto the ground as the body still stood there, while blood was pouring over top of where is head once sat. Scooby then knelt over his friend Shaggy and with what little sense he still had turned him over to see if he was still alive. Shaggy then opened his eyes and screamed at his best friend and with one swift move, grabbed the spear out of the Ewoks hand and stabbed it into the chest of Scooby Doo. The now crazed Shaggy had a severe head wound, which was going to limit his effectiveness, as he was most likely going to die in the next coming moments.
The stab to the chest of Scooby Doo shocked the now dying dog, wondering how his best friend could ever do such a thing. Scooby, now realizing that death was now becoming him as well fell to the ground and cried his final minutes out as he looked into the eyes of Shaggy who was lying right next to him. With both Shaggy and Scooby now dead the very confident Paul Coffey got out of his seat to over look the wreckage that had overtaken the bus. Paul walked in the back of the bus when he saw an Ewok still standing in the back of the bus. He took out his sharpened stick and charged at the Ewok. The Ewok saw this attack coming and picked the head of the dead Ewok up and threw it at Paul Coffey. The head hit Coffey square in his nose, knocking him over. Coffey saw stars on the hit but soon enough, he was back on his feet looking for the Ewok. He saw nothing but soon felt a sharp pain in the back of his leg. He looked down and saw a piece of glass sticking out of it.
He reached over to pick the piece of glass out of his leg, but as soon as he did this he saw the Ewok out of the corner of his eye. He then made a quick move to his left but it was to late. The Ewok had already thrown one spear at the washed up Hockey player, piercing his once powerful thighs. This knocked the former Hartford Whaler to the ground, setting himself up perfectly for one last spear through the eye. The silver lining to all of this though, is that right before he received the spear to the eye, he noticed that the Ewok coming at him had a #51 branded onto his leg. This look familiar to him, as Coffey knew that he was a member of his team. This came as a relief to him, since despite the fact that he was going to die, he at least knew that his team was going to win. The Ewok then dealt the final blow to ex-Phoenix Coyotes assistant coach, which gave Ewok #51 the victory Reign Supremacy needed.
Or so he thought.
The bus should have stopped but it kept on going. The Ewok not being in the right state of mind did not understand what was going on, therefore never knowing that he should be excited because of his apparent victory. It was then that the Ewok started to go into convulsions and started to foam at the mouth. This went on for a good minute before Ewok #51 died, chocking on his own foam and vomit. The Ewok then fell to the ground, leaving the bus silent and devoid of life. Just then the bus started to slow down and come to a stop. All of the doors swung wide open and nothing happened. Then after several minutes of silence, there was movement right behind the front seat of the passenger’s side of the bus. Velma sat up in agony, but very far from death. She still had the spear sticking out of her shin, but she was very much alive. She woke up during the Shaggy and Scooby fight, but decided to stay down due to the fact that she knew the poisonous weed would eventually kill everyone off anyway. As she scooted herself out of the van and onto the ground, she smelled the sweet spring air and breathed in a big sigh of relief, knowing that once and for all her brains were the reason why she had survived the blood bath.

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Victorious!

13 comments:

Lickolas said...

Sorry again for another novel, I am really trying to shorten these things.

Josh the Commish said...

Keep them as long as you want Nick. Great job!

Josh the Commish said...

Oh and congrats Mike G., Mystery Inc. comes through for you again.

ematejoca said...

How did you find me?
I am very pleased of it.
Do you like the painter Henri Rousseau?
I write your language badly, but I
understand the most of it.
Have you written this story? I will read it carefully later on.

Lickolas said...

We've gone international. I hope you enjoy the site.

Or if it is a joke, nice job to whoever did it.

Josh the Commish said...

Yes ematejoca, I do appreciate Henri Rousseau. I am glad you replied to my post, I was afraid you would not understand it, I am sorry to say that I do not understand your language at all but I still did enjoy your blog. Thank you for visting ours.

ematejoca said...

Yesterday I posted a picture of Charles Thomas. Did you see it?
Do you like it? I also posted a poem from Emily Dickinson. Do you know her? Today I will post a poem of my own. But you will like the picture.

Next time I will speak about your criminal story.

The like the pictures from Ryan, three of them I like very much. Tell him that.

See you later!

ematejoca said...

I am hier again. Today I posted a poem from a portuguese poet named António Gadeao. Do not be afraid, it is just a translation. I hope you like it. But I think that people who like Henri Rousseau must also like poesy.

I am curious of your comment!!!

ematejoca said...

About your comment in my blog.
Of course not!!!
Emily Dickinson died 1874 in US Bundesstaat Massachusetts.
Charles Thomas is still alive.
I will post something about him in your language.

Nevertheless, I love your comments.

Josh the Commish said...

Oh! ... my bad???

ematejoca said...

I did not want to be rude.
Sorry, sorry, sorry!
But I spend much time to find a poem which suits Charles Thomas´ picture.
Your comment it was sweeet.

:):):)

Josh the Commish said...

Don't be sorry, I'm the dumbass that thought the poem was from the 1800's, I should be apologizing to Charles Thomas for thinking he died before his grandfather was born.

Timmell said...

If you guys need a toyota go to
www.paulcoffeysboltontoyota.com