Monday, March 2, 2009

George Washington's Slaves Vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade

George Washington’s Slaves are Yoda, Wedge & R5-D4 in an X-Wing, Martian Manhunter, Neo, Trinity, Al Dawg, & Cosmo Kramer.

Le’ Napoleon Brigade is Wonder Woman & Wonder Girl, Poison Ivy, Gandalf the Gray, Guy Gardner (w/ Sinestro’s Yellow Ring), Aeon Flux, Ron Meyer, & Lala.


Last season’s battle between the big 2 of The Fizzle Divizzle led to the 4 game benching of Slave star and #1 draft pick Jedi Master Yoda and also led to the front line status of Martian Manhunter, but despite that past drama these two green warrior philosopher friends stand at each other’s sides in the dense Valverdi landscape as this battle begins. Wedge patrols the area in the only battle format he truly feels comfortable in, a cockpit. Wedge is a loyal soldier but he is not known for his fighting prowess outside of a starship, but now that he is able to help out his team inside an X-Wing his abilities are of great use. Neo & Trinity, despite being pulled from the festivities and traded from last years Universe Bowl Champions are excited about fighting alongside their new teammates. The Slaves calmly await the beginning of the battle, having no illusions that rival Head Coach Napoleon Bonaparte will have some stealth like plan awaiting when they are taken off guard by an intense battle cry. “AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Why won’t you stay dead”! Screams the shovel wielding Ron Meyer as he rushes toward Al Dawg. Ron wasn’t about to make the same mistake as he did in the play-offs last year which is why he goes in for the kill early and takes out the man so fine that they buried him nine (times that is). Kramer, who had quite a bit of fun with the Dogg throughout the off-season becomes overcome with rage as he attacks Ron Meyer. “Where I come from you would be hanging from a tree with a pitch fork up your a**”! Cosmo says as he wraps a noose around Meyer’s neck and strangles the life out of Al Dizzle’s killizzler; but just then the first wave of the Brigade comes storming in. Kramer looks up just in time to make an insane face and yell something that sounded kind of like “BLAGGAGH” as Gandalf jacked him in his dome knocking him into the loosely dug grave of his buddy Al Dog forming the new Posthumous P’ N’ C Crew. Gandalf is followed closely by Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, & Aeon Flux (with Lala on her shoulder) into the battle. The next wave is the organic mess that is thrust into the fray by Poison Ivy who remains behind her team morphing the entire Valverdi landscape to her will. Aeon Flux moves toward Trinity who instantly knocks Lala off her shoulder and then bicycle kicks the fur ball to its death without ever taking away from her amazing pink cuteness. Neo shoots a crap load of bullets at Gandalf and friends but the Gray Wizard and the amazon princess block them with their respective staffs & wrist bands. Martian Manhunter than squares off against Gandalf instead with Neo attempting to take on both Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl at once. Yoda somersaults out of the way of this pending battle and starts to run and jump his way through the attacking foliage so he can make his way to the root of the problem (get it) Poison Ivy. Despite the fact that Poison Ivy got the best of him last time the little green Jedi is not afraid as he ducks and dodges her initial attacks. He knows that it is his duty to fight this opponent and it in no way has anything to do with any kind of revenge factor after what happened last time (after all Jedi don’t take revenge they only return). Meanwhile high above the landscape an intense dog fight has begun between Guy Gardner and Wedge. Guy Gardner with his gift of flight is an extremely small target and much more maneuverable than an entire ship but Wedge is after all one of the most skilled X-Wing pilots in the galaxy. Guy Gardner continually tries to hit the ship with blasts of yellow energy but the Rogue Squadron pilot dodges every one of them. Wedge blasts Gardner with some of his high powered lasers but Guy gets a yellow energy field up just in time to block any of the projectiles. Guy Gardner then finds himself in front of the fast moving X-Wing which is a position he in no way likes so he flips around in mid-air and once again begins chasing the ship. The former green lantern then focuses all of his energy into one big blast toward the X-Wing. Wedge takes evasive action but the blast does still make slight contact which takes out R5-D4 (which is a real bummer because Santa Claus just fixed his motivator last week). Wedge barely gets his ship out of the way when the proton torpedo that he had fired a couple seconds earlier makes contact with its small unguarded target (good thing Rogue Leader Luke taught him how he used to bulls eye wamprats in his T-16 back home). Back on the ground Yoda is only about 10 feet away from Poison Ivy as he continues to jump his way through the tangled mess of organic assailants when Poison Ivy once again traps the little Jedi as she causes a root to rip out of the ground beneath him and grab a hold of his legs. Over the last 800 years Yoda had taught countless Padawans and Younglings; always instructing them that the art of lightsaber throwing is actually not an art at all. It is simply a move of an overzealous attacker. He always taught that the lightsaber in the hands of a skilled Jedi can defend against hundreds of opponents when a thrown lightsaber can only defeat one. The thought of how many times he has said that over the years is what brings a smirk to the face of the trapped Jedi as he throws his green lightsaber right into the heart of Poison Ivy not only killing her but also causing all of the greenery around him to go back to its normal dormant form. Aeon Flux does not truly realize how mismatched she actually is against the former computer nerd as she attempts a forward flip over the top of Trinity. Trinity then jumps into the air feet first and kicks the Monican spy in the stomach. Once down on the ground Trinity brings a powerful heel kick down onto Flux’s face which kills her on impact. John Jonnz and Mithrandir continue their battle with each other when the Manhunter tries to establish a mental link with the wizard. Little does the last surviving Martian know that Gandalf has had his fair share of fighting off powerful mind control. This momentary mental link that the 2 of them share ends up being the down fall of Martian Manhunter as it is revealed to Gandalf what he must do to defeat the Martian. The powerful Jonzz knocks Gandalf down with a kick to the stomach but once down on the ground The Gray Wizard conjures up a simple fire spell which he uses to ignite the foliage around him and consume the Martian in his own weakness. Neo is not doing as well as he had hoped against his 2 attackers when Wonder Girl makes a critical mistake in her attack. She had done a great job of following Wonder Woman’s lead thus far in the fight but when she went in to soon for Diana to deliver her big blow it left her open to a fierce karate chop to the neck from Neo that killed Wonder Woman’s side kick in an instant. Wonder Woman was then overcome with rage as she moved toward Neo who went on the defensive blocking her attacks as best he could. This burst of hate-fueled energy that Wonder Woman was allowing herself may have been enough to defeat the chosen one if Trinity did not show up just in time to help out her boyfriend/shipmate. Trinity jumps into the fray making a mistake similar to that of Aeon Flux, when she jumped in she figured that Wonder Woman had a significant amount of strength but she underestimated her speed as the amazon pulled her down onto the ground and snapped her neck. Neo, now just as angry as Wonder Woman hits the amazon with a lightning fast flurry of kicks and punches that finish her off. Gandalf pulls himself up to square off with Neo when Yoda comes running in to help out his new teammate. Gandalf knew immediately that he would have had quite a good shot at defeating either one of these opponents one on one but with the 2 of them working together he was simply outmatched. Gandalf rushes toward the 2 Slaves with his staff in one hand and his sword Glamdring in the other but he is dispatched fairly quickly when Neo blocks his staff attacks with his bear hands allowing Yoda to dodge a swing from Glamdring and remove the wizard’s head.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!

2 comments:

Ryan said...

YES! Way to keep out bet going Chris! It's all tied up girls!

Congrats Fizzle for finally defeating Flobe.

Artifact said...

Represent! Its the year of the slave!