Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. TEAM

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Luke Skywalker Grand Jedi Master, Superboy Prime, Supergirl, Phoenix, & Cloud Stryfe on a 4-Wheeler.

TEAM is Superman, Comet the Super Horse, Thunderstrike, Galvatron, & Bruce Lee & Ryan Poteracki in a Land Speeder.


The epic battle for the little brown laser continues with these 2 major American League inter-conference rivals. Luke Skywalker approaches Superman at the beginning of the battle and says to him “I can sense that you have much power Superman, you are a worthy opponent, I must say, I am a newcomer to this universe and I do not understand the hatred that our 2 teams have for one another”. Superman answers him with “there are many things about this world that are not to be understood Luke, I fight along side a younger version of yourself and I know that you are pure of heart. Good lock to you friend”. Superman than flies away and regroups with his team. Cloud Strife is tearing through the jungle landscape on his 4-Wheeler being chased by a land speeder being driven by Ryan Poteracki with Bruce Lee in the passenger seat. Cloud Strife is weaving in and out of the trees and brush to maintain distance between himself and the faster land speeder while Ryan is driving as fast as he can possibly go, plowing into the sides of anything in his way and paying no heed to whatever small animal or object dares to block his path (you know, just like he drives his G-6). Superman, Thunderstrike, & Comet take flight as do Superboy, Supergirl, & Phoenix yet they all hang back waiting for the other team to make the first move. In a surprising move Comet zips in between Superboy & girl and then swoops down toward Luke who is stuck down on the ground. Comet makes a move to attack Luke but Skywalker leaps onto the back of the super horse and holds on. Comet climbs higher and higher into the sky but Luke continues to hold on as he pulls out his lightsaber and begins to stick it into the thick skin of Comet. Comet nays in pain as the Jedi finally plunges the lightsaber into Comet killing the beast. Once dead Comet goes plummeting to the ground with Luke free falling as well from an incredible height but The Grand Jedi Master effortlessly lands on his feet as if he just hopped down from a stepstool. Luke than force leaps into the air toward Superman with his lightsaber drawn but Superman punches him in the stomach sending him back down into the thick foliage. The newest member of The Horsemen Phoenix begins to summon the cosmic force of the Phoenix power to attack TEAM but Galvatron from down below transforms into his massive cannon form and with a single blast targets Rachel Summers out of the air completely vaporizing the X-Man. Ryan turns to Bruce Lee and says in a nasally voice “What did he say his name was”? Bruce answers him thinking that that is quite the strange question since they just talked to this years #1 draft pick at the TEAM meet and greet by saying “Galvatron”. Ryan is about to explain the joke but just says “uhh never mind”. Poteracki and Lee are gaining on Cloud Strife, once they catch up to him Ryan starts ramming the back of the quad with the front end of the land speeder. Cloud sees that the vehicle he is on simply cannot outrun the speeder so he back flips onto the back of the speeder and pulls out his massive sword. Ryan maniacally laughs as he swerves around trying to knock cloud off and making Bruce Lee want to projectile vomit (now that I think about it maybe the latter was his real intention). But Cloud balances himself and drives his sword right into Ryan’s head (yes, that was Ryan, a member of TEAM killed by Cloud Strife, a Final Fantasy character and member of the Horsemen; at this point I am not even sure who that is spiting). With Ryan dead the land speeder goes out of control flinging both Bruce Lee and a weaponless Cloud Strife from the speeder (Cloud’s sword is still wedged in Ryan’s head). Bruce and Cloud start fighting hand to hand with Cloud initially taking the offensive but in the end it is Bruce Lee’s mad Kung Fu skills that come out on top when he stuns Strife with a karate chop to the neck and then maneuvers himself behind his opponent to crack his neck. Although he would never admit it Superboy was quite impressed with Galvatron’s prior show of power which is why he is hell bent on out doing him. Superboy flies in low just over the landscape faster than Galvatron can even move his optics and then pops out under the cover of the dense jungle and rockets right through the massive Decepticon. Though damaged, Galvatron is not defeated by this move. He turns around in an attempt to blast the Kryptonian with his orange arm mounted cannon but Superboy was just beginning. In the blink of an eye Superboy circles back around and then rockets back thru Galvatron three more times. The powerful Galvatron is barely functioning as he attempts to lift his arm back up but he simply falls to his knees and then collapses. Supergirl and Thunderstrike begin battling in the air while Superman begins chasing Superboy before he can do any more damage. Supergirl punches Thunderstrike in the face stunning the Asgardian and then attempts to pull his Thunderstrike hammer from his hand. When she does this the weight of the hammer that she is unable to wield instantly pulls her down to the ground fast with Thunderstrike falling down as well without the hammer to hold him up. Once down on the ground the 2 confused opponents begin pounding on each other ferociously. Supergirl seems to be gaining the upper hand without Thunderstrike holding his weapon of the same name which is why he makes a move to pick it back up. He grasps for Thunderstrike but on his way down Supergirl clenches her fist together and brings them down hard on the back of his head killing him. Superboy Prime lands in front of Bruce Lee while Superman is racing down to help his new teammate whom he knows is very outmatched by the younger alternate universe version of himself. Bruce Lee attempts some really cool looking Kung Fu moves on Superboy but they have no affect on him whatsoever. Superboy simply blows on Bruce Lee which simultaneously flash freezes him and blows him hundreds of yards away where he will crack into many pieces once he hits the ground. Superman, who is somewhat disgusted at Superboy’s abuse of his power lands several yards away from Superboy and begins walking toward him. Meanwhile Luke Skywalker is shaking off the hit he took from Superman early in the fight which would have been enough to break every bone in the body of a human that was not so well protected by the force. Luke comes to his senses and realizes that his team needs him so he starts racing toward Superman at an amazing speed while Supergirl does the same from the air. The two of them travel miles in a matter of seconds but they still only get there in time to witness the end of the fight between Superman and Superboy. Superboy blew as hard as he could against Superman as The Man of Steel walked toward him but it looked like little more than a light breeze was blowing against him. Superboy, realizing that this move was not going to have anywhere close to the same effect it had on Bruce Lee rushes at Superman pounding on him with his fists so fast that they cannot even be seen by the human eye and so hard that the sound could be heard miles away. Superman it seems backs off slightly into the air but then uses a massive blast of heat vision to subdue Superboy. Superboy struggles but he is pushed harder and harder down onto the ground. When Superman lets up he sees a blackened and bruised Superboy who he flies down to finish off by hitting him so hard on the ground that it sends him deep below the Valverdi surface creating a crater in its wake. Luke and Supergirl surround The Man of Steel slowly, weary of what they know their opponent is capable of. Luke comes in fast with his lightsaber quickly evading Superman’s attacks and making contact with several of his own but the lightsaber is unable to penetrate Superman’s skin. Luke back flips back out of the way and Superman tries to blow the Jedi away with his breath. At the same time Luke attempts a force push but the 2 combatants both wear themselves out just trying to budge the other one. Superman than tries to blast Luke with his Heat Vision but Luke manages to not only block it with his lightsaber but also direct it back at him. Supergirl sees this move taking place and sends her own blast of heat vision at Superman as well. This huge double dose of power knocks The Man of Steel to the ground, severely weakening him. The Horsemen waste no time as they both leap on top of Superman. Supergirl begins pounding on him with her fists while Luke is still trying to stick his lightsaber thru the impossibly thick skin of Superman. “I am simply unable to penetrate the skin Supergirl” Luke yells to his teammate but Supergirl replies with “than allow me”. Supergirl grabs the lightsaber out of Luke’s hands and with all of her might stabs the Jedi weapon into her cousin breaking the lightsaber but sending it into his chest hilt and all.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!

1 comment:

Lickolas said...

Good stuff dude, I thought Ed was going to win until the last couple of sentences.

Damn Ryan, you came really close to starting out 0-2. That would have been the shock of the season.