Xavier's Annihilation Squad vs The Syracuse Valley

Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is Ursa, Mary Embry, Geo-Force, Col. John Matrix, and Gomez Addams.

The Syracuse Valley is Master Chief, Movie Megatron, Darth Maul, Darth Rave, Soundwave, Frenzy, Buzzsaw, Overkill, Slugfest, Squalktalk, Beastbox, Movie Frenzy, Fire Brother #1, and Little Gomba #2.

The Syracuse Valley’s field leader Master Chief leads his team of Transformers and Mario Bros. Villains through the jungle. He has Soundwave eject his tapes to scatter and scan the area. Movie Megatron transforms into his Cybertronian Jet form and flies ahead, due to his refusal to take orders from what he referred to as a “pathetic meat sack.” “Objectives located. Tapes return to me,” says Soundwave with a synthesized monotone voice. The newly named Xavier’s Annihilation Squad stand firm about fifty yards in front of them. Fire Brother #1 rips a fireball right at them, engulfing Gomez Addams in flames, killing the patriarch of the Addams family. “I guess Gomez needed a light,” states Col. John Matrix. Master Chief orders his team to charge the Annihilation Squad, but Geo-Force hinders their advance. He forms part of the ground into a hand and grabs Overkill and Beastbox, crushing them. Soundwave punches through the fist shaped earth and continues on. Darth Maul and his apprentice, Darth Rave, flip and move through the jungle so in sync and gracefully you would think that they are competing on America’s Best Dance Crew. They both simply cut down any tree that is in their way with their lightsabers. Geo-Force then kills Movie Frenzy and Slugfest with his lava blasts. Darth Rave then fires his lightsabers into Geo-Force’s shoulders and Darth Maul flips in to finish the job. Ursa and Mary Embry both take to the sky to battle Movie Megatron who has been doing strafing runs over the battlefield. However this leaves Col. John Matrix outnumbered, ten to one. “Heh, ten to one? I almost feel bad for this guy,” jokes Frenzy. “I like you Frenzy. You’re a funny guy. That’s why I’m going to kill you last,” responds Matrix. He then fires two rockets from his M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher, exploding Buzzsaw and Squalktalk. “Looks like hunting season opened early,” says Matrix. Then he presses a button on a remote control and detonated a bunch of M18A1 Claymore mines that he had strapped to the trees earlier. “I’ll be back Valley,” shouts Matrix as he disappears into the jungle. High up in the air, Movie Megatron has his hands full with the gal-pals of Ursa and Mary Embry. He hits Mary with some powerful laser blasts as he evades Ursa’s heat vision. Mary falls from the sky, bouncing off several trees on her way down, where she finally splashes into the pond below. (Yeah that’s right… now her clothes are all wet… Hot.) Frenzy runs over to the edge of the waterfall to see who fell out of the sky, when Matrix sneaks up behind him and knocks him down. Col. Matrix then picks up Frenzy by the neck and says, “Remember Frenzy, when I said I’d kill you last?” Frenzy frantically responds with “Yeah, yeah Matrix. You did.” Matrix then shoves a grenade into Frenzy’s mouth and says, “I lied.” He kicks the Transformer off the edge of the waterfall just before his head explodes. Movie Megatron then transforms and lands with a mighty thud. Mary Embry flies up out of the water and right at the Decepticon. Ursa comes flying in from the opposite side and both women blow through Movie Megatron’s torso, extinguishing his spark. John then picks up one of the trees the Sith Lords cut down and hurls it through Soundwave. “I’m glad we could get to the root of the problem Soundwave,” quips Matrix. The Transformer falls and crushes Little Goomba #2. “That’s too bad, he was a fun guy,” laments Matrix as he cuts Fire Brother #1’s arm off. “Here let me give you a hand,” he says. Master Chief then shoots at Matrix, but only manages to graze his arm. Col. Matrix moves behind a tree for some cover. “Come on Chief, you don’t want to use a gun. You want to use a knife, so you can look me in the eye as you turn it,” says Matrix trying to taunt Master Chief. But there’s not response. John looks around the tree to see two tiny holes smoking from Master Chief’s helmet, who then drops to the ground to reveal Ursa who had fired her heat vision into the back of Master Chief’s head. “Well I guess he has a Halo now,” jokes Matrix. (get it?) Darth Maul and Darth Rave then surround the Kryptonian. Darth Rave starts circling her and swinging his two lightsabers around on their chains, which is producing a “really cool light show.” He then whips them at Ursa, but Mary Embry flies in and grabs a hold of the chains. She uses her super strength and speed to twirl the Sith Lord around her head and smashes him into a large boulder. Ursa then uses her freeze breath to encase Darth Maul in a solid block of ice. And before his lightsabers can melt him free, Mary Embry uses one of Darth Rave’s lightsabers to slice Darth Maul up into a million pieces. (It was like she used a Ronco Chop-O-Matic.) (Oh crap, I probably own Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies some royalties for that reference.)

XAVIER’S ANNIHILATION SQUAD IS VICTORIOUS!