Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

Le’ Napoleon Brigade is John McLain, Obi Wan Kenobi, Wonder Woman, Poison Ivy, Morpheus, Skyfire, Alan Scott, Jules Winfield & Vincent Vega, Man at Arms & Teela, Allia Atreides, Duncan Idaho Kwisatz Haderach Ghola #12, Jedi Knight #1-15, Aragorn son of Arathorn, Jedi Master #31-40, Daniel Rousseau, Robin Hood, Little John, Arwen Evenstar, John Locke, Silver Dragon #3-15, Horse #26-37, Vito Corleone, Santino Corleone, Even Piel, Master Jedi Leia Organa, Yoda’s Spirit, Anakin Solo, Coleman Trebor, Squeeze Play & Locos, Lara Croft, Abraham Van Helsing, Wonder Boy & Young Nasty Man, Pee Wee Herman, Pterry, Conky, Giada De Laurentis, Batgirl, Guy Gardner (w/ Yellow Ring), Power Girl, Red Devil, Sonja Blade, The Jolly Green Giant, Sprout, The Farmer, Army Soldier #101-130, Velociraptor #31-50, Catwoman, Hecate, & Napoleon Bonaparte.

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderlies are Aunt May.




As the Brigade forms up Wonder Woman looks to her team and says “Alright guys, this is gonna be a big one. Napoleon is right here with us and remember: most importantly, this one is for Wonder Girl”! John Mclain then looks over to Wonder Woman and says “Hey Diana, where the hell is the other team, and who the F*&k is that old broad walking up”? Aragorn nudges Morpheus and says “Is it just that old woman, I’m not killing an old woman”. “Shit B*&^h even I ain’t killing no old woman” Jules Winfield adds. Not that they need to because approximately 0.376 seconds later Aunt May dies of a heart attack after witnessing the sheer size of The Brigade’s Team. Napoleon stands before his team and says “Victory is ours”. “Who were we supposed to be playing anyway” Pterry asks of Conky. “The the the the Murderflies t-t-t-ta Pterry” Conky responds. “What is it they are murdering, self-respect”? Pee Wee says sarcastically. Which prompts Sprout to turn to Catwoman and say “Does this mean we get to go home now”? “Fine by me” Giada says to Batgirl and Red Devil. The whole team then starts to walk back where they came from when Wonder Woman says “OOOOOHHHH NO! F**k that! I already have a reputation for retreating; and like I said before, this match is for Wonder Girl. This is an insult, throwing one old lady at us for the biggest match of the year. I WANT BLOOD! I say we storm their headquarters and make them pay. Nobody insults The Brigade like this”! Napoleon then says “Now Wonder Woman, as Head Coach I can’t allow that to happen”. “Why the F**k not”? John Mclain asks. Napoleon then looks like he thinks about it for second and then answers “Ummm, you know I don’t know. Ahhh Hell, lets do it”. Le’ Napoleon Brigade then storms an unprompted sneak attack on the Headquarters of Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies. Hecate first levels the entire place with her entire arsenal of Atomics, while the entire team takes pot shots at all of the scared Murderflies running for their lives from the pillaging Brigade. Wonder Woman was even heard screaming and laughing maniacally saying something along the lines of “Yeah, don’t shoot em to fast, let em burn”. It was all Allia Atreides could do to keep her team from opening up the enormous Sandworm Penn. The Watchers eventually had to come down and teleport The Brigade back to their headquarters, but in true Watcher fashion by the time we interfered it was far too late. In the end, only The Murderflies coaches, their 3 green lanterns, 13 sandworms, Ewok #4 & 5, The Scooby Gang, Dorf, and General Popeil were able to escape the carnage. And carnage it truly was I must say, after witnessing this horrible atrocity: the smell of death in the once arid mélange coated air, so much blood that not even all the dead ewok carcasses can soak it up, and the sheer memory of The Brigade’s rage and lust for the blood of those they feel wronged them. The only comment that can even comes to mind is: "Aunt May was the lucky one".
LE’ NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!

3 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Hell hath no fury like a Wonder Woman scorned.

Angelina Jolie said...

The genocide that took place today will not go unpunished. I shall gather the likes of Bono and Bob Geldof and make sure the world knows about the atrocities that took place today.

Archr5 said...

is there No ass that Aunt May can kick? She was the Herald of Galactus for a while for Christ's sake!

Also, hilarious match. Excellent work.