Friday, April 10, 2009

The Right Wing vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad

I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 6 Match: The Right Wing vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad.

I look into the locker room of The Right Wing and see the following members: Silver Surfer, Hulk, Zeus, Mr. Freeze, Flash, John Stewart, Blackfire, Storm, Duncan Idaho Ghola #6, Green Goblin, Jedi Knights #16-25, Elite Stormtroopers #1-12, T-Rexes #16-20, Athena, Ulysses S. Grant, Captain Panaka, Batwoman, Army Soldiers #131-154, Agents #1 and 2, Jedi Padawans #2-6, Jack Shepherd, Goliath, Wicked Witch of the West, Slimer, Mike Huckabee, Gold Dragons #10-12, Donkey Kong Jr., Quinlon Vos with Jedi Padawan #38, Warpath, Helen of Troy, Red Sonja, The Pantheon: Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atlanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Ulysses I and Ulysses II, Gondor Soldiers #1-3, Darth Malak, Shintor Beerus with Jedi Padawan #39, Eros, Red Tornado, Captain Mifune, Black Panther, Baby Storm, Skaar Son of Hulk, Elephants #1-7, Titanium Man, Bulkhead, Pegasus, Korg, Ninjas #1-15, Moss Man, Drucilla, Martin Blank, Bookworm, Doc Samson, Rupert Giles, Xander Harris, Miss Martian and Atticus Finch.

Atticus Finch: We will go into battle, my friends. We will have the law on our side, go into battle and be victorious!

Captain Mifune: If it's our time to die, it's our time. All I ask is, if we have to give these bastards our lives, we give 'em hell before we do!

Rupert Giles: A little dramatic Captain, but an admirable attempt to stir the troops.

I look into the locker room of Xavier’s Annihilation Squad and see the following members: Gladiator, The Leprechaun, Randy Couture, Darth Bane, Apocalypse, Mary Embry, Ursa, The Eradicator, Geo-Force, The White Witch, The Blob, Mighty Joe Young, Gorilla Grodd, T-X, The Terrorcons, The Aerialbots, Darth Voltress and Darth Ocron, Metroplex, Colonel John Matrix, Black Tom Cassidy, Vigo the Carpathian, Bane, Bonecrusher (movie), Barricade (movie), Brainstorm and Arcana, Silver Samurai, Samurai #21-40, Ancient Sith Lords 1-7 and 15, Sith Lord #8, Rick O'Connell, Eve O'Connell, Feral, Beowolf, Kevin (from Sin City), Shredder, Walker Texas Ranger, Shadowcat and Lockheed, Jet Jaguar, Weapon Omega, Nemesis Enforcer, Zorro, Mordor Horse #1, Minotaurs #1-10, Wookie Soldiers #1-30, Dilophosauruses #1-6, Sailor Moon, Shinobi and Yamato, Reverse Flash and Bonk.

Walker stands up and the entire locker room looks upon the Texas Ranger.

Walker: Walker, Texas Ranger, is ready for battle!

I transport the teams to the grassland battlefield.

Zorro jumps on Mordor Horse #1 and rides into battle. He is met by Gondor Soldiers #1-3 on Elephants #1-3. Mordor Horse #1 manages to escape the stomping of Elephant #1, but is shoveled and impaled with the tusks of Elephant #2. While Mordor Horse #1 goes down, Zorro does an acrobatic flip on Elephant #2. He stabs Gondor Soldier #2 and kills him. Dilophosauruses #1-6 rush onto the scene and split into two groups. Dilophosauruses #1-3 attack Gondor Soldier #3 and Elephant #3. The dinosaurs jump on Elephant #3 and begin to tear apart both Gondor Soldier #3 and his Elephant. Dilophosauruses #4-6 spit blinding poison into Elephant #1 and Gondor Soldier #1’s faces. They both go down and the dinosaurs finish them off, greedily feasting on their flesh. Zorro, meanwhile rides Elephant #2 at his Wookie Soldier teammates ahead. Zorro does a flip off the back of Elephant #2 who is fired upon and killed by the Wookies. T-Rexes #16-20 see Dilophosauruses #1-6 eating on the battlefield. The T-Rexes charge the Dilophosauruses. Dilophosauruses #3 and 6 are easily killed by the ferocity of the dinosaurs. The remaining Dilophosauruses stick together and manage to kill T-Rex #17 with their combined offensive stance. Gold Dragons #10-12 fly upon the scene and with their cones of fire, finish off Dilophosauruses #1-2, 4-5. Wookie Soldiers #1-30 turn their attention to another section of the grasslands and see Elephants #4-7. The Wookies shout their battle cries and rush at the Elephants. All of the Wookies unload their bowcasters and cannons at Elephants #4-7 and kill them.

Wicked Witch of the West is flying on her broom when she sees Mighty Joe Young. She thinks of her own winged monkeys and determines that she will attempt to make the mighty ape her greatest creation. The Witch flies next to the animal and begins to cast a spell which will make him her minion. When the spell is nearly cast, Storm comes upon the scene, and with her weather manipulation ability, focuses a rainstorm on the Wicked Witch of the West, which melts her. Donkey Kong, Jr. retaliates by attacking Mighty Joe Young. The battle of the monkeys begins. Although Mighty Joe is far larger than Kong, Jr., Kong Jr.’s fine motor skills are far superior to the great ape. Kong, Jr. takes the Witch’s broom to fly around. He repeatedly strikes Mighty Joe, who is now becoming tired and dazed. Before Kong can finish Mighty Joe, he is swarmed upon by Minotaurs #1-10 and killed.

Jedi Knights #16-25 and Jedi Padawans #2-6 meet Ancient Sith Lords #1-7 and 15 and Sith Lord #8. The battle is equally matched as the light side and dark side forces face off against one another. Jedi Padawans #2-6 manage to combine forces to destroy Ancient Sith Lord #15. Ancient Sith Lords #1-4 then slash through Jedi Padawans #2-6. Jedi Knights #16-25 face off against Sith Lord #8, as well as the Ancient Sith Lords #1-7. Although the light side manages to kill Sith Lord #8 and Ancient Sith Lords #3-5, all Jedi Knights #16-25 eventually fall to the blinding power of the Sith. With Ancient Sith Lords #1-2 and 6-7 standing, the Pantheon charges the scene. The Pantheon’s combined skills and weaponry of Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atlanta, Cassiopeia, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Paris, Prometheus, Ulysses I and Ulysses II are too much for the remaining Sith. Although Paris, Ulysses I and Andromeda fall in the battle, the remaining Pantheon members kill Ancient Sith Lords #1-2 and 6-7.

Kevin from Sin City stalks Atticus Finch. The mute serial killer sneaks up from behind and stabs Finch, severing his spinal cord. Finch is mortally wounded and dying. Kevin smiles at the thought of the famous lawyer’s head mounted as a trophy. Rupert Giles and Xander Harris mount an attack on Kevin. Kevin’s use of martial arts manages to incapacitate Harris, who then takes a knife across his throat. Giles is then being pummeled by Kevin. Red Sonja comes to the scene and through the use of her sword mastery bests Kevin. Red Sonja then picks up an injured, but still alive Giles. Pegasus swoops in and Giles rides the winged steed away from the fray. The Silver Samurai then comes over and uses his sword in a vicious fight against Sonja. Although Sonja has the brute strength, the mastery of Silver Samurai is too much as Sonja screams and meets her maker as Silver Samurai cuts her head off. Ninjas #1-15 acrobatically come to the battle and take on Silver Samurai. Samurai #21-40 back their leader up. The combined abilities of the fifteen Ninjas manage to kill Silver Samurai and Samurai #29-37. Nonetheless, the remaining Samurai who have lost their brethren, with honor, destroy all Ninjas #1-15. Elite Stormtroopers #1-12 rally and kill remaining Samurai #21-28, 38-40, although also losing Elite Stormtroopers #3-7.

Rick O’Connell and Eve O’Connell meet Slimer. Slimer manages to slime Eve O’Connell who suffocates in the muck which encased her. Rick O’Connell, furious at his wife’s demise, attacks Slimer. Slimer is about to slime Rick when Bonk and the Leprechaun join their teammate. The combined forces of the supernatural Leprechaun and the strong caveboy’s “bonking” skills destroys Slimer. Captain Mifune in his armored personnel unit blasts and destroys both the Leprechaun and Bonk. Mifune and Rick O’Connell rush to the battle.

Pegasus and Giles are flying overhead when they are met by the Aerialbots: Silverbolt in Concorde mode, Skydive in F-16 Fighting Falcon mode, Fireflight in F-4 Phantom II mode, Slingshot in AV-8B Harrier II mode and Air Raid in F-15 Eagle mode. The watcher and winged horse are no match for the combined weaponry and tactical skills of the Transformers; thus, Pegasus and Giles are basically disintegrated in the sky, with feathers and body parts falling to the ground. The Aerialbots are then met with Storm, Baby Storm, Silver Surfer, and Bulkhead. Baby Storm is shredded by Skydive’s weapons. Silver Surfer uses his cosmic powers to destroy Silverbolt. Bulkhead takes out Air Raid. Storm then uses her powers to force Fireflight, Skydive and Slingshot down on the grasslands below. Before they can transform to their robot modes they are met by Skaar, Doc Samson and Hulk. Skaar destroys Fireflight. Doc Samson destroys Skydive. Hulk destroys Slingshot. Storm flies away to her other teammates.

The battle in the sky continues as John Stewart, Silver Surfer, Bulkhead, Gold Dragons #10-12, Zeus, Green Goblin and Miss Martian take on Mary Embry, Eradicator, Geo-Force, Ursa, Brainstorm and Arcana. Green Goblin is flying on his glider and repeatedly throws his goblin bombs at Geo-Force. Geo-Force manages to dodge most of the bombs, but while focused on the Goblin, is met by all three Gold Dragons. The Gold Dragons #10-12 hit Geo-Force at the same time with their flames and Geo-Force goes down. Brainstorm and Arcana take on Bulkhead and manage to destroy their Transformer enemy. Silver Surfer then uses his cosmic powers against Brainstorm and Arcana. They are incinerated at the force of the blast. Embry and Ursa manage to break the necks and incapacitate all Gold Dragons #10-12, who mortally wounded, plummet to the ground. Embry manages to fly behind the Green Goblin and kill him. She uses the goblin bombs from his bag to repeatedly pummel John Stewart. Stewart uses his lantern ring to strike Embry. As Embry attempts to gain her senses, she is immediately struck by Zeus’s forces as he manipulates the skies. With Embry at somewhat of a loss, Miss Martian comes upon her and kills her. The Eradicator then kills Stewart when he has the chance. Ursa and Eradicator face Silver Surfer who unleashes a blast that sends Ursa and Eradicator to the ground. They are pounced upon by Miss Martian, Skaar, Hulk and Doc Samson. The punishment is too much and Ursa and Eradicator both die.

Shinobi and Yamato meet Martin Blank. Blank manages to shoot and kill Yamato, but Shinobi is too quick with his martial arts’ moves and kills Blank. Warpath storms upon the scene and kills Shinobi. Flash and Reverse Flash are equally matched and are fighting one another to a near standstill until Mr. Freeze uses his ray to make Reverse Flash slip. As Reverse Flash slips, Moss Man controls the grassland’s plant life and captures Reverse Flash. The plants strangle the life out of Reverse Flash. Mighty Joe Young and Gorilla Grodd come upon the scene and their combined ape powers tear apart Moss Man. The apes are then met with T-Rexes #16, 18-20. Mighty Joe Young kills T-Rex #16, but is unable to subdue all Rexes at the same time and dies as he is pounced upon by T-Rexes #17-20. Gorilla Grodd is about to be killed when his furry teammates, Wookie Soldiers #1-20 rush to the scene. Their combined firepower manage to kill the remaining T-Rexes #17-20. Elite Stormtroopers #1-2, 8-12 come on the scene and fire upon the Wookies. The Elite troopers manage to kill Wookie Soldiers #1-16, while all the remaining Stormtroopers fall dead. Army Soldiers #131-154, due to their sheer numbers alone, manage to riddle the Wookie Soldiers’ bodies with bullets and kill them off, but suffer the casualties of Army Soldiers #131-140. Army Soldiers #141-154 then take on T-X, Colonel John Matrix and Beowulf. The remaining Army Soldiers die, but take out Colonel John Matrix at the same time.
Black Tom Cassidy finds rotten wood amongst the grasslands’ ground. He sees Bookworm and smashes the villain over the head and then uses a concussive blast to blow him away. Shredder, Feral and Randy Couture join their teammate in battle. They are facing Ulysses S. Grant, Agents #1 and 2, Mike Huckabee and Duncan Idaho Ghola #6. Shredder and Feral unleash their ferocity against Ulysses S. Grant and Agents #1 and 2; they do not last long against the claws of their opponents. Randy Couture takes on Mike Huckabee and easily kills the politician. Couture then takes on Duncan Idaho Ghola and through his mixed martial arts’ mastery, manages to hurt the Ghola. Black Tom Cassidy uses a concussive burst to destroy the Ghola. Successful, the Squad’s quad look for other combatants to defeat. Blackfire, Helen of Troy and Black Panther meet the quad. Blackfire uses her solar powered energy projection ability to throw Black Tom Cassidy across the field. Black Panther then pounces on Cassidy and kills him with his strength. Helen of Troy manages to take Couture off guard due to her beauty and Blackfire easily kills the smitten male. Feral pounces on Helen and slices her up. Shredder and Feral then face Blackfire and Black Panther. Blackfire allows Black Panther to dispatch of the two.

Across the way, Darth Bane, the White Witch, Darth Voltress, Darth Ocron, and Vigo the Carpathian meet Goliath, Quinlon Vos with Jedi Padawan #38, Warpath, the remaining Pantheon members: Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atlanta, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Prometheus, and Ulysses II, Darth Malak, and Shintor Beerus with Jedi Padawan #39. Darth Bane and Darth Malak are in a pitched lightsaber battle. The two Sith strike at each other repeatedly, neither giving way to the other. Darth Voltress and Darth Ocron come into the lightsaber fray, knowing that Malak alone will be no match for the trio of force wielders. Malak is about to be struck down when Quinlon Vos with Jedi Padawan #38 and Shintor Beerus with Jedi Padawan #39 enter the fray. The Sith Lords have enough time to continue their fight and dispatch Jedi Padawan #38 and Jedi Padawan #39. Only the strong survive. The combined fighting skills of Malak, Vos and Beerus take on Bane, Ocron and Voltress. After the battle, the only ones standing are Vos and Malak. Beerus, Bane, Ocron and Voltress are all dead. The supernatural and magical abilities of Vigo the Carpathian and the White Witch easily dispatch Warpath. Vos and Malak, with the assistance of the remaining Pantheon members and Goliath take on and destroy Vigo and the White Witch. Nonetheless the supernatural beings, before their death, manage to take out Achilles, Ajax, Atlanta, Hector and Ulysses II.
It is the final stand between the two teams.

For the Right Wing are Silver Surfer, Hulk, Zeus, Mr. Freeze, Flash, John Stewart, Blackfire, Storm, Athena, Captain Panaka, Batwoman, Jack Shephard, Goliath, Quinlon Vos, The Pantheon: Agamemnon, Andromeda, Delphi, Hector, Jason, Prometheus, Darth Malak, Eros, Red Tornado, Captain Mifune, Black Panther, Skaar Son of Hulk, Titanium Man, Korg, Drusilla, Doc Samson, and Miss Martian.

For Xavier’s Annihilation Squad are Gladiator, Apocalypse, The Blob, Gorilla Grodd, T-X, The Terrorcons, Metroplex, Bane, Bonecrusher (movie), Barricade (movie), Rick O'Connell, Beowolf, Walker Texas Ranger, Shadowcat and Lockheed, Jet Jaguar, Weapon Omega, Nemesis Enforcer, Zorro, Minotaurs #1-10, and Sailor Moon.

Minotaurs #1-10 charge the Right Wing. Batwoman uses her utility belt weaponry to kill Minotaurs #1 and 7. Captain Panaka manages to shoot and kill Minotaur # 2. Minotaur #3 and #5 then overpower the Nabooian guardsman and maul him with their horns. Titanium Man uses his concussive blasts and armor to defeat Minotaurs #3-5. Athena uses her hunting and godlike skills to kill Minotaurs # 8-10. Captain Mifune destroys Minotaur #6 with his armor.

Drucilla: My precious little Walker (she says as she focuses on Walker, Texas Ranger).

Walker: I am Walker, Texas Ranger. My keen skills and mind shall repel you vampire harpie!

Drucilla manages to lure Walker to her. She nibbles on his neck. Walker laughs.

Walker: Walker, Texas Ranger, loves when a woman takes charge.

Drucilla bites into Walker and drains his blood. As she is sucking the remaining blood from her victim, she is stabbed in the back by Zorro. She explodes into a dust cloud.

The five Terrorcons combine to form Abominus. Captain Mifune faces the giant Transformer and repeatedly fires upon the monstrous figure. Abominus crushes Mifune in his personalized weapon armor. Abominus also manages to mortally wound and/or kill Batwoman, Black Panther, Jason and Prometheus. Jack Shephard runs amongst the mortally wounded seeing if he can save any of them. As he sits over Black Panther he hears someone scream: “I am Beowulf.” That is the last Shephard hears as Beowulf lops his head off. The Right Wing determine to focus on separate pieces of Abominus, knowing that they will have to transform into their robot forms to save themselves. John Stewart focuses on Blot. Before he is able to use his ring powers though, he is struck down by Weapon Omega. Quinlon Vos and Darth Malak then combine their force powers and rip Weapon Omega out of the sky and manage to each slice him dead. As the Right Wing begins to focus their attack on Abominus, Bonecrusher and Barricade come to their robot brethren’s aid. Mr. Freeze manages to hit Blot with his freeze ray. Titanium Man then finishes the job with his blasts. Blot is destroyed and Abominus transforms into its various components: Hunn-Grrr (two headed dragon), Cutthroat (pterodactyl like beast), Rippersnapper (land shark) and Sinnertwin (Orthrus type monster). The four transformers manage to take out Storm and Doc Samson. Meanwhile, Miss Martian and Zeus destroy Barricade. Skaar and Hulk take on and destroy Bonecrusher. Hunn-Grr and Cutthroat are taken out by Silver Surfer and Blackfire.

What is left of the Pantheon: Agamemnon, Andromeda, Delphi, Hector focus on the easier prey. Their combined Pantheon powers and weapons are too much for Shadowcat and Lockheed, Jet Jaguar, Nemesis Enforcer and Sailor Moon. In response Metroplex wipes the entire Pantheon out. Korg tries to take on the Blob and is unable to defeat him; he loses his life for the attempt. Quinlon Vos takes on the T-X. Although repeatedly blocked at first, its relentless robotic will does away with the Vos. Darth Malak, in turn, destroys the T-X.

Gladiator and Bane take on Flash. The speedster runs circles around the duo that cannot catch him. He repeatedly beats on the two who eventually fall to the ground. Goliath finishes the two by driving them in the earth with his feet. Metroplex unleashes its weapons and kills Goliath. Apocalypse dispatches with Eros.

Silver Surfer and Blackfire use their combined forces to rip through The Blob, Gorilla Grodd, Rick O'Connell and Beowolf. Apocalypse kills Mr. Freeze and Flash with his powers. Metroplex manages to destroy Darth Malak who cannot deflect all the salvos and the remaining Terrorcons rip apart and destroy Red Tornado and Titanium Man. At the same time, the only Terrorcons remaining are Rippersnaper and Sinnertwin. Hulk, Skaar and Miss Martian manage to take out the remaining two Terrorcons. The combined forces of the Right Wing destroy Xavier’s remaining team of Apocalypse and Metroplex.

Xavier’s Annihilation Squad: All dead.

The Right Wing: Silver Surfer, Hulk, Zeus, Blackfire, Athena, Skaar Son of Hulk, and Miss Martian alive.

THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!

1 comment:

Josh the Commish said...

That one was a good match up, I couldn't tell who was going to win until the very end.