Part 4: Week 2 Consolation Matches: Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies vs. Better Than All of You

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Mystery Inc., Scooby Dumb and Ewok #5.

Better Than All of You is Ric Flair, Dozer #4 and Cobra Viper #1.

Scooby Dumb waits by the door as his opponents are walking up the walkway to Tim Cheveldae’s house. As soon as the door opens, he snaps the neck of Ric Flair. Then with one swift kick to the gut of the Cobra Viper, he knock’s him to the ground. Then he crushes the rib cage of the Cobra Viper, which moments later kills him. Then he pick’s up the little dozer and says, “It’s ironic that you make food, because you just became mine”. Scooby Dumb then places the dozer underneath his back two molars and begins to chew until there is nothing left. “Hmm, that s*@$ was good.

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Victorious!

JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ric Flair, Dozer # 4 and Cobra Viper #4 have been at Tim Cheveldae’s house for hours. They have been patiently waiting for their opponents to arrive, alas to no avail. They have drunk numerous drinks and Tim made all of them a very good Seafood Cappellini. It had this really great white cream sauce with shrimp, scallops and even bits of lobster all over angel hair pasta. I didn’t get to have any, but it looked really amazing. Just as Tim was about to serve his raspberry cheesecake though, the Mystery Machine pulled up in the driveway.

“Oh hell no! I didn’t wait this entire time not to eat this cheesecake,” an irate Ric Flair says to the homeowner as he gets up and commands his team to follow him. The three members of BTAOY walk outside to meet them as they are coming out of the van. The van empties and out comes Fred, Velma, Daphne, Scooby-Doo, Shaggy, Scooby-Dumb and Ewok #5.

“Sorry we’re late guys, we couldn’t find the place” Fred says to the angry wrestler.

“We were teleported here, how could you have gotten lost” Flair says.

“Well, we like to take the more scenic route” Fred says. About two seconds later he is gunned down by Cobra Viper #1. In fact, the Cobra soldier kills everyone but the dogs and the Ewok. The dogs and the Ewok manage to escape into the house. Tim Cheveldae is shocked to see two animals running into his house, though at this point, he is not that shocked. The dogs run in with what looks like a stuffed animal and instantly smell the cheesecake.

“Rey are you Rim Revelrae? Scooby says to the former hockey player.

“Um, I think so. Do you mean Tim Cheveldae?”

“Res, that’s what I read” Scooby-Doo says back.
Tim looks at the three of them and asks them if they are hungry. They are all very excited to hear these words and instantly say yes. Tim offers them up the Cheesecake but right as they are about to devour the desert, Ric Flair comes racing in the door and screams “Get your nasty paws off of my cake!”

The Viper then takes his gun out and prepares to mow down the rest of the team when Tim Cheveldae pleads with the soldier to not shoot up his house. The Cobra Viper puts his weapon down in respect for the IHL legend and Ric Flair agrees upon it as well.

“That’s fine Tim. For that meal, I will gladly take care of these things with my bare hands.” Just then Scooby-Dumb comes running after the former wrestler and though it looks like he is going to engage him in battle, in actuality, he is running for the dozer. He does eventually pick him up with his mouth and with one bite, swallows the poor guy right down. The Viper then smacks the dog on the head with his gun and puts one bullet in his head.

“Hey, what did I say about gunfire you guys” Tim says to the Viper soldier.

“Sorry Tim, it won’t happen again.” Flair looks at the Cobra Viper to tell him to stop the gunfire for good.

Then out of the blue, the Cobra soldier is hit directly in the throat with a butcher’s knife that came from the hands of Ewok #5. The Viper soldier falls instantly dead to the ground, which brings Flair back into the match completely. Flair then grab’s the gun from the dead Cobra’s hands and throws it outside. During this time Scooby-Doo has decided to start eating the Cheesecake that Flair so adamantly wants. Flair sees this and naturally runs over to Scooby-Doo and kicks him off of the cake. He then picks up Scooby-Doo by the scruff of the neck and throws him outside as well. He walks in once more and does the same thing to the Ewok.

He throws the Ewok outside as well but when he walks outside this time, he is met by a gun-toting Scooby Doo.

“Rooks rike you ret you ratch Ric”. Scooby then pulls the trigger but nothing happens. Scooby looks back at Flair and says, “Rut Row”.

“That’s right Scooby, no bullets. What do you think I’m F*@$*# stupid”. Flair then takes the gun from Scooby-Doo, loads it and proceeds to murder both the dog and the Ewok. As he walks into the house, Tim looks at him with disgust on his face.

“What the hell is wrong with you Ric, it’s just a cheesecake. How could you just murder them like that?” Tim says this to Flair, just now realizing what a mess he has gotten himself into.

“If you can’t stand the heat, than get you’re a$$ out of the kitchen. Now give me my cheesecake.”
Tim just looks at Ric and walks away in disgust. Ric looks back at him and says, “What? Didn’t you think it was going to be like this? I guess you should have thought about it before you let us come in and destroy everything. It’s not all fun and games Tim; I thought if anyone would have realized this, it would have been you. Go ahead, walk away Tim. Pretend you had nothing to do with this.” Ric eventually stopped talking and sat down at the kitchen table. He then picked up the fork next to his plate and finished the cake that he so intensely wanted.

Better Than All of You is Victorious!