Week 3 Consolation Matches Match #7: The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs Le' Napoleon's Brigade

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Bill Kelley.

Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade is Ron Meyer.

Disclaimer: I think this is F’n bulls#*!. It’s the end of June and I’m teleported back to the middle of February to watch a Consolation Match. Granted as a Watcher, I do not feel the cold or the warmth of the sun, but still, February sucks.

As Bill Kelley pulls up to Mike Sroka’s house, he notices that Ron Meyer is hacking away at the foundation of the house’s porch with a pickaxe and has made a nice sized hole in it. “What do you think you are doing? The battle is to be fought over here in the ditch,” exclaims Bill. “Oh I know, I’m just preparing your final resting place for you, since I’m am going to kill you in a matter of moments,” replies Ron. He then charges towards Bill, who is fully equipped with his tool belt and swings the pickaxe right towards Bill’s head, but misses. Bill then hits Ron right between the shoulder blades with his hammer, sending Ron to his knees in the icy ditch. He then reaches into his tool belt, pulls out his straight blade and slices both of Ron’s Achilles tendons. Ron lets out a horrendous scream, only to be quickly silenced by a swift kick to the head by Bill. Ron Meyer crumples over onto his back in the cold icy ditch as Bill stands above him. Bill stomps on Ron’s throat, crushing his trachea. Blood spurts out from Ron’s mouth. Bill the calmly walks over to his truck and pulls out a tear-off tool. He then proceeds to violently bash Ron Meyer’s head in with it, until there is little left but brain matter, dirt and ice chunks. Bill drags Ron Meyer’s body over to the porch and shoves it into the hold that Ron had made earlier. “Al Dogg sends his regards,” Bill says as he lights a victory cigarette.

THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS!