Team S.P. vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

"In my dreams here, I have seen… Coruscant itself shattered by orbital bombardment from ships of impossible design. I have seen Coruscant, the seat of galactic culture, become a jungle far more hostile and alien than any on Haruun Kal. I have seen the end of civilization."
―Mace Windu [in a vision circa 22 BBY]

I look at the teams to do battle on Coruscant during this Week 3 Match. They are as follows:

Team S.P.: Quicksilver, The Flash (Jay Garrett), Cyclops, Jean Grey, Ice Man, Beast, Angel, Banshee, Thunderbird, Blink, Cloak and Dagger, Mastermind, Binary, Jubilee, Female Sentinels #1-4, Biff Tannen (with a red lightsaber) and SHIELD Agent #1.

Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos: Dave Bowman-The Starchild, Numnius, Dex-Starr, Zombie Darkseid, Zombie Cloverfield Monster, Karu-Sil, Fatality, Taa, Rodimus Prime, Black Adam, Parallax, Bryan Beckerman (in Mandalorian Armor), Zombie Al Dogg, Zombie Doozer #1, Doozer #13 and Ewok Baby #5.

The planet once known as Coruscant is now an overgrown Yuuzhan Vong terraformed planet known as Yuuzhan’tar. I transport the teams to the planet.

Zombie Cloverfield Monster lunges across the twisted foliage located in the area that was once recognized as the Skydome Botanical Garden and is met by Female Sentinels #1-4. The Monster rips apart Female Sentinel #2 and has Female Sentinel #3 in its gigantic maw. Female Sentinels #1 and #4 use their combined restraining devices to wrap the Zombified Monster up and rescue Female Sentinel #3. With its limbs entangled, Zombie Cloverfield Monster does not stand a chance against the three Sentinels. The giant Trask robots use their energy blasts to destroy Zombie Cloverfield Monster. Rodimus Prime, Black Adam and Parallax fly at the robots. Black Adam destroys Female Sentinel #1, Rodimus Prime destroys Female Sentinel #3 and Parallax destroys Female Sentinel #4.

Across the way at the overgrown Galaxies Opera House, Biff Tannen ignites his red lightsaber. The Back to the Future bully spots Bryan Beckerman in his newly adorned Mandalorian Armor. Tannen believes that Beckerman is easy prey. Beckerman has analyzed and practiced with the armor ten hours a day (after work) and has gotten the hang of his newly-awarded gear. Beckerman fires the lasers located in his wrists at Tannen. Tannen easily deflects them. Beckerman thinks about Jango Fett in his battle with Obi Wan Kenobi and fires his utility ripcord at Tannen’s legs. The cord wraps around Tannen’s legs and Beckerman flies in the air, carrying Tannen in the sky. Tannen, not the sharpest tool in the shed, uses his lightsaber to slash the cord, releasing himself from the binding, but realizing on the way down that he is 30 feet in the air. Tannen hits the ground hard and begins to lose consciousness. Beckerman takes advantage of Tannen’s temporary stupor and shoves the small rocket-grenade located on his left wrist guard in Tannen’s mouth. Beckerman depresses the trigger and the rocket-grenade lodges itself in Tannen’s mouth.

Beckerman: You look like you have a splitting headache, Tannen; or should I just say- splitting head. Your bully days are over. . . beyaatch!

Beckerman flies away and Tannen’s head explodes as the grenade goes off.

Between the Botanical Garden and Opera House, SHIELD Agent #1 is surrounded by Zombie Al Dogg, Zombie Doozer #1, Doozer #13 and Ewok Baby #5. The SHIELD agent reaches for Doozer #13 and strangles it to death. In revenge, Zombie Doozer #1 jumps on the SHIELD agent and bites his neck.

SHIELD Agent #1: S@*t!!! Little b@stard bit me!

SHIELD Agent #1 collapses on the floor, only to rise again as Zombie SHIELD Agent #1. Before SHIELD Agent #1 can fight, Quicksilver and Flash-Jay Garrick race to the scene. At super speed, they repeatedly pummel SHIELD Agent #1’s head until it is split apart. SHIELD Agent #1 is dead – for real this time. The two speedsters then race around Zombie Al Dogg, Zombie Doozer #1 and Ewok Baby #5. The sheer force of the rotating whirlwind around the SP trio begins to rip them apart. Zombie Doozer #1 and Ewok Baby #5 are shredded. The explosion of the furry duo’s bodies manages to throw Zombie Al Dogg from the fray. Zombie Al Dogg wanders off. Flash and Quicksilver, thinking they have killed the trio, run their own ways.

Zombie Al Dogg stumbles around the jungle planet and comes upon Jubilee. Jubilee uses her mutant abilities to project pyrotechnic blasts around the zombie. Zombie Al Dogg is fascinated with the colors and sounds. Zombie Al Dogg feels like he did in life - medicated. Zombie Al Dogg is bewitched by Jubilee’s powers. With Zombie Al Dogg “stoned-out-of-it,” Jubilee unleashes a concussive blast that rips Al Dogg’s right arm off. Zombie Al Dogg shakes himself out of the hallucinogenic dream he was having and rushes after Jubilee; he is instantly upon her. Just as Zombie A.D. is about to bite her, Cloak and Dagger come upon the scene. Cloak engulfs Al Dogg and then spits Zombie A.D. out. Zombie Al Dogg is confused and rushes at Dagger. Dagger uses her light daggers to heal Zombie A.D. by ripping the zombie virus away from his body. Al Dogg is no longer Zombie Al Dogg – he is the living, breathing Al Dogg from last season.

Al Dogg: Groovy! I’m alive! I’m alive!!!

Cloak and Dagger look at Al Dogg. Cloak takes Dagger into his cloak and they teleport away. Al Dogg does not know why this duo committed the act they just did, but he is thankful. He does not see who Cloak and Dagger saw, ready and waiting for Dogg, before they left.

Al Dogg (f/k/a Zombie Al Dogg): I’m alive. . . I’m alive. . . I’m alive. . .

Beast: No my newly-resurrected friend. You’re actually quite dead.

Al Dogg’s life is brief as the Beast jumps on him and rips his arms off. The Beast then begins to beat Al Dogg with his own arms. A pummeled Al Dogg quickly bleeds out, but he dies with a smile on his face as the Zombie haze he has shambled with during this third season has been lifted from him. . . at least until the next match. . .

Mastermind sees Beckerman flying above the Opera House in his Mandalorian armor. Mastermind’s mutant abilities make Beckerman think that he is a dog. Beckerman lands on the ground and begins to bark. Mastermind smiles at the sight. As Mastermind comes upon Beckerman he manipulates the attorney such that he takes his helmet off. Beckerman sees Mastermind and sits down, butt wagging, waiting for his “master.” As Mastermind takes a sharpened vine from the ground and is about to kill Beckerman, Zombie Darkseid comes to the scene. Zombie Darkseid uses the Omega Force to rip Mastermind apart.

Darkseid: Get up, you pathetic pubic haired-wannabe-supernerd!

Beckerman slowly gets up and faces Darkseid: I am sorry. I have shamed this team and embarrassed its owners.

Darkseid: No longer. You shall realize true power and experience the fear of others who face you.

Darkseid looks to the sky and sees Parallax rushing toward the two. The cosmic entity rips through Beckerman who is engulfed in the cosmic entity’s essence. Beckerman is now possessed by Parallax. Beckerman places his helmet on and flies away. Darkseid smiles as their team, for the match, now has Mandalorian-armored, Beckerman-Parallax.

Numnius looks upon this scene and worries that this newly-formed entity will have far-reaching effects not only on this match, but will actually bear upon the future of the FFL. Numnius ponders whether to wipe out what has just occurred. Dave Bowman floats up next to her.

Bowman: I told you that if you ever held a glimmer of thought about something that would detrimentally affect our team, you would pay. That day has come.

Bowman unleashes his cosmic powers upon Numnius who is taken by surprise and cannot react in time. She is ripped apart.

In the air, Binary, Banshee and Angel are flying together. They are met by Karu-Sil, Dex-Starr, Fatality, Black Adam and Taa. Binary unleashes her stellar energies into Karu-Sil. Karu-Sil uses her yellow ring to shield herself from the blast. Binary strikes Karu-Sil again and eventually bests the Sinestro Corpsman; Karu-Sil dies. As Binary turns, she is met by the ferocity of Dex-Starr. The blue, alien cat rips apart Binary’s face and then uses its red lantern ring to finish the job. Binary’s dead body falls to the ground. Across the sky, Black Adam battles Angel. Black Adam manages to get behind Angel. Hen then uses his super-strength to rip the wings off of the flying mutant. Angel plummets to his death. Banshee, just having seen two of his teammates fall to their deaths, uses his sonic scream to rattle Black Adam. Banshee then uses his remaining powers to kill Black Adam before he can gain his senses. Taa focuses on Banshee. The alien green lantern uses his ring’s powers to encase Banshee so his screams cannot do further harm. Taa slowly reduces the size of Banshee’s encasement. When Banshee cannot move around, both Fatality and Dex-Starr finish the screaming mutant’s life.

The remaining SP teammates come together for the penultimate battle against the Commandos. Quicksilver, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Ice Man, Beast, Thunderbird, Blink, Cloak and Dagger, Jubilee and The Flash (Jay Garrett) stand over the remnants of the Galactic Museum. They face Dex-Starr, Zombie Darkseid, Fatality, Taa, and Rodimus Prime.

Dave Bowman-The Starchild and Mandalorian-armored, Bryan Beckerman-Parallax sit back and watch the action unfold.

Immediately Cloak teleports next to Taa and engulfs him with his cloak. Taa is transported to the Darkforce dimension. The Darkforce begins to eat at Taa’s mind. As Cloak regurgitates Taa back into the world, Jean Grey uses her powers to further enhance the effects on his brain and Taa dies as his mind simply implodes in on itself.

Jay Garrick focuses on Dex-Starr. Garrick uses his super speed to avoid the red lantern’s power ring weaponry, but only for so long. The sheer determination and ferocity of the alien cat are too much for Garrick, who eventually succumbs to Dex-Starr’s ring.

Quicksilver rushes at Zombie Darkseid. Zombie Darkseid uses his psionic powers but is unable to strike the speedster. While he is distracted, Iceman uses his abilities to freeze him. Zombie Darkseid fights the process and it takes almost all of Iceman’s will, energy and power to hold the zombie in its icy jail. While frozen, Darkseid’s head is pounded by a barrage of Thunderbird’s strength, Cloak’s light daggers, Jubilee’s energy plasmoids and Cyclops’ optic blasts. It is too much for Zombie Darkseid, who is eventually destroyed.

Rodimus Prime steps behind a weakened Iceman, having spent nearly his entire life-force holding Zombie Darkseid in place. Prime skewers Iceman with his retractable saw blade. Iceman crumples to the floor dead.

Cyclops: BOBBY!!!!!!

At the death of his teammate, Cyclops rips off his glasses and unleashes the full power of his optic blast upon Prime. Prime is ripped apart. Blink then uses her teleportation warp to spread pieces of Prime throughout the jungles of Yuuzhan-tar. Blink rejoins her team after her task is completed. Her entry into this fray is short-lived as she is killed, along with teammates Jean Grey and Beast by Fatality and Dex-Starr. Cyclops, with his visor now on, focuses the full power of his eyes at Fatality and Dex-Starr. Their bodies are shredded by the sheer force of Cyclops’ massive ray.

Cylcops, Jubilee, Thunderbird, Cloak and Dagger, and Quicksilver look for the remaining Commandos. Bowman looks to Mandalorian-armored, Beckerman-Parallax.

Bowman: You may finish this.

Mandalorian-armored, Beckerman-Parallax flies down to Team SP’s remaining members. In power that has not been seen since Hal Jordan-Parallax, M.A.B.P. unleashes his powers at Team SP. Jubilee, Thunderbird, Cloak and Dagger, and Quicksilver are seen quivering at the power of M.A.B.P. Beckerman then uses his Mandalorian weaponry to kill each SP member. As he is about to finish Cyclops, Cyclops unexpectedly rips off his visor. Cyclops unleashes the full power of his uninhibited optic blast at M.A.B.P. Before it can reach Beckerman, Dave Bowman steps in front of Beckerman and absorbs the ray. Bowman then fires it back at Cyclops and kills him.

Bowman: You have served our team well today.

Beckerman (taking off his helmet): Thanks.

Bowman: Beckerman-put your helmet back on. It’s not that I cannot look at your face, it’s that the helmet makes you look more formidable. You look like a bastardized version of Billy Crystal without it.

Beckerman shrugs and puts his helmet back on. The two fly away.

Team S.P.: All dead.

Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos: Mandalorian-armored Beckerman-Parallax and Dave Bowman-The Starchild live.

POP-SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA & PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!