Season Three: Week Three: Consolation Match: The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs. The Syracuse Valley

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets are Bill Kelly (w/ blue light saber), Nightwing and Smurf #2.

The Syracuse Valley are Splinter and Scooter.

Bill Kelly instantly ignited his light saber as the Midgets entered the second story apartment that they assumed the match would take place in. Nightwing followed behind him with Smurf #2 sitting on his shoulder.

Bill Kelly: “I suppose this is it, but where the hell are the Valley?”

Nightwing: “I don’t know, it seems awfully quiet in here, even for a consolation match.”

Bill Kelly: “Hey you pu$$#@s, show yourself.”

They wait there a minute or so but never here or see a thing. They decide to walk through the apartment and after a couple of minutes of inspection realize that they don’t have an opponent to fight.

Nightwing: “Well, I’ve heard of team’s not finding each other for long period’s of time, but there is nowhere to hide in here. Where the hell are they?


Splinter and Scooter walk into the kitchen of a small two-bedroom house ready to fight. Splinter has told Scooter that he should try to calm himself before this battle and try not to get to flustered before the fight. Scooter reminds Splinter that he is not exactly the best fighter in the world anyways, but that he will do his best. After doing a quick check through the house, the two Valley members begin to wonder why they are still alone.

Scooter: “Don’t you think it is kind of odd Master Splinter that we are the only one’s in here right now?”

Splinter: “I do find it odd indeed. We shall investigate this anomaly further before we do anything drastic.”

Scooter: “Ah sure, that’s fine with me. I don’t mind the sitting and waiting though, kind of a huge fan of that.”

Splinter takes no notice of Scooter’s last comment and begins to carefully move through the tiny house. It does not take them long to search the place and just as the Midgets have found, there is nobody in the house to fight.

Scooter: “Um Master, I’m pretty sure were alone in here. Not that I’m complaining or anything, but I don’t think that there is anything to find in this place.”

Splinter: “I believe that you are right my son. We shall meditate on this and wait for the solution to present itself.”

Scooter: “Works for me.”

Splinter and Scooter both sit on the floor of the living room and begin to meditate. Well, okay, Splinter began to mediate and Scooter just sat there and stared at the wall. In the meantime though, the midgets were taking a proactive approach to this dilemma and were going door to door in the apartment building looking for their opponents.


Bill: “This is getting us nowhere. We’ve checked out over half the building already and nobody has even the slightest clue of what we are even talking about. Plus, is it just me or doesn’t this place have an early 80’s vibe to it?”

Nightwing: “Yeah, that’s because it’s 1982 at this place. There was a newspaper at one of the doors and I checked it out. You’d think nothing would ever surprise me anymore in this league but every match something new always seems to happen.”

Bill: “So we just gonna keep on walking door to door or should we go back to where we started?”

Nightwing: “I suppose we should head back. We were transported there so I would imagine that it must be where we are going to fight.”

The three of them begin to head back to the apartment in which they started at. When they finally make it back, Bill goes to open the door when Nightwing abruptly stops him.

Bill: “What the hell!”

Nightwing: “Just listen for a second. Do you hear that?”

Bill: “Hear what? It’s sounds quiet to me.”

Nightwing: “Somebody’s in there, I know it.”

Bill: “So what, then let’s open up the door to finish off this b@$@h!”

Nightwing: “Wait, just let me think for a second. (Pauses) Okay, I’ve got it.”

After a minute or so Nightwing has managed to perch himself on the ceiling outside of the door, while Bill Kelly stands to the left of the door with his light saber in hand. Kelly then opens the door from the side while Smurf #2 stands directly in front of the opening. They both realize that putting the Smurf directly in harm’s way is risky, but they believe that whomever their opponent is will be more startled by the site of such a weak opponent and rather then just blast him to bits without a moments thought, they will pause for a moment which will give them the time they would need to get the upper hand. They also know that even if the latter happens, the loss of the Smurf is negligible in terms of the end game of this match. Though as the door opens, the Smurf has a bewildered look on his face.

Smurf: “What the hell?”

Bill: “Is there anyone in there?”

Smurf #2: “Define there?”

Bill peaks his head around the corner and instead of seeing the inside of the apartment, he sees the inside of the place Splinter and Scooter and meditating in.

Bill: “Well, I can’t say that I’ve ever seen anything like this before.”

Smurf #2: “Well I gotta see what this is all about.”

Smurf #2 then walks into the other house to investigate the situation. He is actually kind of excited because of the bizarre nature of this match, but when he turns around to say something to Bill he finds that he is all-alone with only an empty neighborhood behind him.

Smurf #2: “Oh S#%&!”


As Bill Kelly watches Smurf #2 begin to walk into the room, he thinks to himself that he could just stay back for a minute and wait to see if his little blue teammate could stir something up for them. As he watched the Smurf crossover into the room he saw something that was even more unexplainable then the room existing in the first place. Bill stood there in disbelief as he watched his teammate completely vanish into thin air. Gone was the other room with the Smurf standing in it and back in its place was the entryway to the apartment in which they had started.

Bill: “Well, now what do you want to do.”

Nightwing: “Well it’s obvious that these two places are connected, so I say we go back in there and see if we can’t find another room that might take us there.”

Bill: “Okay, but we need to be careful. It’s pretty clear that only one of us will be able to pass through so we need to put that into consideration.”

Nightwing: “I agree completely, but let’s first find this thing before we do anything else.”

Bill: “Well yeah, no sh#%!”


Splinter was still meditating when Smurf #2 walked into their house. Scooter was just kind of sitting there waiting for Splinter to finish when he heard something coming from the front of the house.

Scooter: “Did you hear something?”

Splinter: “Yes, someone has entered through the front door.”

Scooter: “What the hell dude, why didn’t you say something to me!”

Splinter: “Because I knew you would overreact immediately and go off and try to kill them yourself.”

Scooter: “Well I don’t know about that. I might go on a search but it’s doubtful that I would just go start a fight on my own. That’s just not my style.”

Splinter: “Well, regardless I found it to be a better idea to wait for them to come to us.

Scooter: “That’s seems pretty stupid if you ask me.”

Splinter: “Well I wasn’t so just sit back and do as I say.”

The Smurf walked carefully through the house as he knew he had virtually no protection whatsoever as he was the lone member of his team in this place. The one thing the Smurf did have on his side was his size though. He could sneak around the house with the stealth like precision of a mouse. As he slowly walked along the edges of the room he noticed two figures in the kitchen, one of which was tinkering with something in his suit. The Smurf couldn’t tell what he was doing, but he noticed projections of some kind coming off of his robotic body. The Smurf couldn’t quite figure out what was going on, but he knew that the longer these two had alone the worse it was going to be for him.


Bill and Nightwing continued their search for another opening to no avail.

Bill: “Are we doing something wrong, why can’t we find this thing?”

Nightwing: “I don’t know, maybe I was wrong with thinking that we could find another opening someplace else, let’s just get out of this place and try the front door again.”

Bill: “Works for me, that Smurf has to be running out of time.”

The two of them go towards the front door and open it, what they see on the other is a little shocking to them. Instead of seeing the hallway of the apartment complex, they see the same exact room that the Smurf walked into.

Bill: “Well, again I still didn’t see this coming.”

Nightwing: “Yeah, it’s kind of hard to plan something around this scenario.”

Bill: “Well, am I going through this thing or are you?”

Nightwing: “I’ve been thinking about that. What if we both jump through the thing at the same time? I mean, wouldn’t it be the same thing?”

Bill: “Yeah, I suppose. I guess it is worth a shot. The only thing that worries me even the slightest is that the second that Smurf went though the door the thing closed up. If we are not going through at the exact same time, we might not make it through all the way.”

Nightwing: “Well, I see your point but I think it is an acceptable risk.”

The two of them then stood in the door way and on the count of three, both jumped through to the next room. Bill landed on his feet just fine with no side effect caused by the make shift portal. The same could not be said for Nightwing though. Maybe it was bad timing or perhaps sending two people through this thing at once just broke the rules of its use, but Nightwing was now stuck in between the two places as his left leg was still on the other side.

Bill: “Oh s%#@ dude, are you alright.”

Nightwing: “Oh sure, being stuck between two worlds via a portal is awesome.”

Bill: “I mean are you in pain?”

Nightwing: “No, actually it doesn’t hurt at all. I just can’t move my leg. It’s like it is in cement or something. Try to pull me out.”

Bill grabs a hold of his teammates arm and tries to pull him through the door. When he does this Nightwing lets out a scream that would send chills down even the most heartless person’s body. Bill immediately stopped pulling and realized that they were probably not only in trouble because of this, but that their opponents now knew sure well that they were here.

Bill: “I’ll be back in a minute, they have to know we are here now. Let me go and see if I can still keep them away from you.”

Bill then moved through the house still not hearing anything when out of the corner of his eye he saw a giant rat meditating on the floor of the kitchen. He waited a good thirty seconds before he made his attack but as he ran into the kitchen and jammed his light saber into Splinter, he realized the entire thing had been a ruse as his sword went directly through the holographic projection.

Before Bill was even able to fully understand what was going on, the real Splinter had knocked him down onto the floor of the kitchen. Now that Splinter had Bill down on the ground, it didn’t take him long to wrestle the light saber away from him and soon enough the very skilled rat had broken the neck of over matched Kelly.

With Nightwing still stuck in the portal, the Valley had the major advantage in the fight. Scooter watched the entire portal incident and was well aware of the pain it caused him. This gave Scooter the confidence he needed to run up on the portal bound super hero and pulled on his arm, sending a surge of pain throughout his entire body. As Nightwing just stood there screaming in agony, Splinter came over to his enemy and ended his misery by cutting off his head with Bill Kelly’s light saber.

Splinter looked very sternly at Scooter and said, “There was no need to cause that man so much pain. Next time just end it immediately. That is a move that someone on the Horseman or the Kennelz would do. I don’t want us to be like that.”

Scooter: (Under his breathe) “What, champion’s.”

Splinter then turned around and ignited his light saber an inch away from the Gobot characters neck.

Splinter: “No, I think you know exactly what I am talking about. Now go finish off that Smurf so we can go home.”

Scooter: “What Smurf?”

Splinter: “The Smurf that has been spying on us for over an hour. (He pauses and stares at the robot) You know what, never mind.”

Splinter then pushed aside the chair that the Smurf has been hiding under and crushed him into the wall, killing him. Splinter then looked over at Scooter and said, “At one point during this match I thought you might actually be worthwhile, but now I know you are just born to be a failure.”

Scooter looked on as Splinter walked away from him with the feeling of sickness in his stomach, as he knew that even though this was a victory, he had lost the respect of his teammate forever.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: All Dead

The Syracuse Valley: Splinter and Scooter survived.

The Syracuse Valley is Victorious!!!