Thursday, March 10, 2011

week 2- The Abomitrons vs The Transfoamers

The Abomitrons is: Mario Mario, Luigi Mario, Batman w/ green lantern ring, and Leviathon

The Transfoamers is: Rebel Trooper #1, Black Lantern Darth Bane, Darth Zannah, and Hammer Brothers #17-22



Rebel Trooper #1 bursts in to the Transfoamers locker room which is still occupied with Hammer Bros. 18, 21, and 22. The Transfoamers locker room absolutely, completely 100% reeks of alcohol.

"What's going on around here? Why does it smell like Miguel Cabrera's liver exploded in here?" Rebel Trooper #1 demands to know

"I dunno about this guy over here..." Hammer Brother #18 slurs "but this brother is HAMMERED!!!"

"Awww, no way" responds Brother #21 "THIS Brother is HAMMERED too!!!"

"You guys aren't gonna believe this but..." begins #22

"I swear to god, if you say this brother is hammered I will shoot you in the face" Rebel Trooper #1 growls. "Why are you guys all wasted when we've got a match going on out there, we're getting our butts kicked?"

"Heh. Dude. Why are we losing?" asks #18 "It's like Batman, some goofy fish guy and then some Immells against us and some Star Trek guys. We got home field advantage."

"Immel? What's an Immel? That sounds lame." #21 chimes in "Like isn't that a baseball player or something?"

"That's a Trammel" an increasingly agitated Rebel Trooper responds "An Immel is like a combination of two things or something like that, but that's not the point there's been a roster change."

"Heh. I guess you're an Immel then Trooper" #22 says cutting off the Rebel mid-sentence "You're a combo of my butt and uhhhh a BUTT!!!!"

"AWWWWW, SICK BURN!!!!!" #18 screeches

Hammer Bro #21 puts an empty beer case on his head, raises his hammer and for no reason yells out "I AM THOR!!"

"Guys! There are NO Immels, they got switched out at the last minute for the Mario Brothers." the Trooper is able to finish his sentence, finally relaying this important bit of info to the tankered turtles.

"Wait. What? The Mario Brothers?? Those guys suck" #22 says "Why are those d-bags fighting? They're not Immels. Wha happened?"

Rebel Trooper is able to compose himself to finally regale the trashed tortesi the tale of the match thus far "At the last second the Abomitrons realized that world 2-2 would give the Marios a pretty good home field advantage..."

"RIPOFF ARTISTS!!!!"

"Shut up. Anyway. Me, that creepy black lantern, Darth Zannah, and the other Hammer Brothers started the battle and we were able to take out Luigi, but all that did was royally cheese off Mario who took out Darth Zannah, Batman handled your brothers and Darth Bane got eaten by the Leviathon. I barely escaped to come and find you schmucks here getting plowed."

"Heh. You ran away? The Mighty Thor wouldst never run from a fight you sissy girl." #21 retorts "Well, let's got hammer us some..who are we fighting again?"

"Who cares. I gotta take a leak, let's get to the water and take care of my business and then the rest of the business." #18 says

"Fine, whatever. Let's go." the exasperated Rebel Trooper says.

The rest of the beleaguered Transfoamers warp out of a green pipe and wind up right infront of the Abomintrons.

"Oh. $@*#" says the Rebel Trooper reaching for his blaster as Hammer Brother #22 says "HEY!!! I know those GUYS!!! It's teh Batman!!!"

"-tt-" says Batman and wills a giant green mallet into existence that he uses to bonk Hammer Brother #22 on the head, killing him.

"Dude, this music sucks. I'll be right back Hammer Brother #18 remarks about the classic Mario theme and warps down into the green pipe again, narrowly missing a fireball that Mario has thrown at his head.

The Rebel Trooper is not as lucky as the eighteenth Hammer Brother and is fried by Mario's flaming ball of death.

"Okie Dokie. Let'sa finish offa this meatball and getta some spaghetti" Mario gleefully proclaims, as it looks like he has avoided going to the FantasyFantasy Graveyard this match.

Then, fate intervenes and turns this entire battle on it's head.

Suddenly the world of 2-2 is rocked by a synthesized beat and the words "Hot and dangerous, if you're one of us than roll with us. Cause we make the hipsters fall in love, when we got our hotpants on and up"

"Wha?" says Batman who turns his head to see where the vocal styling of Ke$ha is springing from.

"Have at thee. Taste the might of mjolen...mah-joll,,mah..uh...my HAMMER" says the still inebriated #21 and throws his hammer at he glowing green dark knight

As the tiny hammer is hurtling at the Batman, the Leviathon suddenly start to twitch and then his chest explodes as it turns out Black Lantern Darth Bane is not out of this fight yet.

"Mama Mia!" shouts Mario who is suddenly impaled through the chest, ironically, by part of the Leviathon's ribcage

Now it's down to the Black Lantern, the Dark Knight and one halfshell that's half in the bag. Batman readies himself assessing the situation when behind him he hears the sound of a pipe warp and Hammer Brother #18 pops out yelling "Dude. I this is MY JAM!!! We're tearing it apar-par-par-par-papart. You know we're superstars" he croons as he pulls the handles off of his hammers and turns them into glowsticks and starts dancing like a rave kid among the chaos.

This provides just enough distraction for Darth Bane to swoop in and, just like the DC villain of the same name but minus the Darth part, breaks Batman's back over his knee, killing the caped crusader as Darth Bane is hardcore.

"Dude. Did we win?" questions Hammer Brother #18 as black lantern Darth Bane flies off to find more suitable prey than a pair of alcoholic turtles.

"Verily. Now let us celibrate with a flaggered of mead" says Hammer Brother #21

"Huh?"

"Dude Let's get us some SHOTS!!!!"

"Hecks ya. You're buying, I'm flying!!!" and the two victorious tortoise stagger off to continue their binge.


The Abomitrons: ALL DEAD

The Transfoamers: Black Lantern Darth Bane, and Hammer Brothers #18 and #21 survive.




THE TRANSFOAMERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!

3 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Cool layout dude!! Funny match. Congrats Rob. 2 & 0 Transfoamers!! Baby. Play-offs perhaps...???.

Rob said...

that is a dirty word right now. Holy crap that's awesome.

gryfflin said...

that match was funny as hell.