Saturday, March 12, 2011

Season 4, Week 2: Horsemen of Apokolips vs. Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family

“I was just a little bi-curious.”
-Ramona Flowers

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 2 Match located at World 2-2. ALL WATER. NO POSSIBILITY FOR AIR. They are as follows:

The Horsemen of Apokolips- Flamebird, Nightwing and Fry Guy #1.

Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family-
Capt. Nathan Bridger, Lucas Wolenczak, Dr. Westphalen, Commander John Ford, Lt. Benjamin Krieg, Chief Manilow Crocker, Tim O'Neil, Lt. James Brady, Dagwood and Anthony Piccolo in The Seaquest DSV 4600; Sea Worm #7; Ramona Flowers (w/ a Star Sapphire Ring) and Black Lantern Hydro-Man.

I AM ATTEMPTING TO UNDERSTAND THE REASONING OF THE HORSEMEN’S OWNER AND HIS LINEUP DECISION IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT HE HAS A NUMBER OF EXTREMELY FORMIDABLE “WATER” COMBATANTS AND THE FACT THAT THIS BATTLE IS ONLY IN THE WATER-WITH NO CHANCE OF AIR. I AM STRUCK AT THE HORROR OF WHAT FOLLOWS AND WHAT MUST, ULTIMATELY BE. . . .

Let the battle begin. . .

The Seaquest fires its torpedoes at Flamebird and Nightwing. The two super-powered females repeatedly shrug off the concussive blasts of the submarine’s weaponry. While the submersible focuses on the females, Fry Guy #1 manages to enter into the torpedo tube between firings. Fry Guy #1 shimmies up the cylinder and pops out of the compartment. Now onboard, he intends to cause mayhem. Fry Guy #1 bumps into Dr. Westphalen. Fry Guy #1 jumps on her face and wraps his legs around the female doctor. Dr. Westphalen suffocates with fur balls in her mouth. Fry Guy then spots Tim O’Neil and trips him with his long legs. O’Neil bangs his head against a pipe and is knocked unconscious. Fry Guy #1 then mashes his wiggly feet down O’Neil’s throat; O’Neil suffocates. Fry Guy #1 passes by the mess hall and stops. He sees McDonald’s fries on the table. It just so happens that the crew stopped by the fast food chain before leaving the locker room docks for World 2-2. Fry Guy is distracted from his task of killing the Seaquest crew and focuses on what he was put in this existence to do- steal the fries. As he begins munching on the fries, he is met by both Dagwood and Piccolo. The two crewmates destroy the furry imp.

While their teammate is being ripped apart inside the ship, Flamebird and Nightwing decide to join forces outside of the ship. The two use their speed and power to barrel through the Seaquest. The tears in the ship cause a dramatic loss in pressure and the submarine begins to implode.

Inside the Seaquest, Lucas Wolenczak is seen next to Capt. Nathan Bridger. Bridger longingly stares at Lucas.

Lucas (tears beginning to well in his eyes): I know. . . .

The ship implodes. The only crew member who manages to escape is Piccolo due to his genetically enhanced gills which allow him to breathe under water. Ramona Flowers who uses her Star Sapphire Ring to breath, joins Piccolo. Nightwing focuses on Piccolo and crushes his entire ribcage and heart with one blow to the chest. Ramona Flowers responds and barrages Nightwing with ring constructs. Although Nightwing is able to batter the projectiles away, she begins to tire since she has held her breath for the entire match up to this point. While Flowers focuses on Nightwing, Flamebird takes advantage of this fact and comes from behind. Flowers cannot focus on both Nightwing and Flamebird at the same time. In an instant, Flamebird is able to reach Flowers and snap her neck. Nonetheless, the energy used to gain position against Flower’s ring causes both super heroines to tire to near exhaustion since they have been holding their breaths for this incredible period of time.

Black Lantern Hydro Man takes advantage of the fatigue and lack of air currently suffered by both Nightwing and Flamebird. BL Hydro Man uses his combined abilities to thrust both lantern constructs and water projectiles at the Apokolips’ heroines. Eventually the damage suffered by both Nightwing and Flamebird is too much. Before they contemplate perishing in this match, they use their combined abilities to reach BL Hydro Man. The two’s clothes are shredded apart, but they manage to dislodge the black lantern ring from Hydro Man. Hydro Man’s corpse becomes inert and perishes. His body becomes one in the same as the waters around him.

Nightwing and Flamebird are clearly near death, but they have conquered all seen on the battlefield. That is, until Seaworm #7 rises from the depths and engulfs them both. The two are not able to battle the gigantic behemoth and they perish within.

Horsemen of Apokolips: All dead.

Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: Seaworm #7 alive.

LAYANDER’S SUPER ORANGE KITTIES AND CATS LIVING TOGETHER TO MAKE A FAMILY IS VICTORIOUS!!!

3 comments:

Ryan said...

Eh, I took a chance. It didn't pan out. Nice win kids.

Josh the Commish said...

Cool match Becks.

Lickolas said...

Good stuff Becks, water weeks are brutal.