Saturday, March 12, 2011

Alice's Wonder Team Vs. The Tijuana Taco Benderz

The following match was witnessed by this week's special guest watcher Katatu.

Alice’s Wonder Team vs. Tijuana Taco Benders

“Taco’s sure sound delicious!” said Lady Q in a godlike tone. “Well, I would say you are at the right place at the right time” responded Sharkticon. Lady Q and Sharkticon have been placed together as a team and are in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, studying the effects the most contaminated beach water on earth has on sea life. As they made their way over to the nearest taco stand, a strange scent over powered the mouth-watering aroma of fresh Mexican made tacos. It was a mint berry scent. Both Lady Q and Sharkticon had never smelled such a combination and noticed it was arising from a boy standing in front of them. Lady Q tapped the boy and asked what his deal was smelling like minty berries. Immediately taking offense, Mint Berry Crunch started to spin around in place and shouted "Shablagoo!!" He informed Lady Q and Sharkticon that he has the power is to control mint and berries with a satisfying crunch. “Did you say crunch?” asked Sharkticon, and bit Mint Berry Crunch’s head off.
The crunch of Mint Berry Crunch’s head being chomped inside Sharkticons mouth, pulled on lookers from all around the taco stand. A few of these onlookers included Mysterion, Lavos, and Silver Sentry. “Hey man, what’s your problem?” asked Mysterion. Neither Lady Q nor Sharkticon had even hard of Mysterion. The question “Who is Mysterion?” would haunt many for at least a year. Lavos, who still had some taco left on his face had indicated that it doesn’t matter who Mysterion is, and that they had better watch out. Lady Q explained why they were there and the work they need to do with the waters of Puerto Vallarta. The remaining members of The Tijuana Taco benders knew this would greatly upset their buddy, Tsunami, another member of their crew. This was about to get really ugly. Lady Q and Sharkticon were on Team Tijuana Taco Benders turf and it was on like Donkey Kong.
The Tijuana Taco Benders are from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. The beach in Puerto Vallarta has been reported the dirtiest beach in Mexico for the past several years. It is their home, and they really love tacos. The Tijuana Taco Benders have a member who does most of his work in the dirty waters of Puerto Vallarta. Tsunami has control of the water in Puerto Vallarta, and he likes it just the way it is. If intruders try to mess with his water, he gets really upset. Shortly after, Mysterion, Silver Sentry, and Lavos reported this news to Tsunami. Tsunami was pissed. He started spitting water bullets at random people at the taco stand. These water bullets killed a total of 5 Mexicans, and it freed up 8 tacos all together, of which the Tijuana Taco Benders shared and enjoyed.
After a restful night, the Tijuana Taco Benders met up at the shoreline of the beach in Puerto Vallarta. To their surprise, Lady Q and Sharkticon were already at the beach with a backpack full of water testing instruments. As Lady Q dipped a pH strip, Tsunami appeared in front of them and asked what they were doing. Sharkticon indicated these waters were filthy and they wanted to test it in order to take proper action to clean it up. With Tsunami using questions as a distraction, Silver Sentry flew above Lady Q and knocked the test strip out of her hand. With her Godlike powers, she back handed Silver Sentry, and knocked him into Lavos. Lavos said “oh Hell No!” and ate the water testing supplies. This left Lady Q and Sharkticon with nothing left to do their job. After the supplies was engulfed, Lavos thought he would take other matters into his own hands and tried to suck the life out of the powerful Lady Q. When he tried this, he was able to get a hold of her arm in his mouth, and her forces pushed him away. With arm in mouth, Lady Q’s arm was ripped off. Still powerful? Yes… but minus an arm. What damage could this really do?
Mysterion Grabbed Lady Q’s arm and began to bitch slap Sharkticon across the face. While trying to escape such a mysterious beating, not really understanding how Lady Q’s arm was beating him by the force of Mysterion, he grabbed a hold of the arm and ate it. Mysterion was left with only his mysterious powers and his inability to die. Could this be enough for Mysterion? We will soon find out.
Tsunami who was still pissed about the water testing decided he was going to end it all with Lady Q and Sharkticon. He began dodging water bullets and blasts of water in hopes to kill or at least strangely wound them. The blasts had knocked Lady Q down a few times. The last time left her mutilated and desperate for her arm back. Unfortunately for her, her arm was in the process of being digested by her teammate, Sharkticon.
Mysterion had noticed that the blasts of water had slightly impaired the duo, so he thought outside the box, literally. Mysterion had constructed a combination plate from the nearby taco stand. Offering this fuel to injured opponents as a distraction. Lady Q could see what Mysterion was trying to do. She tried several times to destroy him with her godlike powers, but Mysterions inability to die made him weak, but did not kill him. She began to understand that this boy was never going to die, so she one-handed bitch slapped him until he was in a deep coma. “That is about as close to the last of him as I can come,” said Lady Q. Mysterion was placed in a hammock for a long siesta.
The Tijuana Taco Benders were now down two members. The only thing Lady Q was down was an arm and Sharkticon was totally fine. He was also full after eating his teammates arm. While in Robot form, Sharkticon decided he was going to try to use mechanical powers and go after Lavos. Sharkticon, not being the brightest sharky in the tank, had forgotten the damage water could do to robotic beings, such as himself. While Tsunami remembered the same deal, Tsunami kicked Sharkticon in the mechanical nuts, and then drowned his ass until his electric/mechanical powers were no more. Sharkticon was kind of a bitch and knocked off really easily.
Seeing her only buddy be killed of so easily, Lady Q was pretty pissed. She decided she was going to use her powers to morph these dweebs into other less powerful life forms. It wouldn’t be easy, but she was successful at turning Lavos into a turd and Tsunami into a raccoon. Upon this morphing, she picked up Lavos the turd and threw it at Tsunami the Raccoon. Lavos the turd knocked Tsunami the raccoon out for just a few seconds. Lady Q saw victory until Tsunami the raccoon awoke. Tsunami made his way over to Lady Q, bit her and gave her rabies. Tsunami and the Tijuana Taco Benders are victorious!

3 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Great work Kate. Thanks so much!! You rule.

Solobeck said...

Nice match!
-B2

Lickolas said...

Hell yeah Kate, good match!

It was like a Saturday Morning Cartoon.