Monday, March 25, 2013

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are Aang, Katara, Sokka, The Lochness Monster, Opee Sea Killers #1-5, and The Shark.

Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Oceanus, Tethys, Calypso, Nerkkod: Breaker of Oceans/combined with Nightsister Sith Witch #1, and Marko Aleksandrovich Ramius w/ Navy SEAL Chief #14 and 15 and Navy SEAL #45-50 in The Red October.

DAMMIT!! Watching this match last minute and in the middle of the night again!! Just trying to get stuff done all week long and it never happens. Trying to keep the universe afloat and it's always me that ends up sinking. Chasing screaming Super-Kitties all over my house all weekend and just never have time to get done the important stuff. AND WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY BONGO!! I just had this damn thing detailed and now it's out of gas and reaks of cheap beer, cheep weed, and cheep Gungan. Next time I see The Neon Master Bozo, he's getting a couple of swift kicks to each one of his nuts. But anyway, let's get down to the Watching. The Planet Core is going crazy with The Murderflies “Bending” the Hell out of the water and Calypso fighting back by causing more waves than a retiring pope. Calypso then wraps a mystical shroud around The Shark cutting off his movement and in essence drowning him before he can get close enough to attack. The Nightsister, aside from “breaking the ocean”, is using her now god-like reinforced powers of empathy to control Nessie and and The Opee Sea Killers in an attempt to use them against The Murderflies, but Katara puts a water shield around herself, in essence turning herself into a human water torpedo and rockets straight through The Breaker of Oceans. This puts everything back in to balance and creates an extremely pitched battle between both teams (Ha, now I'm stealing Becks' line to describe the entire story!! Beat that one Ryan... Oh that's right, he's retired too (damn, I still need to start the internet campaign to get those two back, another damn thing to take up my time)). The Opee Sea Killers and Nessie start swarming The Red October, while Aang starts mixing it up with Calypso, Katara battles with the Old Woman of the Sea Tethys, and Sokka gets stuck with the embodiment of the Sea himself Oceanus. “Minor gods my A**” is the quote I most likely would have heard from The Water Benders if I could here anything through this air tight Bongo (other than the FM Soundtrack, which I can't get out of the CD Player). These battles rage on for quite some time without either side gaining the upper hand, but then my day weekend really get ruined. The two sides begin stirring up the planet core so fiercely, that my bongo gets punctured and the electric system goes on the fritz. I mean come on, I got: MONSTERS OUT THERE, LEAKIN IN HERE, ALL SINKIN AND NO POWER!! I begin to lose control of Una Bongo and then barely manage to make it to an out cropping where I pop out on to the Naboo shore. “DAMMIT!! Now I've got to try and fix this thing so I can get back down there and finish watching this match. Like I wanted to spend more time wrenching on this thing”. I then find out, that the reason the electrical system is all screwed up is because of that a** the Neon Master Pogo and all of his after market bulls**t, that punk is dead as soon as I am done with this match. An hour goes by, and I am making no progress at all with this piece of Gungan made crap (next time I am totally buying American). Then, all of the sudden Navy SEAL #47 comes popping out of the same hole that my bongo came out of. He's soaking wet and all banged up. He's shaking his head trying to get rid of the dizzies when I ask walk up to him. “What the hell are you doing up here”? I ask. The Navy SEAL begins to tell me what he knows and says: “All I can tell you is what Calypso told me. She all of the sudden appeared inside The Red October where she pulled me into my private quarters”. I interrupt: “That's hot, did you hit that”? The SEAL answers: “Hells yeah Cousin”!! “Sweet, for real” I respond. “Ehhh, no not really” he says (everybody thinks that you can't lie to a watcher... If they only knew). Anyways, back to what the sailor was saying. “She said that although Oceanus and Tethys are gods, they are not fighters by nature and that they can be defeated and eventually would be by such heroes as were sent out by The Murderflies. She then informed me that The Red October could no longer take much abuse from the sea creatures, and that it would eventually not just sink, but when it does eventually go down that the nuclear reactor on board would rupture and it would take out everybody. She said that her godlike powers gave her the foresight to see this and that it would be “The Creature from Lochness” who would eventually deliver the killing blow and who would be her demise and exit from the world of Fantasy Fantasy”. But she said that she was eternally loyal to The Kennelz, and she said that she knew I was too. Which I am sir, I would do anything for my team and my teammates. She said she could make sure that we at least won the match even if she couldn't stop the destruction of our water squad, by getting one of us out of the planet core all together. Evidently that one person was me. She grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me with so much force that I thought I was just going to splatter on the wall of the sub; but then things got all fuzzy and I went right through the steel walls and started rocketing through the water. I saw a huge bright flash, which I thought meant I was dead; but then a few seconds later I popped out on the surface and the first thing I saw when I came to was you. At first I thought you were God or something”. This is when I smirk and say: “Ha, yeah. I get that a lot”.

8 comments:

Josh the Commish said...

Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Victorious!!

Murdeflies: All Dead.

Kennelz: Only Navy SEAL #47 survived.

R.I.P. Calypso.

Kennel'z Owner said...

Perhaps if this match wasn't written in the middle of the night, Phoenix Force Namor, who was on my submitted roster, would have played a part, and perhaps saved Calypso....Does he accrue a death, I don't see him listed as playing either....but hey a win's a win right??

Ryan said...

Yeah that's a pretty major character to be forgotten about.

Josh the Commish said...

I apologize Matt. This of course had nothing to do with why I left him off of your squad. It is not like I looked at your team for the first time in the middle of the night. I recorded it in my notebook 5 minutes after you sent it to me and I looked at it all week long in preperation for the match; like I always do, whether I write them in the middle of the night or not. Of course he will not gain a death for this, and it is of course my mistake and I again apologize, it wan't my first and won't be my last. Why you are so certain that Calypso would still be alive I am not sure. Mike put up a very good water team, and I am not excatly known for having 9 death characters live in my matches.

Congrats on the win you achieved despite this and again, I'm sorry for my mistake. Not quite sure why you needed to be a dick about it, but I'm sorry regardless.

Kennel'z Owner said...

I didn't think I was being a dick, just merely calling to attention what you said yourself in the very first sentence of the match, that you yourself admitted to this being a last minute match. I then expressed my honest opinion on it, that if it weren't written or posted last minute, and Namor with his Phoenix powers was included, that PERHAPS Calypso makes it. Again just my opinion, I've learned you can't assume anything in this league. I'm very happy I won, and knew the risk of playing calypso, I just would have liked the FULL team I submitted played.

Josh the Commish said...

Read the other matches this week, and then name me one that includes the FULL team submitted. You might actually find one or two; but it won't be more than that. Sorry that my three kids, my job, grad school, and podcasts take up some of my time throughout the week as well. I do a lot of that stuff in the middle of the night and I always have (try looking at my time stamps over the last 6 years). My matches are NEVER late; and as for the one's that are right on time, it doesn't mean that I don't put all my effort in to them.

Third Class Former Champ said...

Dude, I thought this was a forum where we could be honest. NO ONE had they're full team written and that makes it alright. You fought to keep this league alive, and its only week three, the points haven't even gotten out of hand yet. You said that you looked at the rosters multiple times during the week, and when I saw you writing, I was excited cuz i expected level of detail and attention that team needed, especially with your knowledge and appreciation of the Phoenix force. I have to thank you though, because if no one is getting their full team written, I won't use much time in my busy life putting a full team together. And all this is coming from one of your undefeated teams, if I'm frustrated, how do you think others feel....but I've ranted enuff already, now ill just actually be a DICK and go back to being a third class league member, and polish off mu championship trophy ;)

Josh the Commish said...

I didn't criticize you for being honest, I was just being honest back. I can appreciate honesty, and a person who sticks up for themselves. It was all I was trying to do. I really am sorry if this match was disappointing to you or anybody else. To be perfectly honest, I don't think water matches have ever been my strong suit, but I still do my best. As for forgetting a character, I screwed up, and all I can do is apologize. I don't want anybody to stop doing what they do to enjoy the league. But when somebody calls me out about something, it's not in my nature to back down. That is simply honest people being honest.