Welcome everyone to the beautiful University of Phoenix stadium , here in Glendale, Arizona as we welcome you to the opening of Fantasy Fantasy League season six with our first ever football game, where we'll see the formidable FFL juggernaut known as TEAM go head to head against the current "Kings of the Consolation" the newly re-christened The Royal Highness. I'm Gus Johnson here for ESPN 9- Neuve sports.For a closer look at today's match up let's take it down to our field reporter, Amy Fadool. Amy!
"Thanks Gus, we've got quite the line ups for today's inaugural football contest. Both teams putting up quite the impressive lists of talent.
For the Royal Highness, head coach The
Grandmaster, will be commanding a team comprised of Gladiator from the Imperial Guard, Miracleman, Hollywood
Hulk Hogan, Dr Otto Octavious commonly known as Dr Octopus, squad of Hannibal, B.A., Faceman,
and Howlin Mad Murdoch-also know as The "A-Team", Ninja Gaiden, Nova, and Vampire Kang the Conqueror. Now, we've head reports that Octavious is not to pleased to be participating in a "low brow contest that any biped with working appendages could participate in" and feels his talents could be put to better use "opening a can, or painting a living room or various other menial tasks" Still, you can't argue that Ock's extra appendages could come in pretty handy intercepting passes or making some beautiful throws.
On the other side of the coin, we've got the always formidable TEAM. It's no secret that after last year's less than stellar performance, TEAM is looking to make an impact this year and they certainly did that with this year's off list pic an alternate reality, communist version of the "Man of Steel" they call "Red Son" Superman. We'll get a chance to witness him in action today alongside Black Lanterns Darth Vader and Pete Sosa, Sephiroth, Mega Man X, Proto Man, Elecman, Flash Man, Kefka, Mr. Awesome and Joe Levine. Calling the plays for TEAM will be that man that's as smooth as a Colt .45 head coach Lando Calrissian.
Both teams putting up some heavy hitters, I can't wait to see this game! Back to you, Gus."
Ok, Amy! Great work. Well, it looks like we're ready for kickoff. The Royal Highness has won the coin toss, and have elected to receive. Sosa puts up a beautiful kick and we're off! It's caught by Miracleman who's racing down the field an BOOM! Holy hell, what a hit by Red Son Superman on Miracleman! He's getting up and, we've already got a flag on the play! I'm pretty sure I know what this is for, but let's got to the ref for the call."
"Unnecessary roughness. "Red Son" Superman. 15 yard penalty. 1st down"
"Good call on that one, as it looks like the Red Son is putting the 'Suh' in Superman with what looked liek a nasty kick to the ribs of Miracleman as Supes was getting up.
Ooooh. It's looking ugly. Superman is in the refs face and is very animatedly disputing the call. The ref isn't backing down, telling the Russian 'rules are rules' and WHAT THE HELL!!! Red Son Superman has let loose a vicious burst of heat vision towards the dome of the stadium and the rubble has collapsed all over the Royal Highness! The arena has exploded into pandemonium! Kang is screaming in pain as the sunlight is frying his vampire skin. Hulk Hogan's arm is bent in a hideous angle. I don't see any death, but there's definitely a ton of injuries for the Royal Highness."
"What's this? Red Son Superman is talking to a very agitated Lando, and..Lando is smiling? He's gone over to the refs. They're having a conference. The refs don't look to pleased...."
"Ladies and gentlemen! It has been pointed out to us by Mr Calrissian that this game is to have 'exactly 11 characters-no more, no less' and due to the fact that Kal-L technically didn't lay a hand on the Royal Highness we have no choice but to award TEAM the customary 2-0 score and award the game to TEAM due to a forfeiture on behalf of The Royal Higness"
"The crowd does not like this news, not one bit. There's the smug face of Kal-L, it looks like he's mouthing something...yeah. He's saying 'Rules are rules' as he passes by the injured roster of the Royal Highness. Hopefully we can get a word with this controversial player, but for now from Glendale, I'm Gus Johnson where TEAM goes over The Royal Highness with a score of 2-0! Thanks for watching ESPN 9-Neuve Sports!"
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12 comments:
TEAM- 2
The Royal Highness- 0
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!!!!
"Hello, everyone. I'm ESPN 9 correspondent nude Teri Hatcher, and I'm attempting to get a word with...yes, there he is! Superman! Over here! Kal-L, how do you explain your despicable, yet game winning actions today?"
"Feh. Is boolsheet. Unnecessary roughness. In mother Russia, is no baby rule such as dat. Is men playing game. Men get hurt, men suck up pain. Men play on. American game is weak, like American men. Too many rules. So, Kal-L use pansy American rules to his adwantage. TEAM has new Superman now. Better, stronger, faster, smarter. Now TEAM be like they Superman. No longer weak, crybaby, traitorous American Superman dat used be on TEAM. Old Superman, I vill find yoo later. And I. WILL. BREAK. YOU.
Leetle brown laser comes back to mother TEAM dis year. Universe Bowl comes back to TEAM dis year.
Now go cover up saggy egg tits woman. Interview is over.'
KKKKKSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Bahahahahaha. Wonderful job Krisatu.
And to you Red Son Superman.... Dumbass. TEAM still has the Little Brown Laser.
But don't forget to bring it with you when TEAM squares off against the Horsemen in the Universe Bowl.
Nothing quite like the feeling of going to The FFL Blog and seeing that a new match has been posted!!
Tough Break Your Highness, good luck on the rest of your season Ed. I foresee you bringing back the fear and respect that went along with the word TEAM.
Let's not start blowing TEAM quite yet.
They won Week One last year too.
(I'm just happy a match got posted before LATE Sunday night.)
you guys should really stop playing for the littel brown laser already. The real one was traded for half an ounce of weed and a snow globe about 30 seconds after it was atached to griffin's stump. Your just playing for an empty pabst bottle with a brown paper bag taped to it.
We're fully aware of that.
You'd be amazed at what you can get some Amazons or Valkyres to do with an empty Pabst bottle.
Nice match and a great start of the season.
It is great to have it underway!! Look forward to my matches sometime late Sunday.
Teri Hatcher does have some droopy titties. Not as bad as Saggy Gyllenhaal though.
Good one Seeney. Who doesn't love a good stadium collapse? (except the people of Seattle maybe.)
-Z
I love having to wait to find out which character got kicked in the head and had his neck broken.
Bah, tis a filthy game for serfs. You should be honored that I even submitted a line-up for this "sport". Call me if you ever decide to have a polo match, though I believe it is beyond your breeding. Commoner translation: Good stuff. that epilogue cracked me up.
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