Season 7, Week 4 Match: Midget's Space Attack Real Man Kill Squad vs. Real Man's Rabblerousers

“Can you hear me, Major Tom?”

            -David Bowie [Space Oddity]

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 7, Week 4 Match located Beyond the Outer Rim.  They are as follows:

Midget’s Space Attack Real Man Kill Squad: Eradicator, Zombie Supergirl, White Lantern Hal Jordan (with red lantern ring, Alan Scott's magical green lantern ring, and Guy Gardner's yellow lantern ring), Tri-Eye, Queen Aga' Po, Blue Lantern #1, Beppo the Super Monkey, The Phoenix Force Entity, Black Lantern Phoenix (Rachel Summers), Space Usagi Yojimbo, Jotaro, Mangy Mouse (with Indigo Lantern Ring), Sky Lynx, Captain Power and R-2 Unit #3 in an A-Wing, Oppo Rancisis and R-2 Unit #4 in an A-Wing, Darth Talon and R-4 Unit #1 in an A-Wing, Bowser:  King of Koopa (with Larfleeze's Orange Lantern Ring), Power Dump, Zufa Cenva, Star Wolf in a B-Wing, Air Zimmell, Pre Viszla, Black Lantern Chris Seney, Black Lantern Ryan Poteracki and Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki.

Real Man’s Rabblerousers: Vampire Galactus, Black Lantern Ms. Marvel, Black Lantern Darth Rave, Kryptonian Soldiers #11-16, Slugslinger and Caliburst, Beast Wars: Optimal Primal, Rhinox, Cheetor, Rattrap, Dinobot, Tigatron, Airazor, Silverbolt, Savage/Noble, Nightscream, Depth Charge, Scuba, Big Horn, Big Convoy, Blackarachnia and Benjy the dog.

Midget’s locker room. . .

Black Lantern Chris Seney (lifting his tattered costume’s sleeve):  Sssseeee the new etchingssssss on my dessicated corpsssssse?

Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki: I did’t know onessss could do that to onessssss dead ssskin.

Black Lantern Ryan Poteracki: That’ssssss nothing.  Look at my new tat. 

BLRP begins to pull his  pants down.

BLCS and BLSP (in unison): Whoa!!!  Whoa!!!! Whoa!!!

Rabblerousers locker room. . .

Benjy: Bark.  Bark.  Roof.  [Translation:  Teammates, I know that I am only a canine who probably does not belong in this match.  Nonetheless, I trust that the owner does not make these decisions without much thought and thus, I am honored to enter into battle with you all!]

A SPACESHIP SOARS INTO THE AREA AND BELCHES A SIREN, SIGNALING THE TEAMS TO ENTER INTO THE STAR ENCRUSTED SPACE BEYOND THE OUTER RIM.

Let the match begin. . .

Coordinate 1.756.372 . . .

Black Lantern Darth Rave soars through space, utilizing his ring to encase Benjy, keeping the canine safe from the severe vacuum.  Rave is suddenly surrounded by Black Lanterns Chris Seney, Ryan Poteracki and Shaun Poteracki.

BL Seney:  We’ll get you, my ugly!

BL Ryan Poteracki:. . . and your little dog too!

BL Rave immediately takes the initiative and ignites his lightsaber.  He propels himself toward BL Shaun Poteracki.  Before BLSP can react in his own defense, Rave skewers BLSP. 

BLCS:  Oh my G-d, he killed Shaun!

BLRP: You bastard!!!

Both Seney and the remaining Poteracki use their rings to destroy the force shielding which surrounds Benjy.  A loud pop is heard as the bubble around the dog is heard followed by a wet sloshing sound as Benjy explodes.

BL Rave is infuriated at the death of his canine comrade and rushes at the two Midget BLs.  BL Ms. Marvel sees teammate BL Rave racing toward the enemy and joins her ally.  It is only a matter of minutes before BL Rave and BL Marvel dispatch with the two faux BLs of the Midgets. 

Coordinate 3.529.835. . .

Captain Power and R-2 Unit #3 in an A-Wing, Oppo Rancisis and R-2 Unit #4 in an A-Wing, Darth Talon and R-4 Unit #1 in an A-Wing as well as Star Wolf in a B-Wing, combine forces and focus on Slugslinger and Caliburst.  The air defense robot tracks Captain Power and his A-Wing down.  After well precision laser fire strikes the A-Wing, both the ship and its driver, Power, along with his R2 unit, are destroyed.  The Decepticons then shift gears to tail Star Wolf, who manages to use his abilities to outflank the Decepticons.  Oppo Rancisis and Darth Talon take advantage of the Sky Fox moves and set upon the Transformers.  Eventually the target masters manage to kill Star Wolf.  The lupine falls in battle, but causes enough of a distraction that both Oppo Rancisis and Talon take advantage and combine both their weaponry and flying skills to destroy Slugslinger and Caliburst. 

Coordinate 2.274.211. . .

Black Lantern Phoenix Rachel Summers sees the immense Vampire Galactus.

VG:  You are but an ant to be squashed before my boot.

BLPRS:  My power is not to be trifled with blood sucker!

The Phoenix Force surges through the deadened Summers. 

BLPRS:  . . . and now for my sponsor. . .

The Phoenix Force entity screams to the scene and combines with Phoenix Summers.  The newly enhanced combatant unleashes its cosmic powers at Galactus, who becomes weakened.  Galactus and the Phoenix entity then duel to a near standstill.  Eventually the cosmic entities nullify one another, leaving both devastated. 

VG: Enough!!!

BLPRS: Agreed!!!

A large explosion erupts, ending with both the bodies of Summers and Galactus float toward a distant star, ready to be engulfed by the fiery heat.  As the Summers body closes in on the star, the Phoenix Force Entity careens away and flies toward the remaining battle.  BLPRS and Galactus die in a cosmic inferno.

Coordinate 0.27.1426. . .

Eradicator, Zombie Supergirl, White Lantern Hal Jordan, Tri-Eye, Queen Aga' Po, Blue Lantern #1 and Beppo the Super Monkey battle Kryptonian Soldiers #11-16 and a newly arrived BL Ms. Marvel and BL Darth Rave.  WL Jordan uses all of his rings at various times and with varying intensities to barrage BL Ms. Marvel.  The black lantern is ripped apart and dissipates before the White Lantern.  Tri-Eye, Queen Aga’Po and Blue Lantern #1 combine their powers to battle BL Darth Rave.  BLDR uses both his black lantern powers and lightsaber to rip out the heart of Queen Aga’Po and lop the head off of Blue Lantern #1.  It is only a matter of time though before Tri-Eye is joined by Zombie Supergirl, who together, destroy BLDR. 

Coordinate 0.397.443. . .

Realistically, the Beast Wars transformers were not created for space battle, but since they are Transformers, the robots hold their own against the enemy.   Each floats in their own area and focuses on the individual Midgets in order to destroy them systematically.  Cheetor reaches Space Usagi Yojimbo and mauls the rabbit.  Tigatron  and Airazor rip Jotaro apart.  Mangy Mouse uses his Indigo Lantern Ring to create a force field which buttresses the crushing blow of Rhinox, but staggers due to the blow, and partially defenseless, is killed by Savage/Noble and Rattrap.  Sky Lynx decides to battle Optimus Primal, but the Beast Wars’ leader, with the assistance of Blackarachnia, destroys the Midget hybrid. Bowser:  King of Koopa uses Larfleeze's Orange Lantern Ring to miraculously destroy Depth Charge, but Scuba and Nightscream kill Bowser.  Power Dump, Zufa Cenva, Air Zimmell and Pre Vizsla join forces to fight Dinobot, Silverbolt, Big Horn and Big Convoy.  Although the four Midgets manage to destroy Big Horn, they succumb to the superior forces of the other three Transformers.   

Coordinate 0.27.1426. . .

Eradicator, Zombie Supergirl, White Lantern Hal Jordan, Tri-Eye and Beppo the Super Monkey battle the Kryptonians.   WL Jordan manages to destroy Kryptonian Soldier #12.  Tri-Eye and Beppo both fall to Soldiers #11 and 15.  Eradicator responds, in kind, and destroys Kryptonian Soldiers #13 and 14.  Zombie Supergirl destroys Solider #11, but is killed by remaining Soldiers #15 and 16.  Eradicator and WL Jordan sense their teammate and turn their faces as the Phoenix Force Entity rips remaining Kryptonian Soldiers #15 and 16 apart.

Coordinate 0.397.446. . .

Optimal Primal, Rhinox, Cheetor, Rattrap, Dinobot, Tigatron, Airazor, Silverbolt, Savage/Noble, Nightscream, Scuba, Big Convoy and Blackarachnia scoff as two A-Wings fly into their midst.  The amount of robots in the area cause the vehicles to enact serious countermeasures, thus, rocking the two pilots  back and forth.

Oppo Rancisis:  I can’t hold it.

Talon:  Stay on target.

Rancisis:  Can’t do it.

Talon: Stay on target.

Rancisis:  It’s certain death.

Talon: Stay on target you pu$$y!!!

Rancisis:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Rancisis is destroyed as Primal, Cheetor, Dinobot and Tigatron batter the A-Wing.  The remaining Transformers destroy Talon.

Coordinate 0.397.452. . .

Eradicator, White Lantern Hal Jordan and The Phoenix Force Entity face the Rabblerouser Transformers.  WL Jordan falls to the sheer number of robots, but Eradicator and Phoenix make up for this and destroy them in on foul swoop and sheer force.