Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Spoiler Sport Week 9!

Hello everyone, Cotton McKnight here. Welcome to Spoiler Sport. Here on The Ocho! In Week 9, The FFL action took us to The Emperor's Throne Room aboard The Death Star. This final week would decide the fates of many teams, some with shocking consequences!

We start in The Lee conference, where The Murderflies' Zombie Darth Maul's reign of terror was ended by Teneb Kel. Kel's victory is short lived, as The Mandarin rings up another kill. Finally, the killing machine known as Doomsday finishes the job for The Nut-Busters by ripping The Mandarin limb from limb!

Byran Beckerman's patience was tested in The Kitties/Highness match, as the very existence of the Death Star hung in the balance. Vampire Jean Grey beats White Lantern Spirit of yoda to secure Beck's property, along win the win for The Royal Highness. Nontheless, Layanderett's Super Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family march into the Play-offs!

Mitchy's Luminous Tentacle Warriors continue their fall from grace, and TEAM is more than happy to take the win! Doped up French Vampires #91-93 are no match for Luuke Skywalker, Trioculous, and Force Adept #5.

Team Sleeping Pussy's Korvac and Jonah Hex make an explosive entrance on Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions, but an unimpressed Aku takes out Hex. Care Becks' censored actions, along with Aku, and Kister, manage to distract Korvac enough for Pre-Suit Vader to land the killing blow!

Over in the Lucas Division, B-3's Darth Vader stood alone after Triple H and REAL MAN fell. He quickly cut down Pre Visla, and threw Magneto down the dreaded pit! The Master of Magnetism proved he was far from done, by levitating up and using the abundant metal in the throne room to skewer Lord Vader, thus securing The Midget's win!

Maybe I'm seeing things, but I think The Rabblerousers killed each other, but only Loki knows for sure. The Slaves can only hope that their momentum carries them far into the post-season!

The Horsemen of Apokolips' Harley Quinn and CSI Miami's amputated Horatio Caine overcome The Grindhouse's final Warwolf #1, surviving the match despite C.M. Punking out! Well Horsemen, when it comes to your repeated division titles, I guess you could say I should give you... a hand.

The Commandos' Dora had her loyalties tested by The Empire's Vladimir Putin, but sided with Barack Obama in the end. Earth-2 Superman bested Scarlet Witch and Black Zero for the victory, but with the loss of The President and figurehead Obama, have The Commandos sacrificed too much, or is it all part of the plan?

Unfortunately, Pepper Brooks remains hospitalized and cannot deliver his trademark Resurrection Points report. Hang in there kid!!!

Join us next week, as The FFL heads to the first round of The Play-Offs in the shadows of the always deadly Play-Off Planet! We also return to the always amusing Consolation Round matches, located at the barrel stage of Donkey Kong. Coming up on The Ocho, we head to lovely Central Asia to witness the sport of Buzkashi on tape delay. For The Ocho, I'm Cotton McKnight. Thank you and goodnight.

2 comments:

MVP Council said...

MVPs week 9: 1. Magneto 2. Pre-Suit Vader 3. Doomsday

Josh the Commish said...

Nice work Cotton!! Great edition. Get well soon Pepper!!