Season 8, Week 5: Griswold's Nut-Busters vs. B3

B3 is: Predator X #6-19, Predators #15-44, Green Dragons #1-2, Marines #93-100, and Storm Troopers #46-49 and #75-80.

The Nut-Busters are The Brown Slacker, The Black Slacker, The Blacker Slacker, The Colored Slacker, The Dark Slacker, The Damn Near Purple Slacker, Sentinels #1-18, Brood #6-10, Predator X #1-5, Dementor #1-5, Green Dragon #3-9, Elmo, all of Aerosmith's current members, Tick-Tock, The Gump, Jack Pumpkinhead, Billina, Wald, Starship Troopers #82-87, Skeleton #7-10.

Miles above the surface of the Play-Off Planet, the Mighty Jackin' Power Slacker hovered as the Slackers inside surveyed the planet's regions for their enemy. "We got anything yet, Emmett?" The Dark Slacker asked. "Actually, yes. The thermal scanners are picking up a huge cluster of lifeforms in the jungle. Couldn't tell you what they are, but there are definitely a lot of them." replied The Colored Slacker. "Do we engage or not?" asked The Brown Slacker. "We don't have the fuel to stay up here forever, Kevin." The Dark Slacker hesitated, then answered "No. Find us the safest place to land. And Neil, contact Squad B. We'll have them do a little reconaisance."

The Slackers monitored Squad B (comprised of Elmo, Tick-Tock, Jack Pumpkinhead, Billina, and Wald riding The Gump) by radio as they flew in to explore the jungle for whatever creatures were waiting there. "Nothing so far, not even a track. Just your average wildlife, you sure you weren't seeing that?" Pumpkinhead crackled through the radio. "Are you questioning my competence? I didn't graduate top of my class at MIT to take flak from a talking pumpkin." snapped Neil. "What? No, I'm just saying, we haven't seen a thing. Jeez, you've been pretty salty since you guys came out as geniu-" Jack cut his sentence short and could be heard asking away from the radio, "Did anybody hear that? In the trees." There was a silence, followed by the sound of a blast and a scream muffled by the radio dropping to the ground. Jack was heard fumbling with the radio before he whispered urgently into it "The poor Gump's been shot out of the sky, but the attack came from nowhere! It's as if the jungle came alive and killed him!" "Look around, Jack, we need to know what we're dealing with here" urged Kevin. "There's nothing, I'm telling y- no... no, there's something there. Almost like heat haze, I can barely... my word, what is THAT?!" A vicious roar and clashing metal were the last things The Slackers heard before communications were lost. "Jesus... that can't be good. I've got no idea what makes a roar like that." The Colored Slacker admitted. "We can't risk any more individual groups. Right now, we give them everything we've got."

The Nut-Busters gathered at the western side of the Jungle and made their way in. Quickly the Sentinels were able to track down a trace of mutant genes, which lead them to the gruesome resting place of Squad B. The source of the trace was the liquid metal skin of a Predator X, which lay dead with Jack Pumpkinhead's sword driven between its eyes. Before anyone could ask, a dripping sound came from behind and the team discovered the lost squad's bodies hanging skinned from the treetops. "Oh boy..." said a nervous Blacker Slacker. "I think I just realized what we're dealing with." Before he could finish the thought, a thunderous thumping of heavy quadrupeds boomed through the forest and in an instant a dozen or more Predator X's were upon their team. Aerosmith's reflexes weren't what they used to be, and all the band but Steven Tyler were eaten by the beasts for their cancer-ridden, mutated DNA. While The Slackers formed the MJPS as fast as they could and the commons of their team began to fight back, B3's Marines and Storm Troopers arrived under the command of a pair of Predators. While their allies began to gain the upper hand in the attrition, the Power Slacker took down one of the Predators with its giant broken 40 bottle. The other cloaked and retreated, and the Power Slacker turned back to defend their team from the Predator X's tearing in to the Nut-Busters Sentinels and Brood. After their first kill on one of the creatures, the remaining five circled the Power Slacker and as they parried the first to pounce, a second tore off the the Slacker's left leg and Neil along with it. The Mighty Jackin' Power Slacker fell apart without the solidarity of the full team, and the individual Slackers scrambled to protect themselves without their combined power. As Kevin was eviscerated, the Dementors moved in to drain the life from the last handful of Predator X's. Steven Tyler hunched over the corpse of the killed Predator and, unable to resist the allure of its glowstick-juice blood, snorted up a small handful of the fluid just to see if he liked it. He felt his eyes begin to tingle and the Yautja power to see heat came to him. "Holy S*** guys, there's like 100 of these f***ers around here! Bad trip, I'm done with this." He ran away from the team into the jungle and was immediately cut down by an unseen force and dragged away. The team looked over the trees for the unseen Predators hunting them. Marcel thought fast and shouted to his allies "Mud! Cover yourselves in mud, it's the only chance we have!" As they rushed to scoop up the wet earth and slather it on themselves, the 29 remaining Predators uncloaked and unleashed a hail of blaster fire on the Nut-Busters, leaving nothing behind but a crater of smoking detritus.