Season 9: Week 8: The Royal Highness -vs- TEAM

The Royal Highness is: Lady Q, Metron, Fantastic Four (Reed Richards with the Ultimate Nullifier, Invisible Woman, Human Torch and The Thing), Nova (Richard Rider) w/ Xandarian Worldmind, Gladiator (Shi’ar Imperial Guard) and an Alliance Medical Frigate.

TEAM: Unicron, Black Lantern Ranx the Sentient City, Mamaw, Papaw, Bama, Harry Potter, Shannon Pilkinton w/Indigo Ring, Anna Pilkinton, Lucas Pilkinton and Cock Sneak Goomba #8.

At The Royal Highness Locker Room

Reed Richards: We have the Ultimate Nullifier and Lady Q on our side; this should not be too difficult of a match.

Sue Storm: Now Reed, this is still a powerhouse team we are going against.

Johnny Storm: Powerhouse Team sis? Are we still in year four? TEAM hasn’t made it to the finals since, what, year one?

Sue Storm: Or last year.

Johnny Storm: Still, they couldn’t even win a non-fight. What kind of a team loses a non-fight? Oh that’s right, TEAM does. Stupid name too.

Lady Q: Not too lay victim to your rather stupid yet humorous musings here but is your name not the Human Torch?

Johnny Storm: Yeah, what’s it to you ma Lady?

Lady Q: That was all, it was rhetorical.

Nova: Silence everyone. Taking no one lightly, that is the rule. We fight to the death. That is all.

Johnny Storm: Woo Hoo, can’t wait.

TEAM Locker Room

Harry Potter: Okay everyone, no time to be cute in this fight. Unicron and Ranx, kill everything you see immediately. I do not want any hiding out this time around. I want everything dead as soon as it starts.

Anna: But Mommy, I thought cute is what me and Lucas were aiming for?

Shannon: Not this time around honey. We must all be brave and cautious. I will protect you guys with my new ring but you both still need to be careful. Okay?

With serious looks on their tiny faces, they agree.

Harry Potter: Is everyone ready?

Papaw: Not quite, Mamaw is trying to get some more gravy out of the ole meat spickett.

Mamaw: The arthritis keeps me from getting it out like I used to.

Bama: Hurry up Mamaw, you need to take me to Suncoast in Oklahoma to buy me the new Rogue One poster. It’ll only take seven hours round trip.

Harry Potter: Dear god, this is what we were given. Shannon (looking right at her) I hope you are ready for this; it could be up to us on the ground level.

The Battle on Kepler 438B

Unicron and Ranx, two massive planet like structures move on opposite sides of the planet. Both teams occupy the planet surface and just outside the planets earth like (theoretical) atmosphere. That is until Unicron and Ranx both sent devastating energy blasts towards The Alliance Medical Ship which had Shi’ar Gladiator on it and Nova, killing them both immediately.

Lady Q: So Johnny, should we still take them lightly?

Johnny Storm: Kiss off ma Lady. FLAME ON!!!!

Lady Q: And you refer to me as a lady.

The Human Torch flies over to where Mamaw, Papaw and Bama are standing, naturally doing nothing of substance. The Human Torch blazes through each and every one of them, torching them alive.

Harry Potter: Incendio!

Harry Potter casts his spell and hits the human torch, sending him flying out in the distance.

Johnny Storm: A fire spell on me Harry? Of all the spells you have, that is the one you used.

Harry Potter: Try flaming down you git.

Johnny Storm immediately realizing that he no longer has control over his power, starts to fly around in an attempt to put out the fire. After a few minutes he is over come by pain and eventually falls to the ground, dead. His body turns to ash moments later.

Sue Storm: Not my brother you British piece of shit.

Harry instead of defending himself against Sue’s incoming attack, decides to send a spell at Reed Richard’s Ultimate Nullifier he was getting ready to use.

Harry Potter: (Pointing his wand directly at the object in Mr. Fantastic’s hand) Geminio!

The spell duplicates the Ultimate Nullifier, sending an exact copy of the weapon to the ground. As soon as it hits the ground, two more exact replicas appear as well and so on. Harry then sends one more spell Reed’s way.

Harry Potter: Stupefy!

Reed gets blasted back by the simple wizard attack spell, making him drop the important weapon. Reed looks down at the ground and instead of picking up the Ultimate Nullifier like he normally would, he stares down at the ground and wonders which one of the dozens of weapons it might be.

Harry Potter: Only one of them is functional Reed, good luck with that.

Shannon then puts a protective shield around the boy wizard just in time for Sue Storm to rush over to him along with the Thing. Their attacks on the shield send them both back with little injury.

The Thing continues to pound on the shield to little affect.

Harry: Thanks Shannon. I cannot cast anymore spells though as long as I am in this thing so it may be up to you to finish this off.

Shannon: Don’t worry Harry, I can handle this team.

Above the Planet’s Surface

Unicron: Blow up the planet we must. The battle will be over immediately.

Ranx: I agree, let’s end this.

Both Unicron and Ranx use their collective powers to send energy blasts into the planets core. After several minutes, the already volatile planet began to break apart, sending pieces out into the space surrounding the two massive space born creatures.

Unicron: Job well done my friend.

Ranx: Agreed.

Suddenly, in a blink, the planet reappears in front of the two TEAM members, fully entact, as if nothing had happened in the first place.

Unicron: I do not understand.

Lady Q: Nor will you ever. It is not important that you understand either, that was not the rationale behind your creation. You were made to control and destroy, that goes for the both of you.

Since Lady Q was just a voice in their collective heads, there was nothing for them to attack. Instead, both Unicron and Ranx sent another blast down towards Kepler 438B, blowing it up once more. After another minute, the planet reforms in front of their eyes, frustrating both super powers to no end.

Lady Q: We can do this all day long if you would like, I have all the, what is it called, oh yes, Time in the world.

Being the super powered beings that they were, both Unicron and Ranx once again fired up their weapons only this time, to have them shut down by the Star Trek God.

Lady Q: No more, okay. We are going to leave the battle on the ground to the mortals and to ease your mind; your team comes out on top. Mrs. Pilkinton is a natural with that ring. She and the boy wizard were able to take out the Fantastic Four, an impressive feat for sure. Metron then destroyed the ring holder, only to have his arrogant god-like powers nullified by Harry Potter’s use of the actual Ultimate Nullifier. It is still up for discussion on whether or not he knew if he was actually using the true weapon, but I suspect somebody of his advanced skill level was able to figure it out.

Unicron: Enough talking Ranx, it us up for us to end this.

Lady Q: Again, that is not how this will go. My goodness, talking to creatures who think of themselves as gods is the same as talking to children. Kind of like those wonderfully adorable children who just lost their mother on the planet surface. You know who they are, they are the ones that you have murdered twice already today without a seconds thought.

Ranx: We play for victory, that is all.

Lady Q: As you have stated. Oh look at the time gents, I must be getting impatient in my old age. This is how this will end. The children and the boy wizard will be sent home to their locker room unharmed, along with that adorable Goomba creature. Boy I just loved that little guy.

Ranx: We do not retreat on this team.

Unicron: We will not stand for your passive aggressive handling of this battle. If a battle is what you seek, engage us in one.

Lady Q: Once more, you lack the understanding I wish to convey. I not intend to have a battle because it is unnecessary. So like I said, your planet bound friends are already at home, safe and sound. For the two of you though, that is a different story. I would never let two proud creatures as you are, be considered cowards.

Unicron and Ranx both feel their powers return, only to have them come to the realization that they do not have control over them. Both them begin to fire on one another, sending friendly fire attacks continually until it begins to weaken them to the point of death.

Lady Q: So like I said, I would never let two creatures as proud as you become cowards. Fools on the other hand, well, that is a concept that will never stop bringing me joy.

After several minutes of constant firing, both Unicron and Ranx were destroyed beyond recognition, leaving only the disembodied voice of Lady Q left.

Lady Q: I suppose that is it. Talking to myself, though something I have become accustomed to is not something I gain much enjoyment from. Alas, it is what I will eventually be left with.

As the Planet of Kepler 438B lays dormant once more with life, the falling bodies of Ranx and Unicron begin to fall into the planets orbit. In a mere hundred years, both deceased planetary bodies will become Kepler’s newly added Satellite’s. Showing that even in death, a new possibility of life is still in the cards.