TEAM Vs. The Striders of Rohan

 TEAM is Nekron, Black Lantern Wolverine, Black Lantern Non, Neo, Earthworm Jim, & Bob the Tear Off Guy (w/ Tear Off Tool, Partially broken radio, & Bob Dylan Cassette).

The Striders of Rohan are Treebeard, Zombie Treebeard, Arwen Evenstar (w/ a Blue Lantern Ring), The Two Blue Wizards, Radaghast the Brown, Bilbo Baggins, & Rider of Rohan #8.  

"I DON'T WANNA WORK, I WANNA BANG ON THE DRUM ALL DAY......  I DON'T WANNA WORK I WANNA BANG ON THE DRUM ALL DAY"!!  "HERE COME THE STORY OF HURRICANE, MLEH, BLAH, BLAH, MEH TIME TO BLAME".  KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKIN ON HEAVEN'S DOOOOOOR YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH".  COME ON SING IT NEO.  SING IT EARTHWORM.  YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH.  WE GOT THIS GUYS WE GOT THIS.  LET'S DO THIS FIGHT, THERE'S NO MONEY IN THIS MATCH.  YOU HEAR ME BIG NON, THERE AIN'T NO MONEY IN THIS MATCH.  WE GOTTA GO GOTTA GO.  LET'S DO THIS.  HURRY UP.  WE GOTTA FINISH THIS,  DYNASTY STARTS IN TWO HOURS.  I'M NOT MISSIN IT AGAIN.  GOTTA GET HOME.  I NEED TO WATCH MY NEPHEW IN THREE HOURS.  I JUST TOOK A DUMP IN A SHINGLE WRAPPER BEHIND THAT TREE.  I'M READY TO GO.  GO GO GO GO.   ALL ALONG THE WATCH TOWERRRRRRRRR.  THERE MUST BE SOME KIND OF WAY OUT OF THIS, SAID THE ROOFER TO THE THIEF.  HAHA HA.  SO MUCH CONFUSION, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH RELIEF".  

"HA-HAAAAAA".

Says Bob the Tear Off Guy significantly faster and louder than you can possibly read it.  

Black Lantern Wolverine speaks up:  "I can't take this s^&*T anymore Nekron.  Let me frag em so we can get on with this fight".

Neo answers before Nekron can with:  "Nobody is fragging anybody, just keep your eyes peeled for The Striders of Rohan.  They thrive here amongst the trees".  

"That's my point Bub.  This guy gives away our position with his singing or whatever the Hell that was.  Not to mention he smells like burnt armadillo feces".  

This gives way to an unwanted conversation between Bob and Wolverine:

"DIDJOO SAY BOB, WOLVIE"?!!?

"No, I said Bub".

"HA-HAAAAAA.  THAT REMINDS ME OF THAT TIME I GOT CALLED BUB ON THE JOB IN MONROE.  U SHOULDA BEEN THERE LOGAN.  SHOULDA BEEN THERE.  90 SQUARE OFF AND ON, ONE DAY.  30 SQUARE 3 TIMES.  JUST ME, MY COUSIN, ZIPPY, & 5 GUATAMALANS.  SHOULDA BEEN THERE".  

"THERE WE WAS GUYS SHINGLING RIGHT NEXT TO"....

But Bob is cut-off mid sentence.  And very literally cut off; as the Eighth Rider of Rohan seemingly came out of nowhere to relieve the Tear Off Crew Leader of his head.  

The TEAMmates look around to see that The Striders have peered through the trees and that they have them completely surrounded.  Their unofficial leader Arwen speaks up softly and says:  "Your tear off friend speaks so loudly that we could have shot him in the dark".  

The Striders know that they have the clear advantage in this setting but also recognize that the TEAM they are facing is in no way short on raw power.  Arwen and Treebeard have slowly and painstakingly formulated a plan of attack and they move swiftly but with caution as well.  

Radaghast leads the two Blue Wizards into the fray where they are easily able to over come the Kryptonian side of Non with their magic and the black lantern element with their mastery of two different color spectrums.  Non's brute strength may be hard to overcome, but his lack of intellect becomes too large of a weakness.  Non lets out a massive, anger fueled blast of Heat Vision that takes out the Second Blue Wizard with a blast to the neck before he succumbs to the magical might of the Valor chosen magic wielders of the Second Age.  

Zombie Treebeard in actuality, is not really much of a Zombie.  Sure, some of his bark is crumbling and his leaves showing signs of whither; but there is far more life than death within the oldest living being of Middle Earth.  Nekron attacks the massive Ent with a vengeance, in an attempt to overload the....  I almost called him a tree; but I know better...  But even with Nekron's extreme power in the realm of destroying the living he is met with resistance.  Nekron goes translucent and phases himself to fully enters the body of (Zombie) Treebeard, causing the rush of life and rush of death to nullify both parties.  Regular Treebeard feels a twinge of extra life enter him once his counterpart can no longer use the power essence.  

Black Lantern Wolverine rushes in towards Arwen and the Rohan Rider, never once thinking that he was out of his league by attacking two combatants at once.  After all, he is the best at what he does.  He quickly dispatches the Rohirim Member and moves towards Arwen next.  She is able to parry his opening attacks, displaying a mastery of Elvish bladework, and is also greatly helped by her protective blue lantern aura.  This duel continues while a pitched battle between Neo and Treebeard begins as well, with Neo surprised that his martial arts offensive blitz was not immediately successful.  

As these intense battles rage on, Bilbo and Earthworm Jim get to talking and decide that all this violence is tiresome.  Bilbo brings out some snacks and offers to share some of his freshly harvested leaf from The Shire.  They begin sharing a pipe and discuss adventures from the past amidst smiles and laughter.

They break in to a jolly Hobbit song that will be passed down for many ages:  

"Well we seen the death and we seen the fights, 

we felt the prickly bushes of thorn, 

and we saw the bodies piled up,

 sadly at Fangorn".

We seen the mighty wizard's staffs

And the swords held quite firm

But I never quite had such laughs..............

TILL I GOT HIGH WITH THIS WORM".

Both Arwen and Treebeard are holding off their assailants well; but seem to be on the receiving end more than the delivering in their battles, until some remaining Striders come to their rescue in an attempt to tip the scales.  Neo diverts his attention from Treebeard to send a Kung Fu Kick directly through the chest of the remaining Blue Wizard; but Radaghast sends a flurry of magic aided birds and squirrels into Neo; stunning him long enough for the massive Ent to grab the Chosen One and rip him in two.  Wolverine, more ruthless than ever in his Black Lantern form lays waste to every animal in his path before shoving his claws up under the chin of Radaghast.  This kills the wizard but releases his brown energy into the air which melds with Arwen's blue energy creating a death chance for Logan which is taken advantage of by a sharp stick appendage through his eye by Treebeard and a chest thrust from Hadafang in the hands of Arwen.

Bilbo tells a small harmless fib to his fellow Striders about the destruction of Earthworm Jim while the friendly Halfling allows the worm to burrow back into the dirt and head safely back to TEAM's Home Base.