S13 Week 7: Dinomites vs TEAM

 

Dinomites are: Robin Hood, Little John, Dr Strange, Wong, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Link w/ Master Sword, Hylian Shield, and Green Lantern Ring Avatar Kyoshi, Dark Dragon (45) The Shining Force: (55) Max ( The Leader of the Shining Force) w/ The Chaos Breaker, White Ring, Indigo Lantern Ring, and Green Lantern Ring Lowe w/ Holy Staff Mae w/ Halberd Ken w/ Chrome Lance Luke w/ Atlas Axe Hans w/ Elvin Arrow Tao w/ Demon Rod Gong w/ Power Ring Gort w/ Heat Axe Khris w/ Guardian Staff Anri 2/ Power Staff Arthur w/ Steel Lance Balbaroy w/ Broad Sword Amon w/ Sword of Darkness Diane w/ Angel Wing Zylo w/ Shower of Cure Pelle w/ Valkyrie Vankar w/ Power Spear Kokichi w/ Wooden Lance Guntz w/ Jogurt Ring Jogurt w/ Black Ring Domingo w/ Devil Lance Earnest w/ Power Staff Alef w/ Healing Seed Torasu w/ Buster Shot Lyle w/ Speed Ring Bleu w/ Evil Ring Adam w/ Doom Blade Hanzou w/ Katana Musashi Boken

 

TEAM is: Optimus Prime (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership), Roller, Hot Rod, General Grevious, Magnaguard Droid #1-2, Bill Rizer, Lance Beam, Ms. Marvel, Trygon, The Mighty Morphin Artrip Rangers: (Red Ranger Chris Artrip, Pink Ranger Julie Artrip (With Weapons and Artifact Zord Callers), Yellow Ranger Ella Artrip, Blue Ranger Jack Artrip, Black Ranger Ben Artrip), Josh & Kids Lantern Crew, Mike Geney: Jedi Knight, Post Porch Zombie Al Dogg, Mandolorian Clan Leader Adam Hernandez, Mandolorian Kate Hernandez, Mandolorian Child Jackson Hernandez, Madolorian Eric Gilson, Autobot #4, Magic School Bus

 

Happy Thursday everyone! It’s time for your always on time super late Artifact matchup. I’m getting paid to write this so lets crank this turd out between phone calls and meetings and see how I can make Alex mad at me this week. LET’S GOOOOOOO!!!!!

First off, the shining force is banned next year. Who wants to write 90 fucking characters? No one. So I assume they are all little and shit. They get to fighting with all the real kids on TEAM and before you know it they are all just having fun playing hide and seek in the forest and talking about Minecraft and Roblox. All the adults start to fight for real and the kids decide to board the magic school bus and fuck off to somewhere with internet. The woods are boring. Lame ass boomers.

Link does some whirl wind damage and kills Chris and Adam but the Contra boys just picked up a fire gun powerup and burn the Hyrulian Hero to a crisp. Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl pick a fight with Ms. Marvel, Julie Artrip and Kate Hernandez. They start to slip around in the mud and it goes from a fight to more giggling and wrestling. Things are starting to get hot. Even Zombie Al Dogg rises one more time. While all the guys are watching the girls wrestle an arrow from Robin Hood takes out Gilson, Josh, and the Contra guys. Little John (YEAAAHHH!! WHAT????) gets low and jabs his staff into the guts of Magnaguard #1. An epic staff duel takes place between John and Magnaguard #2 and the bandit get the upper hand and manages to finish off the pair. Then they both die from a rocket from Optimus prime that also manages to take out all the wrestling ladies.

Hot Rod and roller race in along side Optimus along with Grievous and Trygon in the final battle against Dr. Strange, Wong, Avatar Kyosi and Dark Dragon. Dark Dragon (which I am assuming is an actual dragon but I’m not googling it so if it isn’t then whatever.) flies and and burns up roller and digs its talons into Hot Rod causing it to short circuit long enough for Wong to spin a silly little circle and cut the Autobot in half. Trygon then jumps on and rips the head off the dragon. He then jumps to land on Wong but Wong is able to cast a flesh burning spell or something just as Trygon crushes him and they both die. Grievous does a spin move toward Kyoshi but Kyoshi bends the trees and earth to kill the droid. Final death Optimus Prime is putting on a clinic today and while Kyoshi’s attention is at Grievous he stomps him flat and dead while putting a perfectly placed rocket into Dr. Strange who appears to be meditating on the floor of the forest.

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Optimus looks around at the quiet landscape and wonders why the match hasn’t ended yet.

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“PRIME! I’VE COME TO BARGIN!!” are the last words he hears as he is ripped apart bolt by bolt and his entire being is scattered across the universe.