Week 7: Doctor's Madhouse vs Grayson's Goobers

Doctors Madhouse: Ursa, Ocean Master, Aqualad, The Deep, Swamp Thing, Ulmo, Kit Fisto, Avatar Wan, In a Speed Boat: Kurt Houslander w/ Power Glove and Frank “Wendeezys” Metivier w/ Endless Zyn and Variety Pack of Four Lokos, Seaworm #2A-3A (#2 is final death), Atlantean #1-8, Blood Bender #1-2, Water Bender #1-4

Grayson’s Goobers: Avatar Kyoshi, Beast Boy, King Shark, Octane, Mr. Freeze, Killer Frost, Ace Duck, Donkey Kong, Bowser Jr, Frozone, Admiral Ackbar, Swamp Bender #1-3, Meta-Knight, King Dedede, Sub Zero, Kyogre, and Stark Android #1

Today these two teams will do battle in THE greatest Lake that is Lake Michigan, a body of water that has been lucky to witness decades of Houslander vacations; including the 2 #7’s challenge, the incredibly creative and inspiring statement “I’m on vacation, I can do whatever I want”, and the infamous flat line breath taking tackle that Zach Houslander landed on yours truly in the summer of 23’... we can only hope to see some action that matches those moments in entertainment today. 

This skirmish gets started with Ocean Master and Aqualad leading the way for the madhouse, jogging in unison into the lake from grand traverse bay. Aquaman’s pupils, who’s life goals are to reach the king of the seven seas excellence, are excited to participate in a skirmish in which they won’t be overshadowed. Swamp Thing's Aura is immaculate, hovering at a medium speed alongside his team, approaching the Goober’s who are stationed smack dab in the middle of the lake. In fact, The Swamp Benders were so honored to be in the presence of Swamp Thing that they all pooped their pants and killed themselves because there was now nothing else to live for. 

The Goobers have constructed a base similar to the fortress of solitude between Mr. Freeze, Killer Frost, Frozone and Sub Zero utilizing their powers above the water as much as they possibly can. King Shark and Beast Boy, who has converted into a Great White Shark to accompany his teammate are circling the base with Avatar Kyoshi standing guard at the front gate, sending giant waves in each direction. Above the base is Meta-Knight and King Dedede, both eager to swoop down and pounce on the oncoming Madhouse members with the remaining goobers lying within the walls of the fortress. 

This is quite the scene, Im having a blast swirling around the water from a decent distance on a jet ski that I definitely didn’t pay for, awaiting the collision that is about to commence. 

The Madhouse are gaining momentum, going from jogging - to riding on one ginormous tidal wave as a collective towards the goobers created by Ulmo. The only exception being Kurt and Frank on their speedboat and Ursa racing ahead by flight.

Approaching 50 yards from the ice fortress, The Madhouse leap off of the tidal wave and jump to the offensive. 

Ursa burts towards the two flying Goobers in Meta-Knight and King Dedede and plays a deadly game of wackamole with the two Kirby characters, demolishing them both in seconds with Dedede’s giant hammer. She then does the same to the sole puny Stark Android who came to their aid way too late. 

Beast Boy locks eyes with The Deep, noticing he’s attempting to take control of his mind telepathically but is failing miserably as Beast Boy retains his human brain in his animal form. Beast Boy charges at Ulmo and takes a CHOMP from his midsection, separating his body into 3 floating lifeless pieces, kicking this match off by creating a literal blood bath. 

“NASTYYY AHH FLESH BRUH!!” Beast Boy screams out in disgust, with a trailing King Shark chuckling. 

“You’ll Get used to it” King Shark says in a sharl, doing the same fatal deed to the OG Avatar, Wan, who had no response to the speed and size of the meta human enhanced Great White Shark. 

Beast Boy then perfectly segue’s into a giant octopus and starts dotting up King Shark’s mouth with the madhouse commons eight at a time until every last Atlanteon, Blood Bender, and Water Bender is devoured. Kurt and Frank are having quite the time getting crunk on their speed until Beast Boy continues his clinic, slamming the boat down and grabbing the two with his tentacles, giving them the same fate as their common teammates. Frank had a smile on his face the entire time he was airborne and was just casually saucing zyns into beast boys octopus mouth at an extremely impressive rate, giving him the nicotine high of a lifetime. King Shark is now big time suffering and is extremely sick as he just ate fifteen bodies and swam right after (this is a big no-no). Not to mention he also appears to have 4 upper decky zyns chilling under is lip as somehow frank has turned into a zyn distributing ninja in his dying breaths. 

Kit Fisto is using the force to leap frog towards beast boy and king shark saying “Yay” with each jump. I’m honestly not sure if he’s just really excited or if he went full retard, he doesn’t typically talk much. 

Kit takes one last lunge towards King Shark using a trail of water to thrust himself at an epic speed in which he ignites his lightsaber and severs his ginormous head, killing the shark for good. Immediately, he turns towards the front gate of the base where Kyoshi is throwing everything shes got at him attempting to throw him off of his game. Bobbing and weaving up and down through the water, Kit easily dodges everything Kyoshi has to offer and sends several lightsaber slashes through her body leaving her in a pile of ash. Looking it up and down, Master Fisto sees that it is an extremely dense block of ice acting as the front gate barrier and there must be a different way to break through. 

Elegantly, he dives deep under water to check out the foundation of the goobers base seeing that it is extremely stout and expanding before his eyes outward, up and around the water. 

“This things gotta come down ASAP” Kit Fisto reports back to the Madhouse. 

“Copy that” says Ocean Master.

Donkey Kong is darting through the water with his unprecedented swimming expertise that hes displayed over the years. He’s searched every inch of this lake for a barrel with the power to bring his good buddy Diddy to the party (ayo) but has had zero luck, so this gives him even more of an urge to punch something as hard as he possibly can. 

Frozone has come out from within the fortress to help Donkey Kong hold off the madhouse a little longer so their base can continue to expand until there is no water left to solidify. 

Frozone begins to flash roads of ice waxing and waning through the air in which DK is rolling around like a bowling bowl ready to make his move. Once he gets close enough, DK catapults off of his ice slide and charges up a punch that connects with Ulmo’s right cheek, shattering his skull while he emotes in gorilla and dives perfectly back into the water to regain his upwards momentum. Flinging back above, rolling upon a perfectly placed slate of ice by frozone, DK launches towards aqualad and grabs ahold of his neck, snapping it in half and hurreling him into the distance. 

Donkey Kong has attained some unfamiliar blood lust as his family is no where to be found, he has no plumber to torture, and no barrel to craddle. He begins to shed a tear, a confused gorilla blessed with an incredible ability just needs a close friend at this moment, and all he gets is a back breaking kick from Ursa who finally puts the monkey to sleep. 

“Destroy the fortress, NOW! Yells Ocean Master

Swamp Thing confronts it, soaking up the water like a nerf ball and stretching vines with high durable girth, crushing the exterior ice shield. Ocean Master plants his trident on the tip of the fortress summoning a devastating lightning strike to come down and crumble the foundation, KILLing Killer Frost and Frozone who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and opening the door for Ursa to finish the base off with a jab of kryptonian strength. 

The Goobers who once had an extreme tactical advantage are now scattered across the lake and in close quarters with their opposition. 

Bowser Jr who has been playing his gameboy in his clowncar waiting for action within the ice walls has begun flight towards Kit Fisto alongside Kyogre. Bowser Jr. flings a flurry of bombs at the Jedi Master in which he redirects with water orbs with clutch and close timing. But the flurry doesn’t end, Bowser. Jr lays down roughly a hundred parachuted ba-bombs that Kit Fisto is struggling to keep under control, this serves as a perfect distraction for Kyorge who generates a mini whirlpool, swallowing and sending Fisto pummeling down through the lake to his death. Ursa then sent a wave of heat vision in the direction of Bowser. Jr, creating a ba-bomb fire work show that was fatal to the bowser clone. 

Seaworm #2 has laid dormant at the bottom of the lake for the majority of the match and has seem to eaten his brethren out of sure boredom and #3’s lack of awareness. It’s attention has been grabbed with the colossal explosion happening several hundred feet above as It rushes towards the surface. The spice retained from his fellow worm has enhanced his speed and stength, leading to it swallowing Octane and the huge Octopus that is Beast Boy in one spoonfull. 

The tide is shifting; Ocean Master relieved Ackbar and Kyorge of their lives with his Trident and Swamp Thing is drowning the remaining Goobers with little resistance. 

Mr. Freeze and Sub-Zero tried to reinforce their earlier ice synergy but were done with through brute strength and mass. 

With one team remaining, the water is calming and the minnows are coming out of hiding. 

“Today, I am King” Ocean Master says with a cocky smile on his face. 

Ace Duck ate bread on the beach for the entirety of the match and is now living the rest of his life annoying the people of North Shore Inn who are too stupid to stop feeding the ducks.