TEAM Vs. The Doctor's Madhouse

 TEAM is Zachary Houslander (w/ an aluminum baseball bat), ARC Trooper Zachary Houslander, Thanos, Maw, The Legion of Superheros:  Mon El, Triplicate Girl, Phantom Girl, Invisible Kid, Star Boy, & Lightning Lad, Achilles, & Kefka.

The Doctor's Madhouse is Miguel Cabrera (w/ a cyrsknife), Justin Verlander (w/ a blaster), Max Scherzer (w/ a blaster), Tarik Skubal (w/ a Maula Pistol), Kerry Carpenter (w/ a crysknife), Chris Artrip: Fremen Warrior, Kurt Houslander (w/ a Power Glove), Frank "Wendeezys" Metvier (w/ endless zyn & a Variety pack of 4 Lokos), Ursa, Invincible (Mark Grayson), Atom Eve, Dupli-Kate, Robot, Rex Splode, Allen the Alien on a Trike, Blue Toad, & Yellow Toad.

Week 8 Democracy In The Copa: The Washington Redskins Vs. David Byrne's Meat Suits

 The Washingtion Redskins are Yoda (w/ Dwarf Ring #4), Black Lantern Wolverine, Sinestro (W/ The White Lantern Ring), & Powergirl.

David Byrne's Meat Suits are Moon Knight, Trap Jaw, Emma Frost, Madeline Pryor, Brainiac 5, Prowl, Airmen #11-20, William "Refrigerator" Perry, & Charlie from The Music Shop (w/ a pump 12 gauge shotgun). 

Week 7: Pandas vs Meat Suits

Black and White Painted Dogs: Cyclops, Jean Grey, Iceman, Archangel, Beast, Aquaman, Avatar Roku, Amon, Ming-Hua, Apollo, Artemis, Wartortle, Zombie Seaworm, Mathew Perry, Captain Jimmy Wilder in a F-18

David Byrne’s Heralds: Avatar Korra, Unalaq, Desna, Eska, Jar Jar Marines (10), Boss Nass, Kosa-Yin Hadu, Captain Tarples, Gungan Soldiers #1-10, Piplup, One Punch Man, Seaworm #7, Seaworm #1A (final death), Vampire Seaworm, Black Lantern Seaworm, Slippy Toad, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Yellowjacket Hank Pym, Norman Rockwell w/ Blue Lightsaber, Lewis, Clark, Sacagawea, Homer Simpson, Marge, Lisa, Bart w/ Dark Brandon’s AR-14, Maggie, Santa’s Little Helper, Jar Jar Binks

Yes… yes… the humble vacation abode for the Houslander name venturing back a millennia. Fortunately for the Houslander members who keep their water interactions secluded to Traverse Bay, this ferocious battle will venture into the mysterious depths of the WORLD FAMOUS BUCKE-…. I mean… LAKE MICHIGAN (just a friendly reminder that Gus Johnson’s dumbass is an Ohio State Fan). And as always for settings like this, those who are not necessarily “made for water” will be given complimentary breathing apparatuses (as both teams made this decision). In this instance, the breathing apparatus is strikingly similar to the “Bubble-Head Charm” from Harry Potter used by the likes of Cedric Diggory (prayers up RIP) and Fleur Delacour during the second task of the Triwizard Tournament. Although, the durability of said air bubble cannot be guaranteed…One last measure of housekeeping involves the Captain of the Black Knights Squadron, Jimmy Wilder, whose appearance in an F-18 is impractical underwater and you might as well refer to this guy as “Goose” because he’s dead before he even hit the water.

—

With all of that settled, let’s dive deep into this top secret underwater city-scape. Now there is no tangible proof of the existence of this atlantis-like city that rests at the bottom of this beautiful lake, but my watchful eyes will have to suffice for proof of reality.

The heralds of the great David Byrne have assumed control of the city center as this team consists of many Gungans, Northern Water Tribe folk, and various water versions of Dune’s Shai-Hulud, all of whom are very comfortable in this setting. In the seaweed (yuck) outskirts of the city rests the opposing dawgs painted black and white to resemble pandas? I don’t know about you folks, but it just seems to me like a poor replication of blackface… you do you I guess. Regardless, Scar Jo’s peeps start their silent maneuver through the city’s outer rim to try and reach King Jar Jar Binks. They first encounter the Simpson family eating burgers at the Krusty Burger (don’t ask why the mysterious underwater city has a Simpsons staple restaurant, just accept this franchise’s wide audience reach) who are taken out quickly by Ming-Hua’s elite water bending abilities. While they may have thought they were efficient and silent, it is unknown to them that Quicksilver was running around as surveillance and caught the act and silently notified King Jar Jar.

As Cosby’s group continues on, it is them who are surprised and are attacked by all the Gungan soldiers. Captain Tarples is able to end Artemis with a precise spear throw, but the rest of the Gungans quickly fall to the work of Jean Grey’s abilities. King Jar Jar was still upset with how he was banished some time ago by the Gungans, this is why he sent them first on this sui-slide mission.

After the “pandas” have made it the majority of the way to the city center, they find a large open area they need to pass to reach the front door of the city center’s castle which is circled above by the many seaworms. The team makes a break for it, but are only halfway when Heralds of David Byrne begin popping up out of nowhere. In reality, it is Quicksilver who is transporting the heralds to surround the trapped “pandas”. While successful, Quicksilver uses far too much energy and has run out of oxygen in his air bubble. Now it is an all out brawl with both teams giving it everything they’ve got. Jean Grey on Scarlet Witch, Piplup on Wartortle, Avatar Roku on Avatar Korra, and so much more. The murky depths are shaken and the muddy waters are making it impossible to see who’s winning what. After many screams, cries for help, and cheers of success, the water finally begins to clear, showing the remaining alive and those who’ve fallen.

One Punch Man stands alone protecting the castle doors hiding away King Jar Jar and the final line of defense seaworms. Opposing the lone man, Aquaman leads a heartbroken Cyclops holding the lifeless body of Jean Grey, the cool guy Iceman, Beast, and their own zombified seaworm. The bald headed superhero appears familiar to the X-men group, but the speed and power he moves at when punching Beast into oblivion sends shutters down their spines. Cyclops finally makes an appearance in battle by shooting a laser beam at the caped foe, but narrowly misses. However, he did not realize the beam would destroy his own air bubble and began to drown. Iceman begins frantically trying to ice One Punch Man and is successful, but not until after their lone seaworm is mutilated. With One Punch Man immobilized, Cyclops sends one last beam through his skull before finally drowning. 

Aquaman and Iceman need to fend off 4 seaworms to be able to finally face King Jar Jar. Seaworm #1A moves straight for the Omega level mutant, Iceman, and is completely unbothered by his attempt to freeze the mighty great maker and Iceman is swallowed whole. With the king of the seas facing four large creatures, he remembers his hydrokinesis abilities and simply uses them to force the great creatures to eat each other.

Finally, one last person is left before Aquaman. He bursts into the great hall of this underwater castle only to find that King Jar Jar’s random clumsiness and luck has run out as Jar Jar appears to have slipped and hit his head causing his own death. So much for the supposed Darth Jar Jar rumors…

—

In a bonus side story, a retelling of Mathew Perry’s fate unfolded. He yet again got really high on various drugs, and again decided to take a face down snooze in a bathtub (not very effective when you’re already completely underwater). Fortunately for this time around, the beloved Friends character was granted his air bubble like everyone else at the start of the match. It allowed him to live!! Yay!! I can’t belie– wait, what are you doing?? Oh ma lawd he just popped his own bubble to drown himself…

Darkseid's Horsemen of Apocalypse vs. Dolla49 McRib

Darkseid’s Horsemen of Apocalypse: Poseidon, Qwsp, King Sidon, The Tiger Sharks: Mako, Walro, Gupp, Octavia, and Lorca, Gannon, Kamek, Diddy and Dixie Kong, Donald and Daisy Duck, Arsenal w/ Red Lantern Ring, Dante, Katow Joe, Zombie Black Lantern, Vampire Black Lantern

Dolla49 McRib: Broly, Aqua Girl, 3 Seaworms, Piccolo, Ronald Regan w/Indigo Lantern Ring, World Serpent, Fing Fang Foom, Zues, MewTwo, 3 Kryptonians, Uncle Grandpa, Black Lantern Jedi Master, Blue Beatle, Zombie Green Lantern, Blue Lantern, 2 Yellow Lanterns, 1 Chatari Leviathan

The air is thick with tension. On the east shore of Lake Michigan, The Horsemen assemble. At the forefront, Poseidon, sea god and commander, slams his trident into the wet sand. Beside him is Qwsp. King Sidon gives a nod to the Tiger Sharks—some bippen underwater heroes ready for battle. 

Across the lake, a deafening roar signals the arrival of The Dolla 49 McRib squad.

Floating above the water is Brolly, radiating Super Saiyan fury, his aura lighting the sky. At his side, Aqua Girl with three monstrous Seaworms slithering behind her. Piccolo levitates calmly while aura farming before the battle.

Then comes the surreal—Ronald Reagan, resurrected and wielding an Indigo Lantern Ring, preaching compassion and American politics. Uncle Grandpa starts to shout nonsense that somehow bends reality. 

Poseidon raises his trident: “Let the sea judge you!” Thunder crashes as he and Zeus launch the opening blows, waves clashing against lightning. The force sends a shockwave across the lake, creating a whirlpool where water and lightning merge.

Broly charges with a berserker's rage, only to be intercepted by Dante, who counters but is no match for this Sayian god.  Broly whoops his ass all the way to Grand Haven.

Meanwhile, Qwsp traps the Kryptonians in a pocket reality of infinite banana peels, only for Uncle Grandpa to arrive riding a toaster and undo reality itself, freeing them. Diddy and Dixie Kong team up with Katow Joe and Octavia to ambush Blue Beetle, launching from tree to tree in a jungle they conjure from nothing.

The Tiger Sharks dive into the lake, meeting the Seaworms in a frenzy of fangs and fins. Mako bites one in half while Walro uses tech to shock the others. 

High above, Arsenal in red-ring rage duels the Yellow Lanterns, screaming, “YOU TOOK MY PEACE!” Blood constructs clash with fear-made monsters.

Ronald Reagan, eyes glowing with indigo compassion, tries to reform Ganon, who sneers and hurls a trident of dark fire, burning through ideology and idealism alike.

On land, Donald Duck, now the storm mage “Quacknor the Tempest,” summons cyclones that tear through Zombie Green Lantern and fling Mewtwo momentarily—but Mewtwo rebounds, capturing Donald in a psychic prison shaped like a duck cage.

Zombie Black Lantern and Vampire Black Lantern tear into the Leviathan, who slams them with a massive tail, cratering half the battlefield.

King Sidon battles Aqua Girl, trident vs. waterbending, dancing on waves like gladiators of the deep. Piccolo joins the fray, splitting into clones—only to be countered by Kamek’s multiplying magic.

Then everything freezes—Mewtwo, amplifying time dilation, stops the battle for a brief second... just long enough for Zeus to gather a storm to end them all.

But Qwsp, unfazed by logic or time, simply rewinds the moment and replaces Zeus’s lightning with confetti and rubber ducks.

As the battlefield erupts in chaos, Blue Lantern empowers the surviving Lanterns, and with the help of the god poseidon they are able to take down the egomaniac Broly.

Poseidon dives deep into the lake, awakening something older than even himself—the Heart of Lake Michigan, a primordial sea spirit. It rises, a leviathan of water and spirit, swallowing the Chitauri Leviathan whole.

Mewtwo and Ganon face off in the center, until the Zombie Black Lantern infects them both with anti-life for a terrifying instant. But Blue Lantern’s hope burns through the corruption, leaving Ganon in ash and Mewtwo weakened.

As the energy of gods, lanterns, mutants, monsters, and maniacs overloads the very fabric of the lake, reality begins to tear. Uncle Grandpa accidentally eats the fourth wall, briefly showing viewers that the battle is being livestreamed by Rick Sanchez.

Finally, Poseidon, bloodied and battered, locks tridents with Zeus, whose rage becomes divine wildfire. But in a twist, Ronald Reagan steps in, quoting, “Mr. Zeus, tear down this storm.” and channels indigo light through the divine ether.

In a thunderous final blow, Poseidon and Sidon combine forces striking down Zeus in a blast that empties the lake and refills it in an instant.  Although this reveals Fing Fang Foom hiding at the bottom of Lake Michigan.  

He has lost his element of surprise and is struck down with yet another thunderous blow that empties the entirety of the Great Lake.

The battlefield is quiet. Most of both teams lie unconscious. The survivors regroup on a floating island formed from the remains of the Leviathan.

Poseidon, bruised but triumphant, raises his trident. “This lake... is protected.”

Ronald Reagan, now sipping tea “In the end, compassion and chaos were the only constants.”

A duck quacks.

The credits roll.

Week 7: Doctor's Madhouse vs Grayson's Goobers

Doctors Madhouse: Ursa, Ocean Master, Aqualad, The Deep, Swamp Thing, Ulmo, Kit Fisto, Avatar Wan, In a Speed Boat: Kurt Houslander w/ Power Glove and Frank “Wendeezys” Metivier w/ Endless Zyn and Variety Pack of Four Lokos, Seaworm #2A-3A (#2 is final death), Atlantean #1-8, Blood Bender #1-2, Water Bender #1-4

Grayson’s Goobers: Avatar Kyoshi, Beast Boy, King Shark, Octane, Mr. Freeze, Killer Frost, Ace Duck, Donkey Kong, Bowser Jr, Frozone, Admiral Ackbar, Swamp Bender #1-3, Meta-Knight, King Dedede, Sub Zero, Kyogre, and Stark Android #1

Today these two teams will do battle in THE greatest Lake that is Lake Michigan, a body of water that has been lucky to witness decades of Houslander vacations; including the 2 #7’s challenge, the incredibly creative and inspiring statement “I’m on vacation, I can do whatever I want”, and the infamous flat line breath taking tackle that Zach Houslander landed on yours truly in the summer of 23’... we can only hope to see some action that matches those moments in entertainment today. 

This skirmish gets started with Ocean Master and Aqualad leading the way for the madhouse, jogging in unison into the lake from grand traverse bay. Aquaman’s pupils, who’s life goals are to reach the king of the seven seas excellence, are excited to participate in a skirmish in which they won’t be overshadowed. Swamp Thing's Aura is immaculate, hovering at a medium speed alongside his team, approaching the Goober’s who are stationed smack dab in the middle of the lake. In fact, The Swamp Benders were so honored to be in the presence of Swamp Thing that they all pooped their pants and killed themselves because there was now nothing else to live for. 

The Goobers have constructed a base similar to the fortress of solitude between Mr. Freeze, Killer Frost, Frozone and Sub Zero utilizing their powers above the water as much as they possibly can. King Shark and Beast Boy, who has converted into a Great White Shark to accompany his teammate are circling the base with Avatar Kyoshi standing guard at the front gate, sending giant waves in each direction. Above the base is Meta-Knight and King Dedede, both eager to swoop down and pounce on the oncoming Madhouse members with the remaining goobers lying within the walls of the fortress. 

This is quite the scene, Im having a blast swirling around the water from a decent distance on a jet ski that I definitely didn’t pay for, awaiting the collision that is about to commence. 

The Madhouse are gaining momentum, going from jogging - to riding on one ginormous tidal wave as a collective towards the goobers created by Ulmo. The only exception being Kurt and Frank on their speedboat and Ursa racing ahead by flight.

Approaching 50 yards from the ice fortress, The Madhouse leap off of the tidal wave and jump to the offensive. 

Ursa burts towards the two flying Goobers in Meta-Knight and King Dedede and plays a deadly game of wackamole with the two Kirby characters, demolishing them both in seconds with Dedede’s giant hammer. She then does the same to the sole puny Stark Android who came to their aid way too late. 

Beast Boy locks eyes with The Deep, noticing he’s attempting to take control of his mind telepathically but is failing miserably as Beast Boy retains his human brain in his animal form. Beast Boy charges at Ulmo and takes a CHOMP from his midsection, separating his body into 3 floating lifeless pieces, kicking this match off by creating a literal blood bath. 

“NASTYYY AHH FLESH BRUH!!” Beast Boy screams out in disgust, with a trailing King Shark chuckling. 

“You’ll Get used to it” King Shark says in a sharl, doing the same fatal deed to the OG Avatar, Wan, who had no response to the speed and size of the meta human enhanced Great White Shark. 

Beast Boy then perfectly segue’s into a giant octopus and starts dotting up King Shark’s mouth with the madhouse commons eight at a time until every last Atlanteon, Blood Bender, and Water Bender is devoured. Kurt and Frank are having quite the time getting crunk on their speed until Beast Boy continues his clinic, slamming the boat down and grabbing the two with his tentacles, giving them the same fate as their common teammates. Frank had a smile on his face the entire time he was airborne and was just casually saucing zyns into beast boys octopus mouth at an extremely impressive rate, giving him the nicotine high of a lifetime. King Shark is now big time suffering and is extremely sick as he just ate fifteen bodies and swam right after (this is a big no-no). Not to mention he also appears to have 4 upper decky zyns chilling under is lip as somehow frank has turned into a zyn distributing ninja in his dying breaths. 

Kit Fisto is using the force to leap frog towards beast boy and king shark saying “Yay” with each jump. I’m honestly not sure if he’s just really excited or if he went full retard, he doesn’t typically talk much. 

Kit takes one last lunge towards King Shark using a trail of water to thrust himself at an epic speed in which he ignites his lightsaber and severs his ginormous head, killing the shark for good. Immediately, he turns towards the front gate of the base where Kyoshi is throwing everything shes got at him attempting to throw him off of his game. Bobbing and weaving up and down through the water, Kit easily dodges everything Kyoshi has to offer and sends several lightsaber slashes through her body leaving her in a pile of ash. Looking it up and down, Master Fisto sees that it is an extremely dense block of ice acting as the front gate barrier and there must be a different way to break through. 

Elegantly, he dives deep under water to check out the foundation of the goobers base seeing that it is extremely stout and expanding before his eyes outward, up and around the water. 

“This things gotta come down ASAP” Kit Fisto reports back to the Madhouse. 

“Copy that” says Ocean Master.

Donkey Kong is darting through the water with his unprecedented swimming expertise that hes displayed over the years. He’s searched every inch of this lake for a barrel with the power to bring his good buddy Diddy to the party (ayo) but has had zero luck, so this gives him even more of an urge to punch something as hard as he possibly can. 

Frozone has come out from within the fortress to help Donkey Kong hold off the madhouse a little longer so their base can continue to expand until there is no water left to solidify. 

Frozone begins to flash roads of ice waxing and waning through the air in which DK is rolling around like a bowling bowl ready to make his move. Once he gets close enough, DK catapults off of his ice slide and charges up a punch that connects with Ulmo’s right cheek, shattering his skull while he emotes in gorilla and dives perfectly back into the water to regain his upwards momentum. Flinging back above, rolling upon a perfectly placed slate of ice by frozone, DK launches towards aqualad and grabs ahold of his neck, snapping it in half and hurreling him into the distance. 

Donkey Kong has attained some unfamiliar blood lust as his family is no where to be found, he has no plumber to torture, and no barrel to craddle. He begins to shed a tear, a confused gorilla blessed with an incredible ability just needs a close friend at this moment, and all he gets is a back breaking kick from Ursa who finally puts the monkey to sleep. 

“Destroy the fortress, NOW! Yells Ocean Master

Swamp Thing confronts it, soaking up the water like a nerf ball and stretching vines with high durable girth, crushing the exterior ice shield. Ocean Master plants his trident on the tip of the fortress summoning a devastating lightning strike to come down and crumble the foundation, KILLing Killer Frost and Frozone who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and opening the door for Ursa to finish the base off with a jab of kryptonian strength. 

The Goobers who once had an extreme tactical advantage are now scattered across the lake and in close quarters with their opposition. 

Bowser Jr who has been playing his gameboy in his clowncar waiting for action within the ice walls has begun flight towards Kit Fisto alongside Kyogre. Bowser Jr. flings a flurry of bombs at the Jedi Master in which he redirects with water orbs with clutch and close timing. But the flurry doesn’t end, Bowser. Jr lays down roughly a hundred parachuted ba-bombs that Kit Fisto is struggling to keep under control, this serves as a perfect distraction for Kyorge who generates a mini whirlpool, swallowing and sending Fisto pummeling down through the lake to his death. Ursa then sent a wave of heat vision in the direction of Bowser. Jr, creating a ba-bomb fire work show that was fatal to the bowser clone. 

Seaworm #2 has laid dormant at the bottom of the lake for the majority of the match and has seem to eaten his brethren out of sure boredom and #3’s lack of awareness. It’s attention has been grabbed with the colossal explosion happening several hundred feet above as It rushes towards the surface. The spice retained from his fellow worm has enhanced his speed and stength, leading to it swallowing Octane and the huge Octopus that is Beast Boy in one spoonfull. 

The tide is shifting; Ocean Master relieved Ackbar and Kyorge of their lives with his Trident and Swamp Thing is drowning the remaining Goobers with little resistance. 

Mr. Freeze and Sub-Zero tried to reinforce their earlier ice synergy but were done with through brute strength and mass. 

With one team remaining, the water is calming and the minnows are coming out of hiding. 

“Today, I am King” Ocean Master says with a cocky smile on his face. 

Ace Duck ate bread on the beach for the entirety of the match and is now living the rest of his life annoying the people of North Shore Inn who are too stupid to stop feeding the ducks.

Week 7 Staff Consortium: Sigmas vs Cowboy Killers

Sigmas: Anakin Skywalker in TIE Dagger, Falco in Arwing, Duncan Idaho in B-Wing, Starscream, Elden Beast, Ramjet, The Blob, Dirge, Nightmare, Witch King of Angmar on Fell Beast

Cowboy Killers: Namor, Triton, Namorita, Dorma, Atlantean 1-10, Ajax, Beowulf, Hecate, Martian Manhunter

The Washington Redskins Vs.The Sigmaz

 The Washington Redskins are Aspen, The Sando Aqua Monster, Allicon #1-5, Abe Sapien, Kermit THEE Frog (w/ G27 & G40), Squirtle, Atlantean #9-10, Tommy Oliver, Roy Houslander (w/ The Houslander Family Katana & The Darksaber), Sinestro (w/ The White antern Ring), Chuck Norris, Kup, Bat-Mite (w/ Dwarf Ring #6), The Toxic Crusaders:  Toxie, No-Zone, Major Disaster, & Junkyard, Chian (w/ a Green Lantern Ring), & Danny Ocean.

The Sigmaz are Sanji, Zoro, Jimbo, Robin, & Franky w/ N-Sync in The Thousand Sunny, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:  Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, & Raphael (all w/ Glocks), Jason Voorhees, Mega Man & Rush, Powerglide, Brightburn, & Death.

Week 7 Democracy: TEAM Vs. The Underhills

 TEAM is: Godzilla, Katara, Sokka, Toph, Appa, & Momo, Vah Ruta, Vah Medoh, Vah Rudania, Vah Naboris, Phibian #1-10, Gizmo, Kyle Houslander, Jack Lalane, Moby Dick, DC Thor, Beta Ray Bill, & Go-Bot Renegade #2-4.

The Underhills are:  Black Manta, Mera, Namora, Percy Jackson, The Seacons: Nautilator, Seawing, Overbite, Skalor, Snaptrap, & Tanktail, X-Man, Ikaris, V (for Vendetta (w/ a green lantern ring)), Kyle Rayner, & Xenomorph #6-15. 

Darkseid's Horsemen of The Apocalypse vs. Team

The Horsemen: Ultron w/ The Infinity Gauntlet including the Power and Time stones (FINAL DEATH), Nekron, Black Lantern Darkseid, Black Lantern Apocalypse, Black Lantern Agent Smith, The Eradicator, Zombie Superboy, Grand Admiral Thrawn in The Phoenix TIE Fighter, Wedge Antilles in a Y-Wing, Biggs Darklighter in Cubs Fan Han’s TIE Slicer, Starfire, Eric Cartmen in the Hulk Buster Iron Man Suit, Paradoom #1-3

TEAM: Unicron, Primus, Ego, Blitzwing, Legion of Superheroes: Mon-El, Triplicate Girl, Phantom Girl, Invisible Kid, Star Boy, Lightning Lad, Alex Houslander: Indigo Lantern, Maria Ianni, Alex Houslander w/ Super Scope 6, Yakub, Sweep #1

 The cold vastness that is space was overwhelmed with the sense of the impending doom that would set forth momentarily.  The Justice League Headquarters was the next victim of destruction from the almighty FFL. This match will be hosted and narrated by the esteemed  watcher that is Wendeezys.

 

I sense a feeling of impending doom coming forth to us this week.  We have a titan vs. titan match up in the American League. TEAM and The Horsemen are 2 teams that have Universe Bowl aspirations and this regular season match could hold a lot of weight in the standings at the end of regular season writing.

 

And here comes Ultron, big dick swinging on his final death and wielding the infinity gauntlet with 2 stones (Power and Time).  Darkseid seems to be letting him have his possible final moment knowing who is really the big dawg of this monstrous team.  Also joining the two is Agent Smith and The Eradicator.

 “Hey Wendeezys, are you blind blood? This match started like 30 minutes ago you think we would be the first to show up for our team?” shouts Ultron

 

“Huh” replies Wendeezys

 

Crashes begin to cause ripples through space knocking Wendeezys off his flying Nimbus right into the Justice League headquarters.  

 

 Inside the headquarters we observe a battle. 

*Sorry wendeezys hit his head on the way down causing some brain damage*

 Eric Cartman in the Hulk buster suit unleashes a ballistic assault on both of the Alex Houslander’s from TEAM.  One a renown sniper with a super scope six, and the other wielding a lantern ring in the fight.  Sniper Alex emits a barrage of fire on Eric Cartman.  The accuracy can only be compared to that of Legolas, one of the best archers we have ever feasted our eyes upon. 

 Zombie Superboy comes to the aid of Eric Cartman. Although a replication of Superman and being zombified he remains a strong source of power for this team.  His attack directs right to Sniper Alex who shits his pants in anticipation of the attack causing him to miss his shot and take a right hook that made him die on the spot… while also shitting his pants again. 

 Lantern Alex laughes hysterically at the thought of other Alex shidding them drawers and is attacked by Cartman who unleashes a beam of light from the palm of his hand incinerating the Lantern Alex.

 “Dude totally not kewl, I think they both shit their pants when they died” says Cartman.

 Well my head is feeling better and my flying nimbus is back.  Let's check out the surrounding space for the rest of the fight because it sound like it be boppin out dur.

 Holy hell they do be boxin out here.

 The arrival of Unicron and Primus have the attention of Ultron, Darkseid and The Erradicator.  Looks like off the brand Avengers and Justice League, The Legion of Superheros is duking it out with Agent Smith and Apocalypse.

 Once foes now fighting along side each other Unicron and Primus seem to be working well together.  Bold strategy from TEAM lets see how this plays out Cotton.  

The two sadistic animals begin to attack each other first.  Darkseid a worthy tyrant to fight the rage and murder that consumes Unicron.  Their attacks make ripples travel across space itself.  All while Ultron is taking on the living embodiment of the Transformers.   

 Ultron forced to go all out against the transformer begins to throw lasers across space out of rage because this will not be an easy fight but it unfortunately hits the Justice League building killing his allies Cartman and Zombie Superboy.

 “Sheeeiiittt” says Ultron

 Ultron takes a huge blow from Primus.  Causing his AI to run out of control losing all access to his abilities outside of flight.  He has no choice but to flee the scene for now.

 Darkseid remains the favorite in his fight against Unicron.  His stamina and strength were what gave him the upper hand in this fight.  Bringing Unicron to his knees.  “CITY BOY” screeches Darkseid as he disposes of Unicron.

 Ultron while hiding keeps hearing a voice in his head.  Very subtle but he can still hear it through the heat of battle.

 “Simulation failing”

 Meanwhile the fake Avengers are throwing hands with Agent Smith and Apocalypse.  Or should I say on Apocalypse.  The Legion of Superheros are fighting there to inflict as much friendly damage to Apocolypse as possible.  Agent Smith will have to calculate his next moves carefully.  While this is happening Grand Admiral Thrawn in The Phoenix TIE Fighter does a suicide mission to help the out numbered Agent Smith.  While trying to hit Lightning Lad he missed but hit Invisible Kid instead.  He couldn’t see him but he torched his ass.  Oh hell here comes another its Biggs Darklighter in Cubs Fan Han’s TIE Slicer who was able to hit Lightning Lad this time around.  

 Starfire also joins the fight to help Smith

 Starboy jumps into the action increasing the weight of the wreckage and huals it towards the two Horsemen who are able to effectively dodge the attack.  The Princess Starfire hurls flashes of light through the sky only to be met by Mon-El’s heat vision.  The arrays of light go back and forth for what seems like and eternity until it releases an unrelenting explosion towards the two killing them both. 

 Agent Smith is continuing to dodge the incoming attacks from the remaining Legion of Superheros.  Smith is able to move swiftly enough to attack all 3 of the Triplicate Girl ending her useless life. Haha women 

 What was that?  It feels like the Justice League building is shaking.  Wait thats not a building.  Its Ego hiding his true form!

 Ego starts with an onslaught of attacks.  The angered planet unleashes a blast that destroys Apocalypse and everyone on it.  

 “What the fuck” says Wendeezys in that accent from that hick dude that ranks the random flavors. Iykyk 

 Well we have come down to our final opponents. From the Horsemen we still have Ultron, Nekron, Black Lantern Darkseid, and The Eradicator.  From TEAM we have Primus, Ego and Blitzwing.  

 Wait a minute did I say Nekron

 A sinister laugh is heard from the distance.  My Black Lanterns have done my bidding making me stronger through this whole fight.  No one can stop me.

 “Blitzwing attack this retard” says primus 

 Blitzwing charges toward nekron who avoids the attack but is able to touch him while evading.  This allowed the fatal touch to consume Blitzwing.

 The Horsemen begin the following attacks.  Darkseid and The Eradicator team up to face the remaining transformer.  Darkseid takes charge towards the hunk of metal trying to win this fight with pure strength.  Ego wasn’t going to allow this to happen and grabbed the god right out of space.

 “You may have survived the destruction of a planet, but this time the only thing that will be destroyed is your legacy” says Ego as he crushes Darkseid into almost nothing.

 Ultron still around the fight with his AI going more and more crazy.  

 “Abort simulation, simulation failed” repeating in the head of Ultron who begins to lose sanity.

 Nekron and The Eradicator are all that are helping against these two Titans from TEAM.  The end is looking near for the Horsemen as The Eradicator goes down.  Leaving only Nekron to fight planets.  

 “GET OUT OF ME FREAKING HEAD MAN” screams Ultron “I CAN’T TAKE THESE VOICES ANYMORE MAN”

 Ultron makes a b line for the two planets.

 “NO, STOP, DON’T DO THIS” shouts Nekron who knows that Ultron is going for the Ultimate suicide mission but his words couldn’t over power the voices in his freaking head man.

 With the power of the Gauntlet Ultron is able to destroy everything insite besides Wendeezys tho because he da Goat.

 …

 …

 …

 …

 …

 …

 “Simulation Complete, did you enjoy your possible future Mr.Ultron” says his internal AI

 “Who the fuck is Wendeezys?” asks Ultron.

The Washington Redskins vs The Cowboy Killers

 The Washington Redskins are:

Sinestro (w/ White Lantern Ring), Sodam Yat, Black Lantern Omega Supreme, Air Zonk, Thundercracker ,Skywarp, Powergirl, Scar, Quicksilver w/ Talleyhawk, Steelheart w/ Stronghold, Steelwill w/ Rayzor, The Copper Kid w/ Mayday, & Colonel Bluegrass w/ Sideman in the Mirage, Star Wolf in the Geonosian Spy's Ship, Twincast w/ decibal & Legout (Thundercracker's pet dog) Buster, Edwin Zacharski (the 3^rd), Jerry Zacharski, Little Beaver, & Andrew Laidlaw in a heavy Star Cruiser, & Cybertronian Guardians #2-5

 

The Cowboy Killers are:

Ajax, Hecate, Sky Lynx, Commander Ahsoka in a Stealth X-Wing, Superman, Magneto w/Red Lantern Ring, Legends Leia Organa w/C3P0 and Hope Summers In and ID4 Transport Ship, Storm, Beowolf, & Blue Lantern #2A

 

 

Superman struggles to move being held down by the powers of Sinestro, Scar, and Sodam Yat. Next to him lies his wounded comrades Blue Lantern #2A, Hecate and Ajax. He glances out of the window to see his team's ID4 transport ship in the distance, well beyond range.

 

"Far enough" says a defeated Superman as he turns his face towards the transporter room and focuses his heat vision. The Justice League Satellite headquarters explodes, killing everyone on board.

 

Previously.....

 

Ahsoka  and Star Wolf find themselves in a dog fight, both excellent pilots who are finding it difficult to lock on to the other. The Mirage and Heavy Star Cruiser join the battle and with the added laser blasts Ahsoka is unable to dodge them all and is destroyed along with her ship. Sky Lynx quickly avenges his teammate by taking out both the Mirage and the Geonosian Spy’s ship. The heavy star cruise takes some heavy hits prompting its occupants to get into an escape pod , which attempts to dock at the Justice League HQ. Sky Lynx is unable to take out the escape pod as he is surrounded by several gigantic robots, BL Omega Supreme and the Cybertronian Guardians. They each grab a part of Sky Lynx and tear him apart with little effort.

 

Magneto peers outside at BL Omega Supreme and the other Cybertronian Guardians. He attempts to transform them into compact cubes when Thundercracker and Skywarp fly in. He stops them mid flight but is unable to crush them with his power. Magneto is able to contain the transformers but is struggling to do much more. Superman sees this and begins blasting through each transformer. As he gets to BL Omega Supreme Magneto becomes exhausted and with his regained strength BL Omega Supreme punches Superman knocking him unconscious. After having patiently waited for his moment Air Zonk swoops in firing his weapon from the Air Zonk universe which Mageneto is powerless to control, and blasts Magneto away. This creates a vacuum in the room and sets off the emergency alarm. Air Zonk expertly zigs and zags through all of the debris when right before he is clear a small piece of shrapnel touches him and kills him.

 

Blue Lantern #2A is able to easily finish off the weakened BL Omega Supreme and then floats over to Superman and uses his powers to help him regain consciousness.

 

Leia, C3PO, and Hope Summers, responding the alarm, make their way into their ID4 transport ship. "We need to get as far away from here as possible." Exclaims Leia as they undock. They don't make it far before Power Girl crashes into the cockpit, causing Leia and Hope Summers to get sucked into space. Not C3PO though, he was responsibly wearing his space seatbelt. DC physics apply so they are just dead. Superman intercepts Power Girl before she can do anymore damage. She kows she is no match for superman and flees back to the Justice League HQ. Superman turns to C3PO "Get this ship as far from here as you can." then chases after power girl. C3PO looks down at the control panels and mutters "Oh dear".

 

Power Girl crashes into the Justice League Satellite where Sinestro and Sodam Yat are squaring off against Hecate and Ajax.

 

Meanwhile, the crew of the recently docked heavy star cruiser’s escape pod are roaming around when they hear the emergency alarm go off. They find their way to the teleportation room.

 

Andrew Laidlaw turns to Twincast orders him to the control panel.

 

Twincast looks at the controls while the Zacharski bros and Buster find space suits to put on. Luckily Buster finds Krypto’s suit laying around.

 

Twincast looks a bit confused but starts pushing some buttons. Andrew Laidlaw & Little Beaver step on to the teleporter and moments later they are gone.

 

The Zacharski bros and buster step up next and are quickly transported away.

 

Twincast begins programming it to go for himself and Decibal when Beowolf and Storm barge into the room and shoots lightning through the control panel. The transporter begins building up energy as the four throw each other around the room.

 

 

The Zacharski bros and Buster reanimate and find themselves in an unfamiliar ship. They begin looking around and eventually work their way to the bridge which appears to be blown open. Then they notice C3PO sitting in his seat.

 

“Oh dear!” C3PO exclaims as they pick him up and toss him out of the ship. They also notice the body of Andrew Laidlaw floating around outside of the ship.

 

“Bummer!” exclaims Jerry. “What do we do now?”

 

“We wait” replies Ed Zacharski.

 

Jerry sits down and kicks his feet up on the console. “Right on!” he says as they watch the ship float away from the Justice League Satellite. They wait for some time until it is small in the distance, where it lights up as it explodes.