Xavier's Annihilation Squad vs. The Transfoamers

“The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand."
-Frank Herbert

I look to the teams during this Week 7 Match on Scorched Planet Wallach IX. They are as follows:

Xavier's Annihilation Squad: Supergirl, Imhotep, The Scorpion King, Anck Su Namun, Sandstorm, Sandman, Cactus Head, Rumma and Mutt, Kalibak, Zombie Josh Houslander riding on Zombie Silver Dragon #2, Paul Atreides, Atreides Soldiers #1-6, Metroplex, Barricade, Bonecrusher, Brainstorm and Arcana, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker and Lurch.

The Transfoamers: Sandworms #6 and 13, Zombie Extinction Alice, Zombie Apocalypse Alice, Blue Streak, Metallica: James Hetfield (w/ Darth Bane's old lightsaber), Lars Ulrich (w/ an Atlas), Kirk Hammet (w/ a Heat Axe) and Jason Newsted (w/ a Halberd), Dark Side Adepts #7-12, Jedi Masters #9, 29, 34, 35, & 50A, Jedi Guardian #5, Nexu #1, Fremen #58-63 and Purple Dragons #15-17.

Let the Battle begin. . .

Zombie Josh Houslander rides on Zombie Silver Dragon #2. Houslander sings a bastardized version of the famous West Side Story song.

Houslander: I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty ,
That Wallach IX should give me its key.
A committee,
Should be organized to honor me!

The Zombies are met by Purple Dragons #15-17. Silver Dragon manifests its cone of cold to freeze Purple Dragon #15’s wing. With its wings severely damaged, Purple Dragon falls to its death. Purple Dragons #16 and 17 combine their skills and utilize both their cones of searing energy and deadly energy blades. Zombie Silver Dragon #2 is ripped apart. Zombie Josh Houslander falls and is miraculously scooped up by Sandman’s cushioned sand mass. Supergirl flies to the scene and kills Purple Dragon #16. Brainstorm and Arcana (in Cybertronian jet form) shoot down Purple Dragon #17.

Houslander thanks Sandman for his rescue. As Zombie Houslander walks away, he is heard singing to himself.

Houslander: I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine;
And so pretty,
Bryatu can just resign!

Paul Atreides and Atreides Soldiers #1-6 fight Fremen #58-63. Atreides Soldiers #2-4 are killed. Nonetheless, the combined skills of Atreides and his soldiers wipe out Fremen #58-63. Atreides leads his remaining men, Soldiers #1, 5-6 toward the enemy. Nexu #1 pounces on Atreides Soldier #1 and rips him apart. Nexu #1 strikes Paul Atreides and knocks him out. Atreides is unconscious and does not see his other two teammates, Atreides Soldiers #5-6, shredded by the voracious beast. As Nexu #1 is about to kill Paul Atreides, he is saved by Sandstorm, in dune buggy form. While Nexu #1 chases the Transformer and its transport, the monster is attacked by Bonecrusher and Barricade. The two Transformers, in robot form, kill Nexu #1.

Metallica: James Hetfield (w/ Darth Bane's old lightsaber), Lars Ulrich (w/ an Atlas), Kirk Hammet (w/ a Heat Axe) and Jason Newsted (w/ a Halberd) face Imhotep, Scorpion King and Anck Su Namun. The Scorpion King uses his warrior skills to kill Hammet before the rocker is even able to use his Heat Axe. Anck Su Namun throws her daggers at Newstead, who falls. As Namun turns, she feels a pain in her stomach. She looks down and sees Hetfield’s lightsaber burning into her abdomen. Namun falls. Imhotep sees his love die and unleashes his fury at both Hetfield and Ulrich. The two are engulfed in a sandstorm and are blinded. They do not see Kalibak’s Beta Club as it smashes their faces in.

Zombie Extinction Alice and Zombie Apocalypse Alice locate Lurch and Cactus Head. ZEA quickly dispels with Cactus Head. ZAA kills Lurch. The two Alices focus on Zombie Houslander. Houslander’s mind wanders. . . Alice-Houslander-Alice. What a great sandwich!!!

Houslander: I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real!

Those words are the final ones sung by Houslander as he is killed by both Alices. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker arrive at the scene. The two Transformers, in robot mode, blast the heads off of both Alices; Zombie Apocalypse Alice and Zombie Extinction Alice are destroyed.

The two robots are then joined by the rest of the Squad’s Transformers. Metroplex, Barricade, Bonecrusher, Brainstorm and Arcana come beside Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. Sandstorm lets out a conscious Paul Atreides and joins the others. The Transformers take on Sandworms #6 and 13, with the assistance of Imhotep, Kalibak, and Supergirl. Ihmotep creates an immense sand storm which wraps around and engulfs the worms. Supergirl uses her heat vision to transform parts of the sand into glass shards. The shards rip at both worms. The winds’ forces cause the lasers and blasts of the Transformers and Kalibak to magnify into weapons of mass destruction. The cu-de gras is Supergirl’s frost breath. The combined forces of the Transformers and other combatants destroy both Sandworms #6 and 13. The Sandworms, before their deaths though, are able to destroy Sideswipe, Bonecrusher and Barricade.

Blue Streak races in front of the charging Dark Side Adepts #7-12, Jedi Masters #9, 29, 34, 35, & 50A and Jedi Guardian #5. They are met by Supergirl, Imhotep, The Scorpion King, Sandstorm, Sandman, Rumma and Mutt, Kalibak, Paul Atreides, Metroplex, Brainstorm and Arcana. Dark Side Adepts #7-12 easily slice through Rumma and Mutt. Jedi Masters #9, 29, 34, 35 and 50A take nothing for granted. They use their combined force wielding skills and lightsabers to kill Paul Atreides and Scorpion King. Jedi Guardian #5 falls to Imhotep. Metroplex unleashes its entire weapons’ arsenal and is joined by the fury of Sandman’s projections, Supergirl’s heat vision and frost breath and Kalibak’s Beta Club force bolts and nerve beams. They rip through the entire Jedi Master and Dark Side Adept clans.

Blue Streak sees his entire team decimated and skates away.

Transfoamers: Blue Streak survives, but retreats.

Xavier’s Annihilation Squad: Supergirl, Imhotep, Sandstorm, Sandman, Kalibak, Metroplex, Brainstorm and Arcana, and Sunstreaker survive.

XAVIER’S ANNIHILATION SQUAD IS VICTORIOUS!!!