Friday, April 27, 2012

Week Six- Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies vs The Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Brock Samson's Fighting Muderflies are:

(BL) Guy Gardner
Powerpuff Girl: Bubbles (9 deaths)
Andre the Giant     in an imperial Shuttle
Black Lantern General Grievous
Robonic Moe, Robonic Larry and Robonic Curly
Mars Attacks! Martians  #1-10
Black Panther w/ John Stewart's Green Lantern Ring
Batgirl w/ Green Lantern Ring
Howard the Duck w/ Green Lantern Ring
Booster Gold
Teddy Roosevelt w/ Green Lantern Ring
Ernie Harwell w/ Blue Lantern Ring
Fluke Starbuster in an A-Wing

The Horsemen of the Apocalypse are:

Eternity
The One Above All (Celestial)
Aron, the Rogue Watcher
Scar (Evil Green Lantern Guardian)
Firestorm - Jason Rusch
Phoenix - Jean Grey
Annhilius
Stitch in a Jedi V-Wing w/R2 Unit #11
Dai Atlas
White Lantern Sinestro
Black Lantern Mike Sroka
Red Lantern Jeff Houslander
Brother Hymn
Ce Ce Denowi w/Indigo Lantern Ring
Hal Jordan - Parallax - Ophidian w/2 Green Lantern Rings, Sinestro's Yellow Lantern Ring, a Red Lantern Ring & a Star Sapphire Ring.

While flying in the deep reaches of space. Members of the Murderflies talk about their current situation.

"Aaak! Aaak aaak akk! Aaak!" screams Martian #9

"Aaak. Aaak aaak aak. Aaak aak." Martian #4 chimes in

"Aaak." Martian #1 somberly states.

Aron, the Rogue Watcher smiles as he watches that entire exchange take place. For it is plain to see from their conversation, things are not going well for the Murderflies.Ce Ce Denowi took out five of the Murderflies' Martians before she was felled by BL Grievous. Fluke Starbuster's death was no fluke as he was out gunned by Stitch in his V-Wing. Aron then smiles as he locates Andre the Giant's craft and decides to teleport him into Eternity, figuring a battle between to ridiculously giant beings is something he'd like to see.

What Aron didn't count on, is Andre being a master of giant anatomy. Andre pulls up the navigation on the imperial shuttle and discovers he's right near the central system that composes Eternity's heart.  Andre goes to fire, but the missles are deflected. Eternity just changes the gravity around the stars and causes the light based missle to go off target. In order to  penetrate the gravitational well, he's gonna need more mass. Then it hits him. Andre realizes that he can kill Eternity, but will end up dying in the process. For Andre, it is not an option. He kicks things to light speed and before Eternity can react, the shuttle pierces Eternity's heart system killing both of the giant combatants, and Annhilius who snuck onto Andre's shuttle and hoped to take the giant by surprise.

"F***K!" screams Aron. What seemed to be an obvious squash match didn't turn out the way he'd planned. He sees Howard the Duck fly by and decides to go duck hunting. He's about to make Howard pay for his own underestimation and for being the subject of such a terrible movie, when he hears something.

"Hey, knucklehead. How'sa bout you watch this!" Aron turns and sees Robonic Stooge Moe, who fires his pointer and middle fingers in a V right at Aron's eyes.

It is the last thing that the Rogue Watcher will see this match, as he is now dead.

"Thanks for the assist pal!" exclaims a relieved Howard

"Soitenly! Us terrible movie subjects gotta stick together! Nyuck nyuck!" says Curly

"Alright, numbskulls. Comeon. These Horsemen ain't gonna take this lying down. Say, where's Larry?" asks Moe

suddenly Larry's head floats by.

"Ooooo. A wise guy! RrrArf! Arf! Arf!" snorts an enraged Curly, as Larry's killer Dia Atlas makes himself known to the group of misfits.

"Hey, fella, Pick two" says Moe as he loads up his hand to blast the transformer.

"Fine. One. Two!" replies the supreme commander of the Autobot forces who pulls on the Stooges like he was Raylan Givens-quickly finishing off the Stooges, leaving the green ringed Howard the duck on his own.

Howard thinks quickly and wills up an emerald can opener. This was probably the most offensive thing you could ever use in conjuntion with a Transformer, so Atlas shoots off Howard's hand, grabs the cripples duck, and  begins mashing him in his fist the way you'd smash an ant.

"Now." says a voice, and a giant black garbage truck appears.

"What the?" questions Dai Atlas when a giant green hand pushes him into the truck and smashes him.

"Good work, guys" says Booster Gold. "I knew that can opener thing would ruffles some feathers"

As Batgirl silently shakes her head at the terrible pun, and Black Lantern Guy Gardner goes to retort. All three are instantly vaporized.

"Idiots" sneers Hal Jordan "This is taking too long. Enough fooling around. Let's finish this"

"Patience, Jordan" replies Sinestro "They'll all fall soon enough. Let the others earn their pay this match. We just need to wait, and let victory come to us."

Jordan reluctantly agrees to wait with Sinestro, while the other Horsemen "earn their pay" but only after he single handedly destroys black lantern General Grievous. The Murderflies have gotten a few breaks, destroying black lantern Mike Sroka and  Brother Hymn, but not without a price. After Black Panther assisted in destroying the black lantern, he died at the hands of red lantern Jeff Houslander who made a tasteless joke about "black on black crime".

Jeff turns to look for another victim, and finds them in our Martian friends from earlier.  He instantly kills Martian #4, and wounds #1. #9 fires at Jeff and hits him. In the arm. This act further enrages the elder Houslander, which causes his power levels to rise. Still not used to controlling a power ring, Jeff immediately vomits the burning red plasma of anger and finishes off the two martians. Jeff stops to catch his breath, when a giant green baseball bat knocks his head off.

"And it's a beautiful day for an asskicking" says legendary voice of the Detroit Tigers Ernie Harwell "With my blue ring, and the green energy of will power provided by the 26th President of the United States, the Horsemen of the Apocalypse are finding themselves in the cen-"

Ernie can't finish his exposition, because renegade Guardian Scar has killed him.

"Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage" says Teddy who fires upon Scar with his ring.

"Fool" she hisses. "You can't use the ring to slay a Guardian! You know NOTHING of our laws!"

"All I know, is you talk to much you rapscallion" Teddy calmly replies "Now, how about you come over here and I'll give you what for. Powers or no powers I'm a trust buster, and your hording of galactic power is just the sort of thing I will niot stand for."

Enraged by Teddy's dismissal of her, Scar charges as Teddy puts up his dukes. While their battles begins, elsewhere Teddy's teammate Bubbles is in the fight of her life. Knowing this to be her last match, Bubbles is fighting her heart out. With help from the last two martians, Bubbles was able to kill Jean Grey since the dominant psychic feed back of martians is nothing more that having an extremely loud bike horn beeped right in your ears. This gave Bubbles enough of a distraction to fly through Jean's midsection and cleave her in half before she could use her Phoenix powers.  Bubbles turned her attention to Firestorm just as he finishes off the last of the martians.

"Oh! Come on! A girl!" whines Jason "How am I"


ZzzzzrrraCCCkkkkk!! Bubbles fries him with her heat vision.

"Impressive. Most impressive" booms the voice of Hal Jordan "But now it's time to end this" he readies himself to slay the Powerpuff Girl

"Wait." says Bubbles "Can I have one last request?"

"Don't do it Jordan, kill her" urges Sinestro

"What can it hurt? She's just a little girl" smirks Jordan. "What do you need sweetie?"

"Can I be killed by the most powerful member of the Horsemen, so it looks good on my tombstone?" she whimpers

"You're about to be"  Hal says

"No. Not you, The One Above All."

"What? He's not more powerful than me! Do you see all these rings? Plus I have two entities. I'm more powerful" Hal curtly responds.

"Yeah, but he's an Eternal" responds Bubbles "You couldn't kill an Eternal. I want an Eternal to have the glory of killing me."

"Don't listen Jordan!" screams Sinestro "Kill her. Now!"

"Yeah, Jordan. Kill me, since you couldn't kill an Eternal" goads Bubbles.

"F**L YOU YOU LITTLE B***H!!!" scream Hal "THAT F*****T ETERNAL WON'T GET MY GLORY!!!!!!"  and Hal rockets off after The One Above All.

"You think you're so clever" starts Sinestro "Well I'm not so easily duped" and Sinestro levels his white ring at Bubbles, readies to fire, and...

nothing happens.

"You can't use the white light to kill a little girl, smart guy." smirks Bubbles as she cracks her knuckles. She then flies up and snaps the defenseless Sinestro's neck. However, this was not the best time to drop her innocent act, as just as she kills Sinestro Hal returns with the corpse of the One Above All.

"You. You tricked me?" Hal seethes. His red ring begins to glow.

Bubbles knows her time is coming to an end, so she decides to go down like a true hero. By talking trash

"Yeah. It's not like it was hard. But you got me. I'm just glad I'm being killed by Parallax Hal Jordan and not Ophidi-whatever Hal Jordan. That'd just be stupid"

"Shut up!" screams Hal, his red ring beginning to glow

"I mean, come on. Why did YOU have to get to entities? Are the rest of your teammates so sucktacular that they couldn't use the boost of the entity of greed? Or are you just too afraid to share the emotional powers?"

"You....you don't know anything." begins Hal his Parallax form beginning to wither, but the orange power of greed begins to grow brighter. "I'm Hal Jordan. The greatest green lantern ever!!"

"But you're not even a green lantern on your own team. You owner only has eyes for Sinestro!" Bubbles screams "Who did he pay Ethan Van Scriver to do a commiss.."

"F**K YOU!!!!! DDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  screams Hal Jordan as he unleashes every bit of energy he has in him to silence the insolent Murderfly.

"I'm Hal Jordan. I'm the best, I get the glory. Me. Me. Me." screams Hal as he surveys the carnage around him. "I did this. I unleashed all the destruction. I w-"

BLAM! Hal's head explodes in a burst of green light.

"Bully for you" whispers a bruised, battered and bloody Teddy Roosevelt. His knuckles bloody raw after beating Scar to death with his hands. Teddy surveys the scene and shakes his head in disgust.

"Bully for you."

12 comments:

Krisatu said...

The Horsemen of the Apocalypse: All Dead

Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies: Teddy Roosevelt w/green lantern ring survives


BROCK SAMSON'S FIGHTING MURDERFLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!!!!!

Ryan said...

What the f*** just happened?!?!?!

Artifact said...

Bully! Awesome. Nice work as usual, Chris.

Goof. The "New AL" powerhouse.

Tough break, Ry.

-Z

Archr5 said...

2012 is the year of the underdog baby!

(oh speaking of which, does anyone have Underdog? I think he would be a valuable asset to the Murderflies)

RIP Bubbles you've done the memory of the Powerpuff's proud this day.

Rest easy friend.

Krisatu said...

Underdog used to be an Abomitron. I'm not sure where he went after they disbanded. I know I don't have him on my team.

Ryan said...

He's on the Graveyard.

Lickolas said...

Really funny and incredibly clever Krisatu.

A surprise to say the least but nice win Goof.

Damn Ry, that one has got to hurt.

Ryan said...

Hurts is an understatement.

But that's ok... The Horsemen face Logical Genocide next week. So they'll have to deal with my vengeance. Yellow Lantern Freddy Krueger is already foaming at the mouth to get his hands around Chris Seeney's neck.

Nice win Goof. Can't believe you beat me and you didn't even start a full team.

NFG Mike said...

Given the mental effects certain rings have on the users, you're lucky Hal isn't in an institution already. Between the martians, teddy, andre, and the bubbles mindf@ck, this one had me rollin.

Solobeck said...

Like the twists and turns! Nice watchin!

-Becks

Josh the Commish said...

Cool match Krisatu!! I loved to see the last power puff gitl go down in such s blaze of glory. They have been awesome to write since year 1!! I am sure The Murderflies will miss their power!!

Ryan said...

Queen Kate got the Ferengi Energy Whip.