Week 2: Darkseid's Horsmen of Apokolips vs The Cowboy Killers

Followers of the End: Darkseid, Ultron w/ The Infinity Gauntlet including the Power and Time Stones, Tulin w/ 2 Katana Blades, Agent Smith (final death) w/ 2 White Lightsabers, Red Robin w/ 2 Ninja Swords, Grand Admiral Thrawn w/ Green Lantern Ring in a Phoenix TIE Fighter

Marlboro Reds: Harry Potter, Professor McGonagall, Storm, Aang w/ Star Sapphire Ring, Commander Ahsoka Tano in Ahsoka’s Starfighter, Cal Kestis, BD-1, 2 Mandalorian #3A-#4A, Kyle Houslander Dunadan Ranger, Ancient Sith Lord #1

“Welcome to Rito Village!” Tulin speaks from his beak to the Hateful Eight Cowboy Killers who dare step into these protected lands. One may be confused on the numerical literacy of Tulin for the sweet sweet cigarette crew counts more than 8 individuals. However, the common folks don’t have rights in these parts, and Tulin’s eye can see Snips circling in the distance with her starfighter, thus rounding out this wandering crew of 8 individuals.

“Odd… it shows similarities to the airbending temples” says the GOAT avatar (Korra could suck it). “Shame it all must come down.”

Tulin flaps his wings, “Come down you say?” The bird-like creature turns to retreat to a higher elevation in the village while saying over shoulder, “You’ll wish you never came here…”

Immediately following, the Village’s first line of defense takes the form of a master strategist confined to a mere Phoenix TIE fighter who opens fire on the new visitors of Rito. The Grand Admiral was able to strike down the common mandos and singular sith lord. Although, it is a shame he is forced into a machine that stands no chance to the fierce Ahsoka Tano who makes quick work of the opposing pilot.

Ahsoka continues her onslaught as she reigns down hellfire on the village. She obliterates everything in her path for she is simply the most powerful star wars character to have ever fought. This Horsemen team is being killed one by one until it appears everyone is dead and the Cowboy Killers have no work left to do.

Kyle Houslander, the wise Dunadan Ranger, reflects on the victory that is had here, “It seems too easy. I don’t see how Alex Houslander could think he will win it all again. He just had one person kill his entire team. Look at Darkseid’s body here, slain with such simplicity.”

As watcher of this match, I too am confused by the manner in which such a victory has been earned. This match was short and had no suspense, but I suppose the Cowboy Killers are—

Wait, the landscape is… reversing? It appears the village fires are going out and the Horsemen are regaining life. And now a purple blast strikes the Commander’s ship instantly exploding it.

“What magic is this??” Demands Professor McGonagall.

“No magic, simple creature. I control all, and I will stop you creatures so that peace can occur.” Ultron’s voice echoes over the village. The glare of his Gauntlet shines across all, for it was the time stone who did this work.

The second attack wave of Horsemen contains all their might. Agent Smith appears to be on another level of hatred as he destroys Kyle Houslander and BD-1. But mess with the droid and you mess with Cal Kestis, junkyard dawg, who ferociously leaps towards the man in black… only to be split in two, for Agent Smith and his own lightsabers are too much for the Jedi to handle.

“AVADA KEDAVRA” a green bolt strikes down the suited man. “I’ve always wanted to use that spell!” Professor McGonagall grins.

“PROFESSOR” exclaims Harry, “I thought we aren’t supposed to use that spell, it’s unforgivable!”

“If you want to walk out of here alive, you better start using it” replies McGonagall.

The professor shoots another green bolt to the sky and takes down the Rito bird known as Tulin. Harry is disgusted by his mentor’s actions, it’s despicable for her to throw away all her morals… in his state of confusion, Red Robin has been able to sneak up and find his blade into the back of the boy who lived. Aang sees this act too late, but is at least able to airbend Tim Drake off the edge of the village where he falls to his death.

McGonagall is heartbroken to see Harry die, but she is blessed with a quick death from Darkseid and she will never have to come to terms with that death.

Darkseid turns towards the remaining two Killers trying to end this fight quickly, but the combined atmospheric control by Storm and the airbending skills of Aang is enough force to tear the new god apart. The ruler of Apokolips is absolutely shredded to pieces by the bald headed duo.

“Shame, this town suffers because of your interference. Remember that for your next life Avatar, perhaps you’ll be so lucky not to meet me again.You asked for this town to come down, and that it will.” Ultron finishes the last words with a purple blast to the village floor that spreads and spreads until the entire village explodes.